Make Time to Care

The ability to communicate varies from person to person. The desire and need to communicate depends on each individual’s personality and temperament. As a teenager I made a concerted effort to explain to my father how I wrecked the car he had just given me. Needless to say, I was under great pressure to successfully plead my case. 

At the heart of all effective communication is caring enough for the other person and the relationship to speak honestly and thoroughly as well as being committed to listen to each other’s response. Caring enough supplies the incentive to speak on issues that need to be addressed.

So another basic principle for effective communication is making time to stay in touch so relationships can remain healthy and thrive. God patiently allows us to confess our sins and express our struggles without resorting to intimidation or condemnation because he cares enough to give us the latitude to grow and change. This personifies his grace and mercy. 

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 Don’t overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the end because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change.

~2 Peter 3:9 The Message

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Open the Door to Forgiveness

Assuming responsibility for one's actions is an example of maturity and a major component for making forgiveness possible. The moment responsibility is assumed for hurtful behavior, blaming others ceases to be a viable option. An essential component for extending forgiveness is seeing inherent value and worth in the person guilty of inflicting pain and suffering.

The basic reason for feeling empathy is that it opens the door to forgiveness. Just as you are worthy of forgiveness, being willing to see others as worthy of forgiveness is a necessity for letting go of anger and the desire for revenge. Forgiveness has to be unconditional, with no strings attached.

It's apparent everyone is not at this level of  maturity. However, wounded people need time to work through their pain and emotional damage until they are ready. God's love is patient and kind. He will never push you beyond your capabilities. Yet when you’re ready, God will give you strength and grace to build the bridge to freedom and forgiveness.  

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The Lord is merciful! He is kind and patient, and his love never fails. The Lord won’t always be angry and point out our sins; he doesn’t punish us as our sins deserve.

~Psalm 103:8-10 Contemporary English Version

Accept life, and be most patient and tolerant with one another, always ready to forgive if you have a difference with anyone. Forgive as freely as the Lord has forgiven you. And above everything else, be truly loving, for love binds all the virtues together in perfection.

~Colossians 3:13-14 Phillips – The New Testament in Modern English

We Can Trust God...What about Others?

Disappointment is unavoidable when an apology isn’t forthcoming from someone you’ve trusted but has caused you pain and suffering. Withholding trust for a person who does not honor personal boundaries, who betrays commitments, is both normal and necessary. Trust and confidence flourish or decline, based on behaviors and personalities.

Trust is a complex word, in that it connotes confidence and faith as well as beliefs and values. To dishonor boundaries is indicative of betrayal, and it questions whether trust can be continued or ever regained. To continue to trust after continuous betrayals is dangerous to one’s health and well-being.

          While trust is not easily regained, it’s important to communicate a willingness to do so wherever promises and efforts exist to change negative behaviors and attitudes that would promote distrust. God is patient with us as we struggle to mature and become more like Christ Jesus. To bring glory to God by fulfilling his purposes for us is a goal worthy of all our efforts. 

Give Up Grabbing ~ Give In to God

It is not uncommon in friendships or a marriage relationship to feel slighted when it comes to giving and receiving. Jacob surely felt this way when he worked seven years for his future father-in-law for the privilege of marrying Rachel, his daughter. But the conniving, prospective father-in-law manipulated Jacob into working another seven years by hoodwinking him into first marrying Leah, his older daughter. 

          Jacob was a slick conniver who would take whatever he wanted by hook or crook without worrying that his schemes would turn against him. When he agreed to work seven years for Rachel, perhaps he believed his dreams were coming true. 

 

          Seven years is a long time to work for the woman he loved, but in doing so, it seemed he had control of the situation. Yet if he were to become God's man, a man reflecting God's grace and mercy, he would have to lose the arrogant attitude that dominated his life. God patiently and deliberately redeems those he chooses to carry out his purpose. 

Sin --> Grief and Loss

Those individuals who practice deception as a means of satisfying their ego demands eventually push their tactics too far and consequently end up in harm’s way. When Rebekah and Jacob used their manipulative skills to steal Esau’s blessing, they were shocked and panicked to learn of Esau’s intent to kill Jacob as an act of revenge.

  

In the panic, Rebekah managed for Jacob to be sent to her brother’s home hundreds of miles away and carried out her plan under the cover of lies. Rebekah and Jacob would not confess their deceit or seek forgiveness, but continued building a bridge to grief and loss. Jacob would never again see his mother or father alive.

  

From Esau’s perspective, he lost out in every way imaginable. Earlier he had married two Canaanite women who were unacceptable. Now he would go to his uncle Ishmael to find a wife who was acceptable. At times it seems that redemption is out of reach, but God is patient and will wait for His perfect plan to be activated. Is God waiting for you?