What Role Does Strife Play in Creating Stress?

Strife causes stress, whether a current experience or a future possibility. Strife can be defined as conflict, discord or dissension between individuals or isolated within your emotional self. Stress creates mental and physical tension, ranging from minor to severe, depending on each person’s perception of a situation.

One way to manage stress caused by strife is to negotiate a solution to whatever caused the conflict. 

Genesis 13 tells how Abraham initiated a settlement between himself and his nephew Lott. “Let us end the quarrel between us, for we are brothers. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right.”

Abraham offered a positive choice that could not be rejected. His faith in God was strong and mature, so he knew God would bless him for settling the dispute. This is a positive way to manage stress and reduce harmful strife. Believe right now that God will bless you abundantly for following the same method.  

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Abram said to Lott, “Let us not have fighting between us…After all, we’re family. Look around. Isn’t there plenty of land out there? Let’s separate. If you go left, I’ll go right; if you go right, I’ll go left.” 

~Genesis 13:8-9 The Message

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How Can Stress Be Good for You?

Stress management is what every person attempts to do each day. Infants who feel stress have a way of the alerting parents or caretakers to their discomfort. Stress continues to be an issue at every phase of life since society is continuously changing and will generate feelings of fear and uncertainty.

Yet change can be challenging, even helpful, if hope for the future is built on faith in God’s promises. So stress can be good when it promotes a healthier lifestyle plus serves as motivation for trusting God’s purpose for your future. Life is not easy, but if you actually expect God to intervene, your faith will be your security.

There are individuals who believe all stress is bad because of the ways it affects their thinking and feelings. One way to reduce stress is to redefine your life based on God’s purpose for you. 

Can you say, “God knows every detail of my choices and still approves of my life?” If not, make the necessary changes so he will approve.          

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He has saved and called us to a holy life not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

~2 Timothy 1:9 New International Version

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Is God Interested in Where You Fit In Socially?

It’s perfectly normal for parents to see their infants as exceptionally gifted. The family can, however, become a prime source of stress for a child when parents are inordinately focused on achievements rather than loving each child for who they are and what they are becoming.

Status-seeking is often loaded with stress, especially when parents depend on their children to fit in socially. The older a child, the more important it is that the child fits in with a particular group. Social status continues to be a source of stress due to our competitive nature. We measure up if we’re accepted into certain groups.

Yet, God’s word warns about thinking of yourself as being above others, which conveys social striving. 

Knowing that Jesus loves you and all others unconditionally should reduce this striving. God’s love compels you to love and accept others regardless of their social position. Because God loves his creation unconditionally, we are all precious in his sight. 

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[Jesus said,] “Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able.”

~Luke 13:24  English Standard Version

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Is Status-seeking Through Children Harmful?

Parents want their children to be successful, which may translate into status for the parents. Status-seeking surfaces early in life, often prompted by parents. Status is defined by how well you measure up compared to others in a particular social group. Status most often aligns with what is possible rather than what is out-of-bounds.

A Little League boy or girl would not try to measure up to a major league baseball hero, but with others in that age group. Imagine a seven-year-old becoming despondent over failing to throw a baseball as fast as a major league pitcher! That would be like you comparing your finances to Bill Gates’ finances.

Seeking status through a child can set the child up for a lifetime of hardships. God’s word encourages parents to bring up a child according to their temperament, personality, and talents. This will enhance their chances for success as an adult. Status is becoming the person God intended for you to become.          

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Do not conform yourself to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God – what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect…So we are to use our different gifts in accordance with the grace God has given to us.

~Romans 12:2,6 Good News Bible

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Are Comparisons Detrimental to your Well-Esteem?

Comparisons are difficult, if not impossible, to avoid. Parents compare their children to other children’s performances, especially in athletics and academic achievements. Siblings compare themselves with each other, especially in terms of parental approval. Comparing who you are and what you are was initiated by God’s first family.

Cain and Abel, sons of Adam and Eve, set the stage for the rest of humanity to follow throughout the ages. Cain became jealous because Able presented a more acceptable offering to God, so he lured his brother to an isolated place and murdered him there.

The sad truth about comparisons is that you diminish yourself by overlooking the gifts and talents God has given to you. You are unique in God’s perception, and that truth can bring you security and peace when you forbid comparisons to take place. 

God told the Christians at Corinth to stop comparing themselves to each other because it stole their joy. So give thanks to God for what you have and are.                               

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We don’t dare to…compare ourselves with some of those who speak highly of themselves, but when they measure themselves by their own yardstick and compare themselves with themselves, they don’t show good sense.

~2 Corinthians 10:12 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

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Can Self-deception Be Overcome?

When I first began to read the Bible, one of the many words I had trouble understanding came from John 1:47. While Jesus was assembling his disciples, Philip found Nathanael and brought him to Jesus. As soon as Jesus saw Nathanael he declared, “Here is a true Israelite in whom there is no guile.”

Guile actually refers to deceit or deception. It means lacking in honesty, deliberately lying to cover personal flaws and failures so others will only see what is acceptable. Everyone is afflicted with a touch of guile, if only in a moment of vulnerability, but for some people it’s a serious disability.

Fortunately, God provides help to fight against duplicity when there is a willingness to face the truth about failing to live up to God’s expectations. 

He knows you and everything about you and still loves you. Now that’s the perfect motivation for loving God and committing your life to him. Do that now. It will last a lifetime.  

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Jesus saw Nathanael coming towards him and remarked, “Now here is a true man of Israel; there is no deceit in him!”

~John 1:47 Phillips – New Testament in Modern English

 

The Lord hates liars but is pleased with those who keep their word.

~ Proverbs 12:22 Good News Bible

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Can You Escape from a Life of Duplicity?

When my children were in middle school, a keen sense of rivalry existed for who could hurl the most stinging insults and put-downs. It was crucial never to show hurt feelings, even when insults cut to the bone.  The sad fact was, some children had to live a life of duplicity – feeling a certain way but acting contrary to that feeling.

Not only did these children have to be shrewd in dishing out insults, but in projecting strength that was above being put down. The objective was to disguise hurt feelings. Thank God this behavior tapered off following middle school but, for some, it served as training for living a life of duplicity.

While these insults were issued in humor by some children, humor can be treacherous. So be careful when you throw stones, for they may inflict pain that never heals. Isaiah 53:9 portrays Jesus as having no deceit or malice. So follow his lead and permit kindness and gentleness to replace all malice and deceit.               

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[Jesus] died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of his people…even though he’d never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn’t true. 

~Isaiah 53:9 The Message

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