The Penalties for Favoritism

With so much resentment and anger building up in the family, a crisis was imminent and would yield severe repercussions. Unresolved anger is dangerous since it doesn’t remain static but evolves into hatred.  Compassion and understanding diminish as deep-seated animosity forms to harden the heart. 

  

Joseph’s brothers were waiting for an opportunity to get revenge for Joseph’s flaunting his position as favorite son of their father. Joseph was special because his mother Rachel was the soulmate and love of Jacob’s life. Favoritism is inexcusable because it generates hatred and envy to the point of becoming explosive.

Hatred is dangerous because it can become lethal when projected onto others. The good news is that hatred can be neutralized by sincerely asking God to bless the one who is the object of your hatred. In your clearest, most distinct, audible voice, continuously ask God to bless the one you hate. God will cause hatred to dissolve so you can praise and thank him for the freedom you now possess.  

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“But I say to you who listen now to me, practice loving your enemies, practice doing good to those who hate you, continue to bless those who curse you, and continue to pray for those who abuse you.”

~LUKE 6:27-28 Williams

Favoritism: Creator of Jealousy and Envy

As it became obvious that Joseph was Jacob’s favorite son, the older boys’ hatred for Joseph and their father intensified. To make matters worse, Joseph shared his dreams of supremacy with his brothers. These dreams caused the brothers’ hatred and envy to escalate since they believed dreams foretold the future. 

 

Listen as Joseph taunted his brothers with his dream. "We were binding bundles of grain in the field when suddenly my bundles stood up while yours gathered around mine and bowed down to them." Imagine the brothers’ feelings when they asked, “So, do you intend to rule us?" Joseph fueled the fire of hatred by telling other similar dreams.

When Jacob gave Joseph a beautiful coat, his brothers resented the place of privilege Joseph enjoyed with their father. They coveted the love and affection Joseph received from Jacob. As we consider our relationship with God our Father, it’s important to believe God does not discriminate. His love is unfailing and is extended to everyone regardless of place or position. 

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Now as it happened, Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other children, because Joseph was born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob gave him a special gift – a brightly colored coat.

~GENESIS 37:3 The Living Bible

God doesn’t have any favorites!

~ROMANS 2:11 Contemporary English Version

The Awful Truth of Favoritism

Jacob was his mother’s favorite son, so he set up the same system with Joseph, his firstborn son with Rachel. The favoritism Jacob felt is stated in Genesis 37:3: “Now Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other sons and made him a beautiful ornate coat.” Jacob’s prejudice caused hatred and resentment to intensify between Joseph and his brothers. Hatred and resentment nourished by envy give rise to strife and alienation. 

Try to imagine parents today giving their youngest son or daughter an expensive sports car after passing down used family sedans to their older children. This favorite son or daughter is given credit cards while the older children work to pay for gas, insurance and repairs. 

Displaying favoritism hurts everyone. The favorite child often suffers from being indulged. If this child has a conscience, guilt will be an issue because he or she knows it isn't right. Parents have the responsibility to love their children with impartiality. God is impartial with us, so parents are summoned to follow his example.

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Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction.

~EPHESIANS 6:4 Good News Bible

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.

~JAMES 2:8-9 New International Version

Playing Favorites

When Jacob returned to his homeland, he arrived with a new name that reflected an encounter with God. Rachel, the wife he dearly loved, died after giving birth to Benjamin. She had prayed for a second son, so Joseph could have a full brother. Jacob had twelve other children, so Benjamin was born when he was past sixty years of age.

However, it was Joseph, his first-born son with Rachel, who became his favorite. Genesis 37:3 explains: "Now Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other sons because he had been born in his old age."  Favoritism exposes a special bonding between parent and child but can create resentment and hatred in the other siblings.

The negative fallout for the favored child may be a lack of maturity in relating to others. Joseph either was unable to detect the anger in his older brothers or simply flaunted his status as the favorite son. God's love is unconditional and excludes favoritism. He expects us to be a model of his character.  

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Peter fairly exploded with his good news: “It’s God’s own truth, nothing could be plainer: God plays no favorites! It makes no difference who you are or where you’re from – if you want God and are ready to do as he says, the door is open.

~ACTS 10:34-35 The Message

My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism.

