Created for Relationship - Part 2

If you had to outline in specific terms what you expect from your current relationships, what would your list include? A child psychiatrist has emphasized the necessity for modeling kindness, which she believes has been ignored. She contends that teaching and demonstrating kindness is critical for sustaining healthy companionship.

Do you expect kindness from those with whom you share a relationship? How consciously aware are you of kindness you demonstrate? In a rushed world kindness can be a rare commodity, even to those you love. But what condition must be present in a person to insure expressions of kindness are possible?

Feelings of peace open the door for expressing kindness to others. Peace, love, and kindness fit snugly together, as Psalm 85:10 declares. "Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other." Can these be separated from kindness? Kindness seeps out from the depths of your heart and soul, for this is where God comes to meet you.

Created for Relationship - Part 1

Relationships are impossible to avoid because for most people, companionship is needed and desired. God knew Adam needed a soulmate to stave off feelings of isolation. Nothing in creation could meet his need for human companionship which included someone to enjoy and appreciate and who, in turn, would enjoy and appreciate him.

Ultimately, the most rewarding experience comes when you put aside your own needs so you can be for someone what only you can be at that moment. Society may teach you to take all you can get for yourself, even if it means great loss to others. With all you can grasp, empty feelings communicate exceptionally clear that something is still missing.

A popular song announced, “love isn’t love until you give it away” to someone who joyfully receives it. Only then will you experience a deep since of fulfillment. Philippians 2:7 tells us Christ Jesus emptied himself to demonstrate God's unconditional love for us. God will empower you to follow Jesus’ example.

Poor Choices Produce Painful Consequences - Part 3

On the first day of my math class as a college freshman, the professor gave us his definition of love. He knew that's why we had come to college and enrolled in his class. Needless to say, he captured our attention because he was both funny and serious by saying, "Love is an outward expression of an inward all-over." Not what we were expecting to hear from an academic.

Human beings need to receive and give love. As a ninth grader, I had serious trouble in school. I made good grades but was too spontaneous in expressing humor, to the point of being threatened with expulsion. My mother’s response was to lay on the guilt. "After all the work and sacrifices I've made, how could you choose to act this way?"

My mother loved me enough to “lay on the guilt.” Love is about pouring yourself out for another person. Titus 3 explains that God generously poured out his love and kindness on us through Jesus Christ, not because we deserved it, but because he wanted to save us and give us purpose for living. Think about that. 

Poor Choices Produce Painful Consequences - Part 2

Most of us want to sail through life without encountering any glitches or troubles. However, we have to admit that the majority of our troubles are self-inflicted by poor choices we’ve made that created painful consequences we can’t seem to avoid. Someone said, "Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgments."

We do have to take responsibility for what we allow our lives to become and confronting a crossroads may be a necessity for change and growth to flow into our lives. A crossroads clearly offers a choice for change and perhaps a step toward turning troubles into opportunities, but the narrowness of the passage can be so confining it may seem impossible to make necessary changes.

Conversely, a crossroads can be our finest hour. By turning to Christ Jesus we discover strength, power, and wisdom to live the life he intends to give us. God's word reminds us that we cannot begin to imagine what great and wonderful treasures God has in store for those who love him. Isn't that exciting to contemplate?    

Poor Choices Produce Painful Consequences - Part 1

Everyone has stood at a crossroads and made choices they regretted. It's at this juncture where decisions may appear overwhelming. A helicopter pilot misjudged a critical situation that preventing him from rescuing a soldier who was consequently killed by enemy fire. The pilot’s self-image began to decline due to guilt for not analyzing the situation correctly.

Listen to his own condemnation. "Not a day goes by that I do not think about the soldier I let die." Compounding his torment was his refusal to share the experience with those who loved him. The only other person who knew what happened was the co-pilot of the helicopter. Secret-keeping results in self-incrimination and secret suffering.

It is possible to make amends for our poor judgment, horrible mistakes, and selfish, sinful acts against others. Jesus instruct us to go to those people and make things right, whatever is required. Where this cannot be done, confess your fallibility and sinful weaknesses to Christ Jesus. Then seek his forgiveness and comfort. This is the beginning of healing for your soul.  

Critical Choices & Long-range Consequences - Part 3

Life is like time, always in transition and always moving forward rather than standing still. Yet there are circumstances that seem to contradict this reality. I read an article about a mother and father whose adult son was murdered a decade earlier. This loss was so devastating that healing had not taken place, even after a decade of grief.

Most of us may never experience such desolation, yet we will face our own crossroads experiences. Lack of vengeance does not imply forgiveness has taken place, but it gives credence to the fact that forgiveness is difficult to achieve. All of us need to be forgiven by those we've hurt just as we need to forgive those who have offended us.

Vengeance can be acted out passively by withdrawing from the offending person and internalizing the pain. God's word has two specific reminders for us. "'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord," and "Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." Crossroads choices can bring about healing for you and others. 

Critical Choices & Long-range Consequences - Part 2

Coming to a crossroads in life is not uncommon, although it may create uncertainty concerning which way to go. Changing directions has the potentiality for creating long-range, positive results or just the opposite. For each person whom God calls to be a follower of Jesus Christ, God continues to provide confidence of that calling throughout life.

A friend decided early in adolescence to be a career military officer. Three years into his first tour of duty he sensed God had other plans. To leave the military would mean giving up his dreams. This was a difficult choice, fraught with sadness and apprehension. However, he knew there would be a void in his life if he refused God’s call.

When the Apostle Paul was on his second missionary journey, the Holy Spirit prevented him from preaching the word in Asia. He later had a vision of a man of Macedonia begging him to come to his country and preach God’s word to them. As we seek God's will in prayer and with patience, He will make clear His plan and purpose for us.  

Critical Choices & Long-range Consequences - Part 1

Facing life-changing decisions is not readily forgotten because choices have lasting consequences. John Mark, who later wrote the Gospel of Mark, decided in the middle of their first mission trip to abandon Paul and Barnabas and go home. Later Barnabas wanted to include him on their second trip, but Paul refused to trust his immaturity as seen in Mark’s earlier choice.

Did John Mark regret his decision to desert Paul and Barnabas when he packed up and went home? Everyone will encounter crossroads in life, and most of these encounters create anxiety or even desperation. A young man caught up in gang activities during the 1970's was invited to attend a Billy Graham Crusade and, to his own dismay, agreed to attend.

His crossroads experience came as he realized God spoke directly to him through the message and invitation. Resistance was powerful, but yielding to God's call was overwhelming. Today that man pastors a church that is making a difference for Christ Jesus and the Kingdom of God. God gives peace to the person making the right choice.

Turning Points for New Beginnings - Part 3

My dad sometimes reminisced over opportunities he had let slip away. He wasn't much of a risk-taker, but in a real crunch he would muster up the courage to do what was necessary. When he needed a good job to support his family, his brother who worked at an aircraft plant told him about an available job. All he had to do was apply and the job was his.

Taking this job was a turning point for him. Turning points are those moments in time when change and decision-making are required but may be accompanied by anxiety or fear. However, these feelings can be thought of as part of significant decisions and required changes. Facing down these feelings is possible by believing God is always at work for your good.

Insight helps you see possