What Draws People Closer in a Relationship?

Whatever shapes a relationship and determines its success or failure is directly attributed to words that are spoken in conjunction with a positive or negative mood. It’s possible to temporarily disguise feelings and thoughts, but eventually and predictably, the truth will be revealed.

Some people would never disguise their thoughts or mood even as they realize these thoughts and feelings, if expressed, would damage the relationship. While this approach hides dangerous pent-up emotions, they contribute to a sad, depressed mood that pushes people away.

Conversely, feelings which are joyful, confident, and peaceful exemplify a mood of contentment that draws people closer to each other. 

In life we have a choice of being a peacemaker or an alienator, to expect and live with hope for the future or become engulfed in negative thoughts and moods. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called God’s own people.” What a blessed position to share with those you love!           

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Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

~1 Thessalonians 5:16 New International Version

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What Happens When Forgiveness Isn't Permitted Expression?

Most parents teach their children to refrain from holding grudges against their siblings or friends, but letting go of hurt feelings is difficult. A grudge is similar to resentment and bitterness. Suppressing these feelings prevents reconciliation from taking place.

Reliving past injuries happens when acceptable solutions remain out of bounds. In truth, most individuals seek compensation from those who inflict physical or emotional harm by demanding their contrition, apologies, or that they make amends.

If a resolution seems impossible, then internalizing anger, disappointment, and sadness is inevitable. This leads periodically to reliving the past. God does not intend for his people to hold grudges, for they are the pathway to diminished happiness. 

Forgiving others makes it possible for God to create in you a clean heart. This is possible with God’s help and your permission. “Blessed are the peacemakers. God will call them his children.”                   

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But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

~Isaiah 53:5 New International Version

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What's the Purpose of Healthy, Productive Anger?

A state of anger exists when individuals embrace indiscriminate power to hurt and alienate those who should be loved and respected. When anger is turned loose in an emotionally charged setting, the objective is to damage those responsible for the problems.

For some, this defines justifiable anger, but it comes from a person who’s determined to protect and defend their vulnerable self. For that person, anger is now rationalized as an offensive measure designed to get even by means of punishment. Anger and punishment then embrace each other as allies.

Healthy, productive anger management, however, determines to use this powerful emotion for creating solutions for all involved. Listen to Psalm 85:10: “Love and faithfulness will meet; righteousness and peace will embrace. Human loyalty will reach up from the earth, and God’s righteousness will reach down from heaven” to those who determine to be peacemakers. Will you? 

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A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. ...God doesn’t miss a thing – he’s alert to good and evil alike. Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

~Proverbs 15:1,3-4 The Message

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God's Gift: Peacemaking in the Presence of Discord

Why is Jesus called the Prince of Peace? Jesus is the Prince of Peace because through him we have peace with God. The name Prince of Peace means “one who removes all peace-disturbing factors and secures peace for us.” Luke 2:14 gives this declaration: “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will toward men.”

As we take notice of the world around us, peace seems unattainable. Yet God calls us to be peacemakers, for “blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God.” So be kind to everyone, and the peace of God will be your gift as a peacemaker. Merry Christmas and God bless you!    

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God’s Kingdom consists of God’s approval and peace, as well as the joy that the Holy Spirit gives. The person who serves Christ with this in mind is pleasing to God and respected by people. So let’s pursue those things which bring peace and which are good for each other.

~Romans 14:17-19 God’s Word Translation

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On Wednesday, December 21 through Christmas Day, blogs will be posted each day to coincide with KHCB radio's special music and short devotional programming, "Five Days of Christmas". 

Challenges to Our Peace

It's difficult to maintain a sense of peace, no matter how perfect our personal space happens to be. We grow and change during each phase of life, so we often yearn for something new and challenging. God made it possible for change to occur throughout our lives, even when it disrupts our daily status quo.

We learn by living that peace is fragile in relationships and within ourselves. Winning an argument or gaining control doesn’t guarantee peace and contentment. Peace may never be achieved when pride and contempt are allowed to dominate.

If this is your situation, consider what Jesus said in Matthew 5:9. "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God." A name for God is Jehovah Shalom, “the Lord is peace.”  How do you obtain his peace? This is his promise: "If you walk in my statutes and keep them, ... I will bless you with peace." Having peace with God, others, and oneself is a treasure of great worth.  

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 So now, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith in his promises, we can have real peace with him because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.

~Romans 5:1 The Living Bible

 

May the Lord himself, who is our source of peace, give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with you all.

~2 Thessalonians 3:16 Good News Bible

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Mastering Attitudes – Making Peace

If you were to construct a definition of happiness, what would you include? Would your definition include only what you’ve experienced or what you would like to experience? It's difficult to admit the role we play in creating our own unhappiness, so we blame others for our despair. What about believing we bear no responsibility for someone else’s happiness?

What contributes to an overall sense of happiness is being able to have mastery over the good and bad events we experience. Mastery does not rule out what is unpredictable or uncontrollable but does embrace managing one's life so that the effects of unhappy events can be limited.

Happiness derives from learning how to sidestep negative situations. At this level of awareness and insight, we realize attitudes and behaviors can be changed. With anger and blaming diminished, making peace can become a reality. "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons and daughters of God." What a wonderful blessing Jesus has secured for you. 

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Happy are those who work for peace; God will call them his children!

~Matthew 5:9 Good News Bible

So then we eagerly go after the things which mean peace and by which we help one another grow. 
~Romans 14:19 Beck – New  Testament in the Language of Today

Turn away from evil and do good; strive for peace with all your heart.
~Psalm 34:14 Good News Bible

Don't Allow Negatives to Veto Positives

A life-long task human beings face is learning to manage conflict with others as well as internal struggles that can disrupt happiness and peace. Conflict, regardless of its origin, affects your body, mind and spiritual well-being. Conflict is fatiguing when resolutions that promise peace are continually rejected.

