What Is Involved in Healing from Grief?

Unresolved grief related to the loss of a special relationship can be a precursor to depression and other emotional issues. Significant grief is like a dark cloud hanging over your life. Technically, grief is an emotional and physical response to a specific loss.

Grief is composed of several stages including denial, depression, anger, bargaining, and finally acceptance. Deep sorrow generated by grief sometimes creates the need for emotional isolation that’s necessary for healing to occur.

Healing is dependent on taking ownership of grief, which means being available to experience each stage as it occurs.

Blaming God and others is a form of denial. Assuming ownership for grief creates a place for God to extend his strength and comfort to you. Faithfulness to God’s presence clears the way for hope and healing to occur.

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When someone becomes a Christian, he or she becomes a brand-new person inside. [This person] is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!  

~2 Corinthians 5:17 The Living Bible 

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What Is a First Step for Making Character Correction?

A proverb of old states, “Confession is good for the soul.” A contemporary equal could be, “Owning up to embarrassing failures and missteps demonstrates strong character.” It is difficult to prevent lapses in character from contributing to failures.

I missed role call only once when I was in the Air Force. My unit Sergeant came to my barracks to make an inquiry. It was obvious I’d overslept, so I spent the next two week-ends painting offices. I made sure my character would never allow me to oversleep again.

Professing ownership, like confessing, is good for the soul, in that each provides freedom from guilt and cover-ups. Acknowledging ownership is a first step toward making corrections for a lapse in character.

Accountability demonstrates faithfulness for facing future temptations. Proverbs 16: 6 assures us, “Through love and faithfulness, sin is atoned for.” You can trust in God’s promises.        

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When you are guilty, you must confess the sin. 

~Leviticus 5:5 Good News Bible  

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. 

~Proverbs 28:13 New International Version  

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What Command Fulfills God's Word?

Claiming ownership for life’s issues includes assuming responsibility, which demonstrates maturity. Acknowledging ownership signals your ability to accept feelings and values that determine behaviors; these will strengthen or weaken your relationships.

The acknowledgement of others that you are taking responsibility in the face of life’s critical interpersonal challenges is motivation to press onward to tackle God’s plan for yourself. Accountability implies accepting responsibility for what God calls you to be to other people. 

So rejoice in being a source for happiness to others and contributing to their peace of mind. Taking responsibility to care for others overrides the impulse to care only for yourself. Accountability allows the peace and power of Jesus Christ to rule in your heart.

Galatians 5:14 acknowledges “the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” This is God’s way.    

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A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all others will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. 

~John 13:34-35 New International Version 

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What Does It Take for God to Watch Over Your Life?

We cannot be separated from the reality of being accountable for our personal response to daily events. It’s critically important to assume ownership for what happens within the boundaries of our responsibilities, regardless of how they’re defined.

Consider the child who refuses to do homework or neglects to turn in completed work but then blames the teacher for failing grades. When parents also blame the teacher, a lifetime of failing to take ownership for personal choices can be set in motion.

Accountability is dependent on your willingness to take ownership for personal choices. Ownership includes acknowledging responsibility and fault without fabricating rationalizations. God’s word teaches that the “unrighteous are like dust the wind blows away, but the Lord watches over the plans and paths of the godly.” Accountability is choosing God’s way in all you do, and you will surely be blessed. 

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You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone… In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

~Matthew 5:14-16 New International Version 

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Does God Hold Us Accountable for How We Choose to Live?

Claiming ownership can be much more involved and misleading than actually taking possession. It’s somewhat of a misnomer to say we own a house or car when in reality the bank or mortgage company is the owner until the credit contract is paid in full.

The concept of ownership covers an expansive range well beyond physical properties. I heard a proud father of four high achieving adult sons and daughters jokingly say that he knew these were his kids for he had the birth certificates and DNA evidence to prove it.

This father believed he was accountable to God and his children for teaching them values for living. His teachings ensured they would experience some measurable happiness and success. God does hold us accountable for our choices. Taking ownership of success and failure is indicative of maturity, for it communicates you are accountable to God and others for what you do and the choices you make.

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For we all must appear before the judgement seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 

~2 Corinthians 5:10 New International Version 

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Is Maturing As a Christian Within the Realm of Possibility?

Do you desire to be an excellent husband or wife? Has that status eluded you? The prospect for becoming an excellent spouse is crucially linked to knowing and understanding the person to whom you are married, in addition to actually knowing yourself.

How do you get to know another person? The short answer is spending enough time together for personality quirks to become obvious. It’s not a matter of whether flaws exist, but if there is enough patience, love, and tolerance to accept what may never change.

Strengths and weaknesses are often the source for disagreements, but from these, an excellent relationship can be pursued. The Apostle Paul explains how excellence evolves: “Forgetting what is behind and straining for what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me.” 

Paul gives hope and meaning to accountability as he pursues excellence, as you can do.

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But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 

~1 Peter 2:9 New International Version  

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What Is Actually Involved in Maturing As a Christian?

Learning is expansive and never-ending, provided the desire to grow and mature remains active. Dr. Michael DeBakey inferred that watching television was not advantageous to learning because most programming is designed to be entertaining.

I learned the definition for a disciple was to be a learner. Jesus began his ministry by calling disciples.

These men walked and talked with Jesus. They listened to his sermons and observed as he responded to those in need of healing. They listened to his critics. 

Accepting accountability for maturing includes stretching for excellence in your walk with Christ. Listen to the Apostle Paul: “Not that I have already obtained all of this or have been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Jesus took hold of me.” To press on means to actively grow in knowledge to discover the purpose and significance of Christ Jesus coming into your life.

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So we are not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. 

~2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message 

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