~JAMES 2:1 New International Version

Deliverance from Trouble

Trouble has the capacity to upset our emotional and physical equilibrium. Tolerating suffering that originates from trouble is not an easy task. The Greek philosopher Seneca confirmed that "our troubles may originate from behaviors that invite trouble." This implies that our attitudes and behaviors can open the door to trouble.

God's purpose for Jacob was to transform him into a person epitomizing God’s transformation. Continuous trouble persuaded Jacob to return to Bethel, where God first spoke to him in a dream twenty years earlier. God renewed his covenant to bless Jacob as he was being transformed into the man God intended. The Apostle Paul teaches that "we are daily being transformed into the likeness of Christ Jesus.”

Transformation doesn’t shield us from trouble. Psalm 34:19 certifies that "a righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all." God will give us strength to change old attitudes that are an invitation to trouble. Thank God for his goodness and mercy. 
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Nothing between us and God,...our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him. 
~2 CORINTHIANS 3:18 The Message Study Bible
      Sidebar: ...if we're exposed to Christ, our lives are changed. The change is a result of our relationship with him. By opening ourselves to him, we come under his influence and are changed into his likeness,...from one level of maturity to another...
Eugene H. Peterson, The Message Study Bible, page 1803

Pursued by Troubles?

It seemed as if he were always looking over his shoulder for trouble that consistently pursued him. Minor troubles weren’t what plagued him, but major ones that threatened his very existence. Jacob’s attitude toward life was an open invitation to trouble even after God personally changed his name to Israel, which means "one who wrestled with God and prevailed."

Jacob's transformation was a progressive development. The Apostle Paul warns us "not to conform any longer to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of our mind." This indicates that transformation is an on-going process and does not prevent trouble from pursuing us.

Perhaps God uses troubles we must endure to bring to the surface hidden possibilities that lie dormant within us. Oliver Wendell Holmes was fond of saying, "Troubles create a competence for managing them." It is God's will that we mature and grow strong in faith, so we can serve Him and His church in a hostile world. God gives us strength to overcome and be victorious.
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Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you. 
~ROMANS 12:2 The Living Bible

Face Your Troubles ~ God Will Help

Trouble followed Jacob like a faithful companion. I'm sure he could identify with Job’s assessment of "man being born for trouble as surely as sparks from fire fly upward." He had just settled in at Shechem when a young man raped his daughter Dinah. Jacob’s sons avenged the rape by murdering the perpetrator and other adult men in the community.

C. S. Lewis noted that "God, who foresees your troubles, intends for you to accept them and the accompanying pain." Understand that pain and suffering are agents for enhancing maturity whereas running away from trouble prevents growth and maturity. Our self-esteem is enriched by facing trouble head on.

          Trouble in this life is predictable, but how we manage it determines the outcome. Trouble overflowed in Jacob’s life because of his choices. Seeking God’s help when facing trouble is a necessity. Faith encourages you to believe God not only listens but answers your prayers. This can be your confidence as you trust in God to help.
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God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not be afraid... ~PSALM 46:1-2a  Good News Bible

From Wind to Whirlwind

Seeking revenge is comparable to sowing the wind only to reap the whirlwind. A Filipino proverb argues, “They who sow the wind will reap the typhoon”. The compulsion to get revenge may not take into consideration the possibility of a backlash, as in sudden acts of violence being hurled back in a tit-for-tat show of strength.

 

When the sons of Jacob reacted to the rape of their sister by murdering everyone they deemed responsible, they never considered the effect it would have on their father. Jacob was overcome by fear and fled the country because he expected retaliation. He knew revenge does not remain un-revenged.

When we've been hurt, God intends for us to act with mercy. God wants us to trust him to act appropriately, which means he will do what is just, but with mercy. Sir Thomas Elliott warned that if mercy is missing in us, all other virtues will be stifled. Think about that for a minute. Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.”
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But you, O Lord, are a merciful and loving God, always patient, always kind and faithful. Turn to me and have mercy on me; strengthen me and save me...
~PSALM 86:15-16 Good News Bible

Mercy Trumps Justice

There’s something about human nature that calls out for justice to be administered to those who cause suffering. When Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, was raped, her brothers murdered the perpetrator, his father and other adult males in the village. Dinah’s brothers did not want justice. They wanted revenge.