Mismanaged conflict lies at the core of emotional distress that’s fueled by hurt feelings, anger and anxiety. These feelings trigger reactive thinking and behavior that undermine attempts at problem solving and securing peace. We bring forward into the present time inner distress experienced from troubled relationships.

Securing inner peace in the midst of conflict is possible by refusing to permit negative emotions to veto resolutions. Peace is a choice and possible when acceptable resolutions are inaugurated. It’s important to remember the Lord God honors those who are peacemakers. They are called sons and daughters of God. 

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Deceit fills hearts that are plotting evil; joy fills hearts that are planning peace!  

~Proverbs 12:20 New Living Translation

Try to live at peace with everyone! Live a clean life. If you don’t, you will never see the Lord.

~Hebrews 12:14 Contemporary English Version

Making Peace with Yourself

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus addressed the issue of moral and spiritual responsibility with a call to righteous and ethical living. Knowing conflict is unavoidable, Jesus presented an alternative in Matthew 5:9 by stating, "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God." 

The opposite of peace is chaos, turmoil and confusion brought on by envy, jealousy and hatred. Jesus challenges every believer to be a peacemaker even when the task seems overwhelming. Diane Katz in her book, Making Peace with Yourself and Others, believes you must first make peace with yourself before branching out to others.

When Hezekiah, king of Judah, was about thirty-seven years old, he became so sick, death seemed imminent. Isaiah the prophet came to his bedside and advised him to "get his house in order" by making peace with himself and God. Making peace is accomplished by confessing to God every sin, followed by repenting and making amends. Now go and correct whatever is wrong in your life.  

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Happy are those whose sins are forgiven, whose wrongs are pardoned.

When I did not confess my sins, I was worn out from crying all day long.

Then I confessed my sins to you; I did not conceal my wrongdoings.

I decided to confess them to you, and you forgave all my sins.

~Psalms 32:1,3,5 Good News Bible

Jesus: “I have told you these things, that you through union with me may have peace. In the world you have trouble; but be courageous! I have conquered the world.”

John 16:33 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

Keep Crisis Out of Conflict: Confront

Some conflict in life is inevitable and necessary, for without conflict and struggle, relationships could become stagnant and sluggish. However, unresolved conflict can cause trouble when anger accumulates instead of diminishes. In addition, unattended conflict tends to create unhealthy levels of anxiety.

In 1776 Thomas Paine wrote in The American Crisis, "These are the times that try men's souls." Crisis created by unresolved conflict will test every fiber that holds a relationship together. Surprisingly, conflicts that often do the most damage are those which are left unattended because of fear and dread.

Thomas Paine also said: “Conflict, like Hell, is not easily conquered.” Jesus never flinched when confronting evil or unhealthy people. He never denied that his message or mission angered important leaders. Jesus cared enough to confront, so herein lies your challenge. Do you care enough to confront that which is unhealthy in your relationships?  

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If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him – work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend.

~Matthew 18:15 The Message

You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

~Matthew 5:9 The Message

Faith's Priority ~ 2020 Vision of God's Peace

With so much contentiousness in our country promoted by political parties and the media turmoil, what should be a faith priority of every Christian who inhabits our country? A priority has an urgency about it to be understood and abided by because of the importance attached to its purpose.

Faith’s priority goes straight to what Jesus encourages us to do, and that is to be peacemakers. To be a peacemaker when so many clamor for their way, regardless of the cost to the majority who make up society, is – I admit – difficult or even scary to do. Yet God calls the peacemakers his children.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers,” but how can you do it and not be identified as someone out of the loop with your crowd? Peace has to be faith’s priority wherever you are. You do this by speaking God’s word, his scriptures, and not by yelling out your opinion, not by engaging in arguments that cannot be resolved. “A soft answer turns away wrath.”  Happy New Year!  

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God blesses those people who make peace. They will be called his children!

~Matthew 5:9 Contemporary English Version

And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness.

~James 3:18 The Living Bible

Get Rid of Hate

Both love and hate have been characterized as pleasurable. You may agree that love is pleasurable, but not hate. Hate may be pleasurable when imagined conversations give you dominance over others. Perhaps hate is pleasurable by giving the possessor power and control when faced with difficult situations. 

While hate may be pleasurable in an unhealthy sense, is it productive? When hate is directed toward others, it cannot be productive from God’s viewpoint. Keeping hatred suppressed may cause sleepless nights or acute anxiety because of its association with fear and guilt.

         

Get rid of hate by realizing hatred is undesirable. Decide to give it up by asking God to forgive you. Believe God’s word: “Vengeance is mine, I will repay says the Lord.” Accept God’s way as a better way to manage relationships. Seek professional help for letting go of anger and hatred so inner peace can be achieved. Determine to be a peacemaker so you can be blessed by God. 

Change Is Coming...Embrace It! - Part 1

That pollution creates health problems is undeniable. While many world nations take steps to clean up the environment, others continue with disregard to pollute it. In same way, we pollute our mind and body with unhealthy habits, thinking patterns and relationships that transform us into something undesirable and out of compliance with God’s plan for us.

By our own choices combined with undesirable attitudes, we can be transformed into something unacceptable to God. For instance, permitting an attitude of anger to possess us can evolve into developing bitterness, hatred, major depression and unacceptable behaviors. Anger should not have control over our lives.

The desire for change and peace must come from within by the work of the Holy Spirit, whom we invited into our heart and soul. Peace can be achieved by being committed to this promise from Jesus: “Blessed are those who strive for peace because God calls them his children.” With empowerment from God himself, all things are possible.