How Does Our Mood Affect What We Say?

The words we say to another person in stressful situations can permanently damage a relationship. Words reflect moods such as happy, joyful, sad, or angry. These feelings are identifiable by the tone of voice and facial expressions.

Mistakes are often accompanied by a mood such as anger or fear. Words spoken carelessly while in a particular mood may reveal what is actually factual but, once spoken, are forever imprinted in the mind of the one who hears.

Regardless of your mood, you are accountable for every word spoken. 

So, it’s not always appropriate to say what we think and feel. While mistakes are forgivable, they can have a permanent, negative impact. Proverbs 10:17 are words for the wise: “People who listen when they are corrected will live, but those who will not admit that they are wrong are on a dangerous pathway.” God’s word is the pathway to life and peace.

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Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

~Psalm 139:23-24 New International Version

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Are We Responsible for Learning from Mistakes?

It is amazing how past mistakes shape what we presently choose. Corrected mistakes can be responsible for choices that paved the way for success and happiness. What ultimately mattered is how accountability influenced a final outcome.

In our society divorce has come to be an acceptable solution for a bad marriage. What’s interesting to note is over 60% of those entering a second marriage fail to make a better choice. Is this a by-product of failing to learn from previous mistakes?

You are responsible for learning from mistakes and applying new knowledge to current situations. How does God feel observing his people making poor choices in the face of unmistakable warning signs? Proverbs 27:12 makes this observation: “Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it, but an unthinking person will walk right into it and later regret it.” 

Listen to the still small voice of God as he speaks to you now.

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Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you – unless, of course, you fail the test?

~2 Corinthians 13:5 New International Version

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How Do We Learn from Past Mistakes?

Have you known someone who refused to take responsibility to do a special task out of fear of making a mistake that they assumed would be unforgivable? Mistakes are a vital component to learning in addition to being a primary source for understanding what to avoid in the future.

Learning from mistakes is linked to accountability, which in turn is connected to maturing throughout life. In the American Civil War of the 1860’s Robert E. Lee, commander of the Southern forces, made a choice that led to his defeat at Gettysburg.

For Lee, it was a lesson too late for learning, but for most people it is not too late to learn from bad choices. 

God promises if you accept accountability, he will give you knowledge and understanding that enable you to change your life’s pathway. Accountability means learning from mistakes, taking responsibility for them, and then applying corrective action to ensure they will not be repeated.  

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Whoever conceals their sins will not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

~Proverbs 28:13 New International Version

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Does God Use Past Mistakes as Guides for the Future?

Making a mistake is unavoidable, yet essential for maturing. Acquiring knowledge takes place in formal education, and experience serves as a valuable learning tool. Accountability acknowledges mistakes and poor judgment and then implements corrections.

Mistakes are forgivable, provided they serve as teaching moments. Each person is accountable for gaining knowledge and being sure that what is learned is valuable. Proverbs 15:31 defines a wise person: “If you pay attention when you are corrected, you are wise”.

Edward Wilson was one of Harvard University’s prestigious professors and known for his research on ants. He accepted criticism by putting into action suggestions from his critics that resulted in his greatest discoveries. Knowledge and wisdom can be late in coming, but where there is dedication to learning, God will  bestow his grace and blessings on that person. 

You can do great things through Christ Jesus who gives you strength and courage to press on toward accomplishing what he sets before you to do.

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Take a lesson from the ants…Learn from their ways and be wise! For though they have no leader or ruler, they store up their food during the summer, getting ready for winter… Listen! Wisdom is calling out. Reason is making [itself known].  

~Proverbs 6:6-8, 8:1 The Living Bible/Good News Bible

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What Are the Consequences for Unacceptable Behavior?

How often have you heard someone say in frustration or despair, “I just want to be myself and be accepted?” In truth, you must restrain the impulse to act with unacceptable behavior and objectionable speech, for this is the pathway to rejection.

Understanding accountability and applying it to yourself is a tremendous task, but the majority of people will in time mature. The message is clear: “You can be yourself but within specified boundaries.”

You have an expressive self that is part of your identity and an internal core that’s also yearning for exposure. Restraining is necessary to prevent unwanted negative consequences. Accountability is certain, so your objective is to please God with your whole self. Proverbs 16:23 offers wise counsel. “Intelligent people think before they speak, so what they say is then more persuasive.” 

In Jesus you have your best example for who you can be and what you can do.

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Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.

~1 Corinthians 4:2 New International Version

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Are Your Expectations Realistic?

The health of a relationship is as dependent on words spoken as it is on actual conduct. There are instances where behavior speaks louder than words. Your behavior gives evidence that words either were spoken in truth or stand as a contradiction to truth and honor.

Character and your identity cannot be separated from the quality of your vocabulary. An old cliché stands in judgment for speaking without thinking. Perhaps you’ve heard it. “Speak in haste and repent in leisure.” So...

Have you regretted speaking in anger or thoughtlessness?

Accepting accountability has positive rewards for those who permit it to guard their lives. Proverbs 2:7 affirms God’s response to those who are committed to being accountable: “He holds victory in store for the upright; He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of the faithful.” What does God expect from you and me?

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Here is the new agreement I, the Lord, will make with my people…. “I will write my laws on their hearts and minds. I will be their God and they will be my people.”

~Jeremiah 31:33 Contemporary English Version

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Does Accountability Include Words Spoken and How We Live?

Accountability is difficult to feel comfortable with because everyone has acted irresponsibly. Who hasn’t spoken disparagingly about another person’s behavior or character when it was unwarranted? It’s amazing what words can be spoken in moments of reckless intent.

It’s frightening to realize we will be held accountable for every word we speak. In Psalm 141:3 David recognized the implications of reckless speech: “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord: keep watch over the door to my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil.”

One of the Ten Commandments specifically states, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor or accuse anyone falsely.” David was aware that he would be held accountable for the words he spoke and for living an honorable life before God. “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” That’s a request God will honor.

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For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 

~2 Corinthians 5:10 New International Version

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