God is never active in helping people get revenge because He is a God of justice and, as such, expects us to seek justice because revenge does not consider mercy or forgiveness. What Dinah’s brothers failed to do was to let justice take its course. They did not realize God’s approach to justice perfectly matches the crime.

It’s important to appreciate that God will use whatever method he deems necessary to see that justice is administered. God wants us to understand and accept that "there is no true justice unless mercy is a part of it." We must “let our love for justice be exceeded only by our love of mercy." If God had not shown us mercy, where would we be?
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The Lord has told us what is right and what he demands: "See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and humbly obey your God." 
~MICAH 6:8  Holy Bible - Contemporary English Version

You will be judged on whether or not you are doing what Christ wants you to. So watch what you do and what you think. But if you have been merciful, then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you. 
~JAMES 2:12-13 The Living Bible 

Revenge Is Evil ~ God's Way Is Best

Getting through life without being hurt is impossible. It happens when someone we trust acts out in ways to hurt our feelings. Even if unintentional, the damage to trust can be long-lasting. Two initial responses to being hurt are to pretend everything is fine or to punish the offender by seeking revenge.

Jacob’s sons took the revenge approach when a man from their neighborhood raped their sister Dinah. They plotted to annihilate anyone remotely responsible for this crime. Revenge includes a calculating mindset encased in hatred or rage with little consideration of repercussions, including how others who were not involved would be affected.

          Whether we internalize pain or plan revenge, neither will dissolve the hurt we feel. God is not pleased with revenge as payment for hurtful behavior. Although God does not respond on our time schedule, he ultimately brings justice in his time and in his way. God’s desire is for us to trust him to do what is right and beneficial.
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Don't take revenge, dear friends, but let God punish, because the Bible says, "I alone have the right to avenge. I will pay back," says the Lord. 
~ROMANS 12:19 Beck - New Testament in the Language of Today

Bridge to Self-Destruction

Most distractions can be insignificant, but major distractions can have major repercussions. When Shechem saw Dinah, the teenage daughter of Jacob, he was saturated with lust. Instead of redirecting his sexual energy, he gave his impulses full reign and proceeded to rape her.

 

Shechem allowed greed and lustful thoughts to have complete control and committed a terrible sin. Too late he realized there was more to Dinah than her sexual appeal. He permitted a destructive impulse to build a bridge of destruction to himself, his family and friends.

Dinah's brothers demanded revenge, so they created a trap of deception that permitted them to murder Shechem, his father and brothers. The entire population of the community was tainted by Shechem’s indiscretions. It’s important to accept the long-term penalties for submitting to distractions. We can do so by permitting the Holy Spirit to empower us with purpose and determination to stay true to God’s spiritual and social boundaries. 

Evil Distractions? Impulse Control Imperative!

Uncontrollable impulses and urges build a bridge to disaster and destruction. The apostle Paul warned against submitting to distractions that are unacceptable to God. He explicitly instructs us to "put to death sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed.” When the young man Shechem met teenage Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob, he became so out of control with lust and evil thoughts that he raped her.

Becoming distracted happens to everyone at some level, but it’s imperative to exercise impulse control when tempted by evil distractions. However, Shechem gave free reign to his impulsive thoughts and desires and, in doing so, committed a grievous crime.

After raping Dinah, he realized his sinful distractions would have unimaginable painful consequences. Permitting Christ Jesus to have a place of prominence in your thoughts and feelings for others will give you power for effectively managing evil impulses, regardless of their significance. "Greater is Christ Jesus who is in you than Satan who is in the world." 

Escape Temptation's Grasp

It seemed rather innocent, but who could have imagined the turn of events that would have such lasting consequences for a family? A young teenage woman, a newcomer to town, went for a walk in the neighborhood. Like other teenagers, I'm sure she yearned for friendships with other young people her age.

 

Before the afternoon was over, a young man from the neighborhood had raped Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob. The man who raped her was not a local gang member or street thug, but a member of a prominent family in the community. As a matter of fact, his name was Shechem, the name of town where they lived, which confirmed his prominence.

Shechem discarded all social and spiritual boundaries that would have prevented him from sexually assaulting Dinah. Even in the presence of highly charged emotional impulses, God provides warning signs to diffuse all impulses that lead to sin and shame. God always supplies an escape from the grasp of deadly temptation, and he will do so for you.