How Does Your Identity Differ from All Others?

Recently, an interviewer asked me what I thought about men expressing their feminine side. When I asked what he meant, the man responded by stating his belief that most men were sensitive and had tender feelings but that this fact did not negate their masculinity.

In truth, every man has some feminine traits, but they are not dominant. Women have some masculine traits, but they are not dominant. Molly, a friend from childhood, loved to play sports with the boys, but she was very much a girl in ways that were undeniable.

Genesis confirms that God created man and woman in his image. He gave both the capacity to love, to be sensitive to each other, to have fun and enjoy each other. In God’s perspective there is “neither male nor female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus". We all have equal standing before him. He created us for each other and for himself and in his own image, which is a wonderful thought.

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Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

~Ephesians 5:1-2 New Living Translation

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Serious Conflict Requires Serious Sacrifice

Conflicts exist because of concerns that threaten a person or a relationship. Conflict may be incited when someone or something demands change that creates uncertainty and anxiety. What this demonstrates is that needed change has failed to take place, so confrontation is a natural consequence.

The American Revolutionist, Thomas Paine noted that, "What we obtain too cheaply, we tend to respect too flippantly." Only that which has value is worth fighting for. An engaged couple, both professionals, were offered career opportunities that set them on divergent pathways with extended periods of separation. Instead of giving and receiving encouragement, dissension created by anxiety and lack of trust ended their engagement. 

 

Conflict is indicative of competing needs. Serious conflict indicates serious sacrifices are necessary to ensure the stability of a relationship. Jesus was sacrificed to end the rebellion that sin created between mankind and God. What are you willing to sacrifice for peace?  

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“Stop fighting,” he says, “and know that I am God, supreme among the nations, supreme over the world.”

~Psalm 46:10 Good News Bible

And we know that Christ, God’s Son, has come to help us understand and find the true God. And now we are in God because we are in Jesus Christ his Son, who is the only true God; and he is eternal life.

~1 John 5:20 The Living Bible

We Can Trust God...What about Others?

Disappointment is unavoidable when an apology isn’t forthcoming from someone you’ve trusted but has caused you pain and suffering. Withholding trust for a person who does not honor personal boundaries, who betrays commitments, is both normal and necessary. Trust and confidence flourish or decline, based on behaviors and personalities.

Trust is a complex word, in that it connotes confidence and faith as well as beliefs and values. To dishonor boundaries is indicative of betrayal, and it questions whether trust can be continued or ever regained. To continue to trust after continuous betrayals is dangerous to one’s health and well-being.

          While trust is not easily regained, it’s important to communicate a willingness to do so wherever promises and efforts exist to change negative behaviors and attitudes that would promote distrust. God is patient with us as we struggle to mature and become more like Christ Jesus. To bring glory to God by fulfilling his purposes for us is a goal worthy of all our efforts. 

From Jealousy to Generosity

Even the noblest person is subject to jealousy when circumstances become threatening. To be generous and noble toward someone who is the object of jealousy requires sincere acts of generosity to diminish its power. Jealousy is shameful because its objective is another's misery, which violates God’s law to love one another.

          The motivation for overcoming jealousy and envy is to avoid thoughts and acts of malice. Malice is a state of mind that seeks pain, suffering and injury to others. These behaviors result in guilt, and guilt demands pardon and forgiveness. 

          To be liberated from jealousy and envy requires a process of being made new spiritually in one's mind. Only as you permit your mind to be transformed by the saving power of Christ Jesus can you experience being made new. The Apostle Paul instructed us to be imitators of Christ Jesus, meaning to give ourselves to others as Jesus gave himself up for us. 

Grow in Faith and Reap a Harvest of Righteousness - Part 3

It’s possible to become discouraged when changes which are needed to make life more dependable are so slow in coming. Productive change, without exception, coincides with making room for it to happen physically and emotionally. For a vineyard to stay healthy and productive, the grapevines must be pruned to make space for new growth.

Lasting change depends on your determination to create a place in your heart, mind and attitudes for it to exist. Fighting the fluctuation of feelings and thoughts can be discouraging, so change must be welcomed and nurtured. A healthy garden must be watered, and weeds that invade to suck away the nutrients must be recognized and obliterated.

          Change depends on discipline and hard work and can be painful, but it later produces a harvest of righteousness and pleasure. Changing for what is good, righteous and helpful is a challenge because it requires some thinning out, pruning and discarding. God will be your strength, hope and light as you choose to this transition.