What Helps Us Stop Reacting with Anger?

While it may be initially impossible to prevent anger from surfacing, it is possible to refrain from expressing it in words and behaviors. Submitting to anger implies a loss of control when self-control is desperately needed. Anger limits our reasoning ability that is designed to prevent us from submitting to bad choices.

Submitting is a natural reaction. We submit to hunger, to rules for remaining employed, to biblical guidelines securing our relationships with the Lord God and society. You are not required to submit to anger, as anger creates hostility in others which can be to your detriment.

Empathy is by far the most difficult response to exhibit toward someone who is expressing anger. Empathy coupled with understanding will override the impulse to react with anger. Empathy helps you see things from God’s perspective. Ask yourself, “How does God view this situation and how is he now reacting?  

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But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger and abundant in mercy and truth.  

~Psalm 86:15 New American Standard Bible

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Voices of Anger

Anger is not as bad an emotion as some people believe. Those persons whose anger has been terrifying and harmful certainly have the right to fear it in themselves and others. Listen, however, as Nehemiah characterizes God's anger. "You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love." God's anger is also patient.

Our anger can be impatient, demanding and controlling. When Jacob's father-in-law Laban learned Jacob had packed up everything and left without saying goodbye, he was furious. For days he pursued Jacob before catching up. However, God warned Laban before he encountered Jacob to "Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad." 

 Laban’s anger had not escalated into rage, so he was able to hear God's warning. God’s lesson for us is to listen to other voices rather than the voice of anger. God’s voice of patience and compassion needs to be heard to prevent anger’s voice of hurt, harm and alienation from taking control.