Does Exposure of Secrets Free the Heart and Soul?

Since the beginning of creation God’s mysteries and secrets have continued to be revealed, including how each person is in so many ways a profound mystery. Deuteronomy 29:29 reminds us that God shares his secrets. “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and our children forever.”

Secret-keeping is a human trait that can be a blessing or a tragedy. Children who have a best friend love to share secrets. These harmless secrets may bond their friendship for life. However, some secrets become a prescription for self-defeating behaviors or even disaster.

Secrets that become heavy on the heart and soul may invariably interfere with achieving God’s intended purpose. The remedy for self-defeating secrets is to confess them to God or a trusted friend. Exposure to the cleansing light of Jesus Christ destroys the dark power of secrets that creates separation from God and others.  

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Whatever is hidden away will be brought out into the open, and what is covered up will be found and brought to light.

~Luke 8:17 Good News Bible

But if we live in the light – just as he is in the light – then we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from every sin.

~1 John 1:7  Good News Bible

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Barriers That Block Effective Communication

An obvious barrier to communication is erecting an emotional wall whenever some aspect of oneself is threatened. In this emotional state a person is capable of withdrawing from any attempt to communicate. Another barrier is regressing into rage to prevent appearing weak and helpless.

Barriers to communication prove to be stumbling blocks for growth and change and are detrimental to a relationship. Mood incompatibility is capable of blocking effective communication, which means being at two distinct levels of emotional intensity. Mood incompatibility can barricade harmony and goodwill.

Another barrier to effective communication is having well-kept secrets that keep others distant and confused about the actual problem. God's word is clear that what is hidden will eventually be exposed. Accept this as God’s encouragement for practicing honesty and openness, which provide hope for experiencing joy and peace in your relationships. 

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Someday everything in men’s hearts shall be brought to light and made plain to all. So be careful how you listen…

~Luke 8:17-18 The Living Bible 

May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to you, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

~Psalm 19:14 The Living Bible

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The Tragedy of Self-Deception

What lies at the core of self-deception? Usually it includes a desire for something that is unacceptable. Self-deception is comparable to experimenting with drugs and convincing oneself that getting hooked will not happen. Conventional wisdom declares, "If you play with fire, you’ll get burned." Self-deception's reply is, “Not me! I'm too smart."

 

Self-deception refuses to accept reality. A man or a woman agrees to an affair by being convinced it can be hidden and kept secret. A worse rationale is, "I’ll be able to handle it by extinguishing the fire if I get caught and convince others it didn’t mean anything." Some believe guilt and shame will be powerless and of no consequence.

The tragedy of self-deception is, it shuts down a part of you that is necessary to happiness and peace. It suffocates the potential for healthy relationship by closing down trust and truthfulness. Self-deception refuses to believe that God has a better plan, which is openness and honesty. Ask God to help you and he will. 

 

Self-Respect in the Family: Hannah to Samuel - Part 3

Samuel was a man of loyalty who served Israel as a judge and priest. Near the end of his tenure the people decided they wanted a king to rule over them. Reading Samuel’s letter of resignation, I can’t help but detect sadness, hurt feelings and anger, although God assured Samuel he was not the object of their rejection.

Rejection should not diminish self-respect because it doesn’t depend on everyone loving or liking you. Self-respect is not contingent upon success or failure when integrity and honor determine a person’s choices and goals. People with self-respect are less prone to secret-keeping, guilt, regret and stress.

Samuel believed God directed his life, and he lived within the boundaries of God’s purpose for him. That doesn’t eliminate hurt feelings or grief over being rejected or displaced, yet it includes being able to flow with God’s will. Self-respect occurs when you know, and God knows, you’ve done your best and you’re satisfied with it.  

Poor Choices Produce Painful Consequences - Part 1

Everyone has stood at a crossroads and made choices they regretted. It's at this juncture where decisions may appear overwhelming. A helicopter pilot misjudged a critical situation that preventing him from rescuing a soldier who was consequently killed by enemy fire. The pilot’s self-image began to decline due to guilt for not analyzing the situation correctly.

Listen to his own condemnation. "Not a day goes by that I do not think about the soldier I let die." Compounding his torment was his refusal to share the experience with those who loved him. The only other person who knew what happened was the co-pilot of the helicopter. Secret-keeping results in self-incrimination and secret suffering.

It is possible to make amends for our poor judgment, horrible mistakes, and selfish, sinful acts against others. Jesus instruct us to go to those people and make things right, whatever is required. Where this cannot be done, confess your fallibility and sinful weaknesses to Christ Jesus. Then seek his forgiveness and comfort. This is the beginning of healing for your soul.