What Shuts Down a Foolish Argument?

Arguments and conflicts cannot be avoided in most relationships. A defining moment between two people is not that an argument or fight takes place, but what happens afterwards. A significant argument can erupt spontaneously over minor issues but end up doing emotional damage to the relationship.

A pivotal moment is created by understanding the degree to which a person may cover up hurt feelings because they fear expressing what they think and feel. After a disagreement, it’s critically important for you to share what happened from each person’s point of view.

If critical thoughts and feelings dominate without working toward a resolution, emotional distance will take place. Rather than permitting alienation to become permanent, be honest and share what you did to create the conflict. 

God honors honesty and will provide help to make resolutions possible. So be willing to make things right.  

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A kind answer soothes angry feelings, but harsh words stir them up. Words of wisdom come from the wise, but fools speak foolishness. 

~Proverbs 15:1-2 Contemporary English Version

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You are invited to listen as I will be the guest on "Vital Issues in the Christian Home" next week on Thursday morning, April 10 from 10:30-11:30 Central Daylight Time on KHCB radio at 105.7 FM in the Houston area. To stream it live or for a listing of sister stations in TX, OK, LA, AR, and FL, please go to www.khcb.org.

What Hope Is Available When Teenagers Leave Home?

Defining moments occur throughout life, and for a teenager who is leaving home to live separately from the parents at a college or university, this is one of those moments. Depending on the young person’s maturity, leaving home is one step in becoming self-directed.

However, parent’s counsel and help should continue until the young person’s maturity has advanced. Sending young people out the door with love, trust, and respect is a recipe for potential success in their academics and in future relationships such as marriage and family.

Parents must be willing to step forward and initiate appropriate boundaries throughout childhood and adolescence, which later will help a young person to leave home with peace and the parents’ blessing. “Bring up a child in the way he or she should go” and they will stay with that framework as they advance in years. 

This is God’s promise for parents and a sure hope to hold onto.    

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Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

~Proverbs 22:6 New International Version

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How Does Facing the Truth Create a Defining Moment?

A defining moment can be a life-altering experience affecting how life is perceived from simplicity to profound truths. It’s as if a light has been turned on that penetrates an ever-dark crevice in your mind and soul. A defining moment is analogous to understanding something for the first time.

This happened to David when Nathan, God’s messenger, told him a story that illustrated a profound truth. It caused David to see himself as a thief who stole Bathsheba, with whom he had committed adultery. He then had her husband murdered.

Facing this truth was definitely a pivotal moment for David, which inspired Psalm 51. This Psalm was like an e-mail to God containing a confession of sin and heartfelt repentance. He promised to teach others about God’s mercy and forgiveness. This defining moment changed David’s self-centeredness by transforming him into “a man after God’s own heart.”

Can you imagine that?         

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I have sinned and done wrong since the day I was born. But you want complete honesty, so teach me true wisdom. Wash me with hyssop until I am clean and whiter than snow. Let me be happy and joyful! You crushed my bones, now let me celebrate. Turn your eyes from my sin and cover my guilt. Create pure thoughts in me and make me faithful again.

~Psalm 51:5-10 Contemporary English Version

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How Can You Respond to God's Defining Moment?

Samuel was three old when his mother Hannah left him with Eli, the high priest, to foster the child as a servant of God. Hannah had promised God she would do this. While Samuel was still a child, one night he awoke to a voice calling his name. This happened three times.

Eli served as father, teacher, and counselor to Samuel and was wise enough to realize a defining moment was occurring. Listen to Eli’s counsel to Samuel: “Go and lie down, and when you hear your name called by the Lord, say, ‘Speak, for your servant is listening.’” For the rest of his life Samuel knew God had called him to be his servant.

If you are ready to experience God’s defining moment or have already experienced it, then how you are to respond to his purpose and directions will become clear. Your reward will be peace because you are not resisting, as well as assurance because all is well and right in your heart and soul – for God has spoken and you have listened.                     

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Therefore, if any one is in Christ Jesus, he or she is a new creation; the old has passed away, for the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.

~2 Corinthians 5:17-18 Revised Standard Version

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Can Impulsive Behavior Be Controlled?

One characteristic of adolescent children is the tendency to act impulsively without first evaluating the implications of their choices. Young people’s immaturity and lack of experience make it difficult to visualize themselves meeting a tragic end.

Impulsive behavior is often associated with lasting regret. In high school, two friends impulsively decided to join the Navy. Having failed to acquire high school diplomas, their assigned job duties failed to meet their expectations. Another defining moment came when they left their Naval base without permission and returned home.

Impulsive decisions often result in pain and suffering. Yet a decisive moment can be a positive experience when anchored in prayer and the certainty of God’s blessings. Failures also can result in positive good if a person seeks God’s forgiveness and turns to him in sincere repentance.

God’s love for us is greater than our sin.                    

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When the righteous cry out for help, the Lord hears and delivers them... The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.

~Psalm 34:17-18 Revised Standard Version

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What Secret Plan Is God Waiting to Share with You?

A decisive moment can be prompted by what was not previously understood. The mother of a third-grade girl did everything conceivable to ensure her daughter’s popularity at school. Realizing her daughter’s frustration and unhappiness, the mother wisely decided to stop pressuring her little girl.

It was a decisive moment when the mother realized that loving her child as the person God created was the most significant blessing she could bestow upon her. 

The child no longer felt that pleasing her mother was her main purpose in life. She now could be friends with whomever she chose.

God’s desire is to give you his love. Colossians 1:27 tells us God’s secret plan is literally Christ Jesus in you so you can share in God's glory. Coming to realize and accept this wonderful truth can be a pivotal moment that changes your life. Why not do it? Just tell Jesus you’re ready.   

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But thanks be to God! For through what Christ has done, he has triumphed over us so that now wherever we go he uses us to tell others about the Lord [Jesus Christ] and to spread the Gospel like sweet perfume. 

~2 Corinthians 2:14 The Living Bible

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What's Holding You Back from Seeking God?

When was the last time you met someone who became a permanent fixture in your memory? Pivotal events can have such an enduring influence that your life is forever changed. A young couple met each other at a social function related to their employment, and over the following months their paths continued to cross.

A pivotal moment signals the flowing together of thoughts and feelings that may have taken months to formulate. Spiritually, it can be indicative of God at work to bring about a consciousness of his presence in you. Jesus told his disciples that he would send the Spirit of truth to guide and teach them all things.

Making a decision to seek God with all your heart is a pivotal moment that will change your life. A decision of this magnitude brings a new level of satisfaction and peace within because Jesus resides at its center. 

When you draw near to God, he will draw near to you, so fill your mind with things that are good and praiseworthy.  

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Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life.

~Proverbs 4:23 Contemporary English Version

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