What Gives a Gentle Voice Power?

Anger is most often attributed to someone or something beyond ourselves instead of accepting that its source lies within us. Susan discovered that the cleaners had misplaced or lost her clothes once again. For the first time, she did not go into a fit of rage, threatening to make the owner pay.

Anger is a defensive response but often is acted out aggressively. Losing her clothes meant Susan must wear either casual or dressy clothes to work, which would attract the negative attention of her supervisor. Susan’s only option was to tell the truth and express regret for what was beyond her control.

Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that a gentle voice turns away wrath in others and within oneself. The manager of the cleaners agreed to replace her clothes if they could not immediately be found. God’s way ultimately produces positive results, so let the peace of God rule in your heart and mind and be thankful you have this wonderful power within you.

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A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath, but harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger.

~Proverbs 15:1 Amplified Bible 

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Fighting Words Aren't Wise Words

I’m consistently reminded how quickly children learn to defend their possessions. This demonstrates their first primitive act of setting boundaries. During the toddler stage, children use imperatives such as, "No!" “Stop!” and "That's mine!"  They've also learned to coach others into play activities by means of persuasion.

When situations become tense, children blame others and fight to force change in their flavor. The objective of “fight language” is to create  fear and force compliance with what is demanded. Fighting words are a communication style used to assert power and make intentions known.

No one likes to lose an argument, so aggressive language is used as a defense against being vulnerable and exposing weaknesses. Proverbs 15 gives us a better way. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.” Also, “The tongue of the wise brings healing as a tree of life.” This communication style can save a relationship. It’s worth the effort.  

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A quick-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stop them.

~Proverbs 15:18 New Living Translation 

Good judgment proves that you are wise, and if you speak kindly, you can teach others.

~Proverbs 16:21 Contemporary English Version

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Faith's Priority ~ 2020 Vision of God's Peace

With so much contentiousness in our country promoted by political parties and the media turmoil, what should be a faith priority of every Christian who inhabits our country? A priority has an urgency about it to be understood and abided by because of the importance attached to its purpose.

Faith’s priority goes straight to what Jesus encourages us to do, and that is to be peacemakers. To be a peacemaker when so many clamor for their way, regardless of the cost to the majority who make up society, is – I admit – difficult or even scary to do. Yet God calls the peacemakers his children.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers,” but how can you do it and not be identified as someone out of the loop with your crowd? Peace has to be faith’s priority wherever you are. You do this by speaking God’s word, his scriptures, and not by yelling out your opinion, not by engaging in arguments that cannot be resolved. “A soft answer turns away wrath.”  Happy New Year!  

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God blesses those people who make peace. They will be called his children!

~Matthew 5:9 Contemporary English Version

And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness.

~James 3:18 The Living Bible

Erupting Anger? God Gives Self-Control

Reactive anger is linked to the threat of losing control. As we live in a world defined by stress, becoming edgy is commonplace. Anything that has the appearance of disrupting a fragile sense of control is capable of bringing reactive anger to the surface. A hurried lifestyle where stress abounds infuses a person with frustration. 

The short fuse of reactive anger may override rational thinking and permit self-control to vanish. Living in a high-tech world that promises to make life simple seems to be an illusion. It’s ironic that the more conveniences our world offers, the more pervasive anger and frustrations become. 

Keeping centered on God’s purpose for you takes strength and courage. Proverbs 15:1 gives us a model for responding to reactive anger: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger”. It is the power of God within you that gives you self-control whether reacting to anger within yourself or responding to anger in others.  

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But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.

~Colossians 3:8 New American Standard Bible

Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults.

~Proverbs 12:16 The Message

If you are sensible, you will control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it is a great virtue to ignore it.

~Proverbs 19:11 Good News Bible

Explosive Anger Crushes Trust and Respect

Reactive anger not only strains a relationship to the point of obliteration but also can jeopardize a career. A young wife and mother received a stern warning from her supervisor for unrestrained verbal expressions of anger directed toward co-workers. Most individuals can refrain from venting their frustrations because it is inadvisable to do so.   

 

Reactive anger creates distrust. It makes forgiveness difficult because respect has been damaged. Forgiveness implies a willingness to return to normal fellowship if boundaries have been established over outbursts of anger. It's difficult to respect or trust anyone who does not have control over explosive anger. 

Human nature is designed to reject reactive anger. Forgiveness counseling helps a person discover what precipitates and perpetuates this emotion that allows boundaries to be rejected or disrespected. It is God's desire to instill his strength in everyone who seeks his help. Then the damaged fellowship with God and others can be restored. 

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Don’t let your spirit rush to be angry, for anger abides in the heart of fools.

~Ecclesiastes 7:9 Holman Christian Standard Bible

A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.

~Proverbs 15:1 Good News Bible

Voices of Anger

Anger is not as bad an emotion as some people believe. Those persons whose anger has been terrifying and harmful certainly have the right to fear it in themselves and others. Listen, however, as Nehemiah characterizes God's anger. "You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love." God's anger is also patient.

Our anger can be impatient, demanding and controlling. When Jacob's father-in-law Laban learned Jacob had packed up everything and left without saying goodbye, he was furious. For days he pursued Jacob before catching up. However, God warned Laban before he encountered Jacob to "Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad." 

 Laban’s anger had not escalated into rage, so he was able to hear God's warning. God’s lesson for us is to listen to other voices rather than the voice of anger. God’s voice of patience and compassion needs to be heard to prevent anger’s voice of hurt, harm and alienation from taking control.

Navigating the Path of Change - Part 3

Change is a given as we roll with the flow of life. A common occurrence is needing to adjust to unexpected events like health problems or political manipulations, in addition social issues that make life stressful. Superficial changes are made easily, but deeper emotional and spiritual changes require significant energy and commitment.

Angry, critical people may not be aware of the destructive effects their attitudes and behaviors have on themselves and others. In the early morning hours of sleeplessness, a friend asked God for help to see solutions to critical problems he faced. Learning to control what provokes an angry, critical verbal attack is required for change to occur.

While solutions may seem impossible, God is capable of surprises. He promises help to those who sincerely seek change through godly insight and understanding and who will accept the solutions he offers. God is faithful and always acts in your best interest.