Give Up Grabbing ~ Give In to God

It is not uncommon in friendships or a marriage relationship to feel slighted when it comes to giving and receiving. Jacob surely felt this way when he worked seven years for his future father-in-law for the privilege of marrying Rachel, his daughter. But the conniving, prospective father-in-law manipulated Jacob into working another seven years by hoodwinking him into first marrying Leah, his older daughter. 

          Jacob was a slick conniver who would take whatever he wanted by hook or crook without worrying that his schemes would turn against him. When he agreed to work seven years for Rachel, perhaps he believed his dreams were coming true. 

 

          Seven years is a long time to work for the woman he loved, but in doing so, it seemed he had control of the situation. Yet if he were to become God's man, a man reflecting God's grace and mercy, he would have to lose the arrogant attitude that dominated his life. God patiently and deliberately redeems those he chooses to carry out his purpose. 

Giving: A Bridge to Healthy Relationships

Jacob’s transformation from a shrewd grabber had to be a first step in preparing him for building a reliable bridge for healthy relationships. Ironically, in the grabber’s perception, all that’s taken is never enough to satisfy the impulse to grab more. Transforming a grabber’s attitude requires God’s act of redemption. The grabber will testify it is more blessed to receive than to give.

Aristotle, the fourth century BC philosopher believed, "The good man thinks it is more blessed to give than to receive." St. Francis, 1600 years later, testified, “It is only in giving that we receive." In God's economy it is never the amount given, but the condition of the heart and feelings of gratitude that count.

Jesus identified a poor widow who gave only a fraction of a penny for her offering to God, but it was all she had, in comparison to money given by a wealthy person who would never miss what he gave. There is no greater reward than God's favor. Think about it. 

Redemption: Becoming a Giver

Jacob's covenant with the Lord God began the process of his redemption, changing him into a person with a godly conscience. It started him on a journey in life where he would learn what it means to be a giver rather than a taker. His redemption was a crucial first step in preparing him for significant future relationships.  

          Being a grabber is a big obstacle to overcome. The grabber is driven by a selfish need to possess, without regard for the rights and feelings of others. A grabber extracts from his victims with charm and what appears to be concern for others. You might initially feel OK that this deceiver has taken your prized possession. 

          If this appears to be an extreme characterization, remember - a deceiver’s life is basically empty and in need of redemption. For Jacob, redemption meant building a conscience centered around God's love and acceptance. God’s gift of Rachel, who became the love of his life, helped Jacob to transform into a giver. God’s love is the source for needed change.  

From Grabber to Giver

When Jacob met God in a dream on a lonely road, God laid down the foundation for building a bridge for a different lifestyle. This encounter was the beginning of God’s transforming him from being a selfish grabber into being a giver. He promised God to give a tenth of all he would earn as a symbol of his faith.

 

God promised to protect and prosper Jacob, and that promise would be remembered the remainder of his life. Jacob had nothing to show for the past forty years, so when he was tricked into marrying Leah, his uncle's oldest daughter instead of Rachel, the girl he loved, he could accept this hardship because he believed God’s promise.

 

By focusing on God’s promise, Jacob turned an obstacle into an opportunity and did so with integrity, intelligence and honesty. Jacob committed his life to God, and God honored his commitment. Jacob made mistakes, but when he remembered his covenant with God, he was able to pick up and go forward, knowing God would bless him. What covenant have you made with Christ Jesus?

Great Challenges and Ordinary People

An astute philosopher observed, "There are no great men, only great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to overcome." Jacob's prospective father-in-law tricked him into marrying his oldest daughter Leah instead of Rachel, the girl he loved. If he wanted Rachel, he would have to work seven more years for her.

 

Honoring the terms of the contract would be a great challenge, but to finish it without harboring deep-seated anger and bitterness would be a greater challenge. Laban tricked Jacob with the old bait-and-switch tactic, but he promised that Rachel would be Jacob’s wife when he finished the wedding week festivities with Leah.

Jacob’s challenge was maintaining an accepting attitude toward Leah, knowing she was not the woman he loved. Another significant challenge would be balancing the earlier covenant he made with the Lord God while maintaining an acceptable attitude toward his father-in-law. God will give us grace, strength and wisdom for contending with all of life’s challenges. Praise God!  

Obstructions? Reality Check Required

Obstructions that seem to crowd each person's life journey can be fantasy smashers. No matter if you’re young and just beginning this journey or if you’ve been around awhile, obstacles become a major contender for blocking what you want to achieve. Every person has had hopes and dreams shattered by unexpected obstacles.

Jacob gladly agreed to work seven years for Rachel. However, his prospective father-in-law gave him Leah, Rachel's older sister. Jacob was tricked into marrying the woman he didn’t love. When Jacob discovered this deception, it was too late. For another seven years, he could only imagine the happiness he would share with Rachel.    

          Do you think Jacob ever connected on how Esau had felt when he conspired with their mother in a scheme to steal Esau’s blessing and birth right? The old saying of “what goes around, comes around” certainly showed up in this situation to give an accounting for sin. Yet the Lord God faithfully shows up with his grace and mercy that is greater than our sins.  

Sacrifice: A Bridge over Obstacles

When Jacob arrived at his uncle's home, he immediately began a relationship with his cousin Rachel that would change his life. Genesis 29:18 confirms he agreed to work seven years for Rachel. The culture of the day permitted fathers to choose husbands for their daughters. Laban told Jacob he would rather give her to him than someone else.

Rachel was possibly a teenager at the time of this agreement. Jacob was in his early forties. Yet he was so smitten with Rachel, seven years would pass quickly. He could see her every day, so anticipation for a joyful marriage had time to blossom and grow.  

Rachel’s father would prove be an obstacle for Jacob’s happiness. Instead of permitting this obstacle to dominate his chances for happiness, he agreed to the underhanded dealings of his uncle. Rachel’s love was worth any sacrifice. Isn't that how Jesus felt when he sacrificed himself for us? Have you accepted God’s sacrificial love for you? Think about it.  

Keep on Fighting the Good Fight

Obstructions can be an invitation to fight or a summons to admit failure. Inherent in human nature is the tendency to struggle to pursue what appears unattainable. Struggling against obstacles tests the strength of our character to succeed. Successfully fighting obstacles hinges on resilience and endurance.

 

          Fear and discouragement often converge to defeat faith in oneself and block the pathway to success. Discouragement is to be expected when continuous obstacles challenge the will to reach an objective. Fear and embarrassment of failure can be replaced by determination to fight the good fight of faith and do what is right.

           After Jacob settled in at his uncle Laban’s house, he soon discovered he had met his match in the game of manipulation and deception. He was challenged consistently by his uncle’s attempts to keep him off balance. God had begun His work of redemption in Jacob, so he felt compelled to trust God as if it were his only option. 

Two Options for Life

Great achievements throughout history were made possible by overcoming what seemed like impossible obstacles. Two options are to fight and overcome problems or to settle for the status quo and mediocrity. We do combat with obstacles because they symbolize defeat and failure and leave a negative mark on who we are as God’s creation.

A young woman who overcame serious learning disabilities and poverty to get a high school diploma was not satisfied with her success. She applied for college knowing it would be an uphill battle. Still she pressed on to finish a graduate degree and did so at the top of her class with a remarkable 4.0 grade point average. 

         The Greek philosopher and physician Hippocrates noted, “Life is short, opportunity fleeting, experience treacherous, and judgment difficult.” God’s word emphasizes today is the day for your salvation and you must work it out with fear and trembling. There are obstacles to fight in pursuit of any objective for Christ Jesus, but they are not insurmountable with his guidance and strength. 

Resilience: Recipe for Success

One of the most difficult obstacles to contend with is our own character weaknesses. Every day we’re inundated with allurements to test our commitment to higher standards of conduct portrayed in God’s word. The challenge goes beyond succumbing to obstacles and on to moving forward to reach the potential God designed for us.

John Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage teaches, “A man does what he must despite personal consequences, obstacles, pressures and dangers. This is the basis of all human morality.”  Humankind possesses two conflicting natures. One strives to grab what we can regardless of the cost to self and others. The other seeks a higher calling in Christ Jesus. 

          In Jacob’s struggle for redemption, he permits God to change him so he can see beyond his own self-seeking ambitions, not that they ever go away, but rather a new force arises to offer different choices. God does not give us new options without extending to us the power to achieve what He has purposed for us. 

Determined to Overcome Obstacles

Within most everyone resides determination to overcome obstacles that prevent reaching one’s desired objectives. Obstacles, sometimes referred to as “the briar patch effect”, may appear at any moment to test the strength of a person’s endurance and resilience. 

During the 1996 Olympics, American gymnast Kerri Strug injured her ankle, but by sheer determination she completed her event to win a gold medal. Although in excruciating pain, Kerri had a legitimate excuse to give up and quit, but this obstacle provided her an opportunity to show strength of character. She pulled up everything within her being to strain forward to win the prize for herself, her teammates and America.

  

           After God spoke to him in a dream, Jacob went forward with determination to face an unknown future. He believed God was now part of his life, anchored by a promise he could never forget. No matter what obstacles you’re facing, Christ Jesus is willing to give you, too, the inner strength to go forward to win the prize he has in store for you.

Living with God's Favor

There was a side of Elvis Presley that struggled to be in favor with Jesus Christ. While doing a concert at the University of Notre Dame, a group of women students held a huge banner that proclaimed, “Elvis is king.” He stopped the band and after looking at the banner responded by saying, “No, I'm not the king. Jesus Christ is the King.” 

   

Early on, the adulation of the fans was an obstacle that prevented Elvis from being himself. But it appears that he knew better than to let fans exalt him beyond who he was, a man with many flaws. On this occasion, the obstacle became an opportunity to express his faith in Christ Jesus.

 

Elvis faced another obstacle on the Ed Sullivan show when he wanted to sing ‘Peace in the Valley’. The producers objected but he insisted. He had promised his mother he would sing the song for her. Once again, he turned an obstacle into an opportunity to witness his faith. Although obstacles will surface, with God's help they can become opportunities.