The Healing Force of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful healing forces mankind has the privilege of choosing. So, what prevents us from choosing forgiveness rather than bitterness or rage? If vengeance were cleansed from your emotions, you would then have to face the fact of pain and loss created by choices made by you or others.

A woman approaching her sixtieth birthday had divorced her husband thirty years earlier. Although remarried for twenty of those years, the woman’s anger and bitterness directed toward her first husband still surfaces with the slightest provocation. Consequently, an ever-present struggle with bouts of depression robs her of happiness and peace.

Divorce is difficult to forgive. One of the most perplexing steps in forgiveness is asking God to help you view someone as the Lord Jesus views him or her. Jesus came to seek and save the lost, so he sees everyone as worthy of forgiveness. Forgiving others is for your benefit as much as it is for the one who hurt you so deeply.

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Never take vengeance into your own hands, my friends; stand back and let God punish if he will. For it is written: “Vengeance belongs unto me; I will recompense,” says the Lord.

~Romans 12:19 Phillips – The New Testament in Modern English

The Lord Almighty says, “The day is coming when all proud and evil people will burn like straw. On that day they will burn up, and there will be nothing left of them. But for you who obey me, my saving power will rise on you like the sun and bring healing like the sun’s rays. You will be as free and happy as calves let out of a stall.”

~Malachi 4:1-2 Good News Bible

Mercy Trumps Justice

There’s something about human nature that calls out for justice to be administered to those who cause suffering. When Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, was raped, her brothers murdered the perpetrator, his father and other adult males in the village. Dinah’s brothers did not want justice. They wanted revenge.

God is never active in helping people get revenge because He is a God of justice and, as such, expects us to seek justice because revenge does not consider mercy or forgiveness. What Dinah’s brothers failed to do was to let justice take its course. They did not realize God’s approach to justice perfectly matches the crime.

It’s important to appreciate that God will use whatever method he deems necessary to see that justice is administered. God wants us to understand and accept that "there is no true justice unless mercy is a part of it." We must “let our love for justice be exceeded only by our love of mercy." If God had not shown us mercy, where would we be?
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The Lord has told us what is right and what he demands: "See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and humbly obey your God." 
~MICAH 6:8  Holy Bible - Contemporary English Version

You will be judged on whether or not you are doing what Christ wants you to. So watch what you do and what you think. But if you have been merciful, then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you. 
~JAMES 2:12-13 The Living Bible 

Revenge Is Evil ~ God's Way Is Best

Getting through life without being hurt is impossible. It happens when someone we trust acts out in ways to hurt our feelings. Even if unintentional, the damage to trust can be long-lasting. Two initial responses to being hurt are to pretend everything is fine or to punish the offender by seeking revenge.

Jacob’s sons took the revenge approach when a man from their neighborhood raped their sister Dinah. They plotted to annihilate anyone remotely responsible for this crime. Revenge includes a calculating mindset encased in hatred or rage with little consideration of repercussions, including how others who were not involved would be affected.

          Whether we internalize pain or plan revenge, neither will dissolve the hurt we feel. God is not pleased with revenge as payment for hurtful behavior. Although God does not respond on our time schedule, he ultimately brings justice in his time and in his way. God’s desire is for us to trust him to do what is right and beneficial.
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Don't take revenge, dear friends, but let God punish, because the Bible says, "I alone have the right to avenge. I will pay back," says the Lord. 
~ROMANS 12:19 Beck - New Testament in the Language of Today

A Volcano from Strife and Hatred

Strife and hatred conjoin to form a strong bond locked in aggravation and conflict. Hatred may not be expressed outwardly, but kept suppressed inside the mind, body and spirit. Hatred produces inward striving against one’s values and peace of mind until the pressures from living set off a behavioral eruption.

 

 Hatred may be so controlled that it’s expressed only to oneself in imagined conversations and actions. When hatred is expressed outwardly, it may be restricted to issues totally separate from what caused the hatred. Parents, children, finances, or any number of reasons from childhood onward may be the actual cause of the hatred.

           If you feel hatred at this moment, ask yourself, “What caused the hatred I feel?” It’s time to it let go by turning it over to the Lord Jesus Christ to redeem because hatred is destructive, and you cannot be the person God intended while striving against others and yourself. Repent and do whatever it takes to turn it over to God right now.

Get Rid of Hate

Both love and hate have been characterized as pleasurable. You may agree that love is pleasurable, but not hate. Hate may be pleasurable when imagined conversations give you dominance over others. Perhaps hate is pleasurable by giving the possessor power and control when faced with difficult situations. 

While hate may be pleasurable in an unhealthy sense, is it productive? When hate is directed toward others, it cannot be productive from God’s viewpoint. Keeping hatred suppressed may cause sleepless nights or acute anxiety because of its association with fear and guilt.

         

Get rid of hate by realizing hatred is undesirable. Decide to give it up by asking God to forgive you. Believe God’s word: “Vengeance is mine, I will repay says the Lord.” Accept God’s way as a better way to manage relationships. Seek professional help for letting go of anger and hatred so inner peace can be achieved. Determine to be a peacemaker so you can be blessed by God. 

Let It Go – Let God Repay

Jealousy interferes with the capacity to think logically, for its motives are wrong and sinful. Rachel desperately wanted children, so she gave her maidservant Bilhah to her husband Jacob as a surrogate wife to have children in her place. In the strictest sense, this was permissible according to the ethics of the day. Spiritually, it was not acceptable because anger and jealousy existed in Rachel’s heart for her sister Leah.

Rachel wanted to get even with Leah, so when Bilhah conceived and gave birth to two sons, Rachel proclaimed God had heard her plea. However, when jealousy is the motivating factor behind any behavior, God does not approve.

Jealousy overrules love and logic. If jealousy is occupying a place in your heart, let it go by asking God to bless the person that’s the object of the jealousy. This is how you turn it over to God. He emphatically states: "Vengeance is mine. I will repay." Believe God and trust Him.

Critical Choices & Long-range Consequences - Part 3

Life is like time, always in transition and always moving forward rather than standing still. Yet there are circumstances that seem to contradict this reality. I read an article about a mother and father whose adult son was murdered a decade earlier. This loss was so devastating that healing had not taken place, even after a decade of grief.

Most of us may never experience such desolation, yet we will face our own crossroads experiences. Lack of vengeance does not imply forgiveness has taken place, but it gives credence to the fact that forgiveness is difficult to achieve. All of us need to be forgiven by those we've hurt just as we need to forgive those who have offended us.

Vengeance can be acted out passively by withdrawing from the offending person and internalizing the pain. God's word has two specific reminders for us. "'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord," and "Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." Crossroads choices can bring about healing for you and others. 

Choosing at the Crossroads - Part 2

Life is progressively in transition, moving forward rather than standing still. We often find ourselves at a crossroads where pressure nudges us to make a decision to keep moving in some direction. Consider the mother and father whose adult son had been murdered. It is still devastating for them to remember, after a decade of grief, because healing may progress very slowly.

Forgiveness was extended to the killer, but discontent lingers even though the murderer received the death sentence. Forgiveness can be difficult when perpetrators refuse to seek forgiveness for the pain they've inflicted. Christians need to pursue forgiveness for having hurt others as well as to forgive those who have hurt and offended them.

Vengeance will neither satisfy nor hasten healing. God's word has specific instructions for managing revenge. First, turn it over to him. "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord." Another directive is, "Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." Life at the crossroads offers choices that can bring healing and goodness to you and others.