Does Accountability Include Words Spoken and How We Live?

Accountability is difficult to feel comfortable with because everyone has acted irresponsibly. Who hasn’t spoken disparagingly about another person’s behavior or character when it was unwarranted? It’s amazing what words can be spoken in moments of reckless intent.

It’s frightening to realize we will be held accountable for every word we speak. In Psalm 141:3 David recognized the implications of reckless speech: “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord: keep watch over the door to my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil.”

One of the Ten Commandments specifically states, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor or accuse anyone falsely.” David was aware that he would be held accountable for the words he spoke and for living an honorable life before God. “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” That’s a request God will honor.

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For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 

~2 Corinthians 5:10 New International Version

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How Do Habits Seize Control?

Habits form slowly but seize control of our lives like iron shackles. William James noted in the Principles of Psychology, “The hell to be endured [in the] hereafter…is no worse than the hell we make for ourselves in this world by habitually fashioning our characters in the wrong way…We are spinning our own fates, good or evil, and never to be undone.” When we realize the power of habits, we are more astute in our choices for good or evil.

            You may not be addicted to alcohol, tobacco or a street drug, but neither was Elvis Presley. He died from abuse of prescription drugs. A bad habit can be anything that causes pain and suffering, like speaking your mind. Someone said, “I say exactly what I think.” So what is missing here?

Listen to Proverbs 10:32: “Godly people speak words that are helpful while the wicked create upheaval and pain.” God’s people make Psalm 19:14 their guide. “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord my Redeemer.” Choose God’s way to be accepted and blessed.  

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And [Jesus] said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

~Mark 7:20-23 English Standard Version

 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

~1 John 1:9 New International Version 

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Communicating with the Golden Rule

All communication reaches out to others for a specific purpose or benefit. Not all communication seeks the wellbeing of others. That's why so much of what is said is critical and negative rather than affirming and positive. When my objective is to build the character and self-esteem of others, then I am following the Golden Rule.

When negative, critical words are directed toward someone to reduce their self-esteem, the consequence should be an uneasy sense of guilt and shame. Communication was given by God to bring joy and pleasure to each person, which in turn ultimately contributes to a sense of belonging and completeness.

Success in relationships depends on a commitment to communicate openly and truthfully. What helps in times of stress is this prayer, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord my God." Communication is indeed a source of joy and wholeness when it’s pleasing to Christ Jesus.

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Then you must practice dealing with others as you would like for them to deal with you; for this is the summing up of the law and the prophets.

~Matthew 7:12 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

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Barriers That Block Effective Communication

An obvious barrier to communication is erecting an emotional wall whenever some aspect of oneself is threatened. In this emotional state a person is capable of withdrawing from any attempt to communicate. Another barrier is regressing into rage to prevent appearing weak and helpless.

Barriers to communication prove to be stumbling blocks for growth and change and are detrimental to a relationship. Mood incompatibility is capable of blocking effective communication, which means being at two distinct levels of emotional intensity. Mood incompatibility can barricade harmony and goodwill.

Another barrier to effective communication is having well-kept secrets that keep others distant and confused about the actual problem. God's word is clear that what is hidden will eventually be exposed. Accept this as God’s encouragement for practicing honesty and openness, which provide hope for experiencing joy and peace in your relationships. 

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Someday everything in men’s hearts shall be brought to light and made plain to all. So be careful how you listen…

~Luke 8:17-18 The Living Bible 

May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to you, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

~Psalm 19:14 The Living Bible

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Words Full of Spite Are Not Right

The fundamental reason for using spiteful language is to discredit others. Spiteful words are loaded with malice and evil. Gossip and slander are examples of spiteful talk that belittles and humiliates those disliked or hated. Remember, God’s word never approves of spiteful language.

Feelings of jealousy are perpetuated by inferiority. Feelings of inferiority give birth to malicious jabs directed toward whomever is considered a threat. When my children were in middle school, spiteful taunts filled with sarcasm were common when speaking to friends and foes alike.

God does not approve of a spiteful attitude, for it does not indicate love for God or oneself. Listen to Psalm 19:14: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and redeemer.” Proverbs 15:28 follows with, “The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking.” God’s way is better.  

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Malice backfires; spite boomerangs.

~Proverbs 26:27 The Message

Have done, then, with all evil and deceit, all pretense and jealousy and slander.  

~1 Peter 2:1 Phillips – The New Testament in Modern English

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Communication: A Bridge to Understanding

By the time an infant is 18 months old, he or she has begun to utter words that indicate they are in fact learning to communicate. Parents and siblings teach and encourage infants and toddlers their language development. By the age of five a child has basically learned to communicate effectively and in so doing gets most of his or her needs met.

Learning to communicate continues for life and becomes the means for happiness and contentment. Good communication builds a bridge for understanding oneself and others. When children see the world as safe and accepting, healthy self-confidence is established, a necessity for effective communication. 

Our expectations and intelligence are crucial for conveying conviction to what is communicated. The Lord God has given us this magnificent system of communicating to magnify our happiness and well-being. Communion with God is amplified as we offer him praise and thanksgiving for wonderful things he provides.  

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May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be acceptable to even you, O Lord my Rock and Redeemer.  

~Psalm 19:14 The Living Bible

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