Can Grief Be Acknowledged in an Ever-changing World?

 As women discover equal opportunity, men consequentially are forced to adjust their expectations at work and in the home by relinquishing a measure of control and dominance. Men must permit themselves to grieve in ways that promote healing and acceptance.

There isn’t an exact prescription for men or women to follow when grieving, for it varies according to personality and what has been learned about expressing personal feelings. Over time minor losses accumulate to become major emotional issues equated to divorce or the death of a loved one.

Major and minor changes occur that affect one’s identity and status, resulting in anger and fear, which are features of grief. Longing for what is been lost is also an attribute of grief. Psalm 143:6 cries out to God: “My spirit faints with longing.” The plea is for God to provide hope and security in an ever-changing world.                      

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When I walk into the thick of trouble, keep me alive in the angry turmoil. With one hand strike my foes, with your other hand save me. Finish what you started in me, God. Your love is eternal – don’t quit on me now.

~Psalm 138:7-8 The Message

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How Are Integrity and Dignity Related to Grief?

Is significant change possible without the loss of integrity and dignity? The answer is yes. Yet some changes do tear at the fabric of what life hinges on. Some people perceive change as diminishing their power, status and prestige, from which recovery seems impossible.

Any loss that creates grief has to be processed. Women and men grieve differently. Women traditionally have permission to show their emotions without shame or ridicule, except in a professional setting. Men have not had freedom to openly grieve with dignity and integrity.

So much of expressed anger and hostility by both men and women is unexpressed grief, related to what has been lost. The Psalmist declares in Psalm 119 that his “soul is consumed with longing for what can no longer be possessed.” Believe the Lord God provides integrity and dignity as you open your heart to his mercy.                              

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Thank you for your love; thank you for your faithfulness. Most holy is your name; most holy is your Word. The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength.

~Psalm 138:2-3 The Message

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Can You Live with the Changes Society Demands?

The reality of role reversal is an issue with which society must comply out of necessity. It’s not uncommon for a husband to stay at home with children while his wife goes to work because she commands a higher income. They believe one parent should care for their children rather than leave them in daycare.

Some men are choosing to be nurses while some women are choosing to be doctors. These changes are met with acceptance, for society basically respects these changes instead of viewing them as unacceptable. Changes made with integrity and dignity enhance self-respect and self-worth.

New opportunities become available as society changes. Listen to God’s word: “Be alert, I am about to do something new. It’s bursting out, don’t you see it? I’m making a way through the wilderness and will provide for you there.”

So open your heart and mind to be sure you are following God's plan. 

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I will instruct you, says the Lord, and guide you along the best pathway for your life; I will advise you and watch your progress.

~Psalm 32:8 The Living Bible

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What Is Learned by Submitting to Challenges?

Challenges always coexist with varying degrees of frustration relative to the intensity of the challenge. In every stage of life frustration plays a major role. Adults are challenged today by changing roles they must master or be left behind.

Women are challenged to obtain and succeed in positions once held by men. Each year more women are accepted at medical schools than are men, and women professors at those schools continue to grow. This trend provides cause for women to celebrate.

If every challenge is accompanied by frustration, how are men responding to the challenge of sharing power with women who desire to use the talents God gave them. Challenges can be greeted with fear or seen as opportunities to grow into the person God intended. 

God intended for both men and women to be receptive to mastering new roles for the purpose of serving him and each other.                      

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If you wander off the road to the right or left, you will hear his voice behind you saying, “Here is the road: Follow it.”

~Isaiah 30:21 Good News Bible

 

Jesus said, “I am the Road [or the Way], also the Truth and the Life.”

~John 14:6 The Message

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What's the Cost for Failing to Comply with God's Purpose?

In the beginning of public education, men held the position of teacher, first for boys and then for girls. As women were accepted into higher levels of education they gradually replaced men as public school teachers. Positions in administration and athletics would come later.

How are men responding to the challenge of women being their employers, supervisors, and colleagues? A world without challenge will never exist, for challenge brought civilization into existence. God’s on-going challenge to men and women today is, “Be fruitful and increase in numbers. Fill the earth and subdue it.” 

Failure to comply with God’s plan eventually creates a breakdown of the ability to function in ways that are blessed by him. The challenge men and women face is to respond to the opportunities God provides. 

God is at work in his world to bring to fruition his goodness and plans.                           

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You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!  

~Isaiah 26:3 New Living Translation

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Is It Possible to Fulfill God's Purpose for You?

Teenagers push for increasing independence in our society, for it’s a normal step in moving toward adulthood. There continues to be a strong drive by women to seek more independence from their traditional roles and identity. Women now contribute their intellectual, social, and leadership skills in most career fields.

With every change there’s a trickle-down effect for the rest of society. The role of men in response to women competing for power and position is an example of the trickle-down effect. Another is that most fathers want their daughters to succeed to the place that best accommodates their intelligence and goals.

However, there continues to be some prejudice against women in leadership roles. God, the creator of intelligence and aptitude, has a purpose for each person willing to move faithfully toward fulfilling his purpose. 

Participating in what God is doing creates peace and joy that cannot be overcome.                                

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Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.

~Romans 12:2 New International Version Bible

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God Intended for There to Be Change – Can You Comply?

The mother of a teenage daughter lamented how the social rules have changed since she was an adolescent. Women can now compete for positions in any career field and have proven to be worthy contenders. That a woman would run for president was unthinkable just two generations ago.

When a significant part of society changes, it forces the rest of society to realign itself. It’s analogous to systems theory, which implies if part of a system changes, the complete system is affected. So as women’s issues experience broad-spectrum change, men’s issues are modified accordingly.

The consolation for these changes is that God intended for there to be change, and with his guidance and wisdom there can be honor, integrity, mutual love and respect as God’s plans become apparent. Psalm 138:8 assures, “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; His steadfast love endures forever.”             

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You were told that your foolish desires will destroy you and that you must give up your old way of life with all its bad habits. Let the Holy Spirit change your way of thinking and make you into a new person. You were created to be like God, and so you must please him and be truly holy. 

~Ephesians 4:22-24 Contemporary English Version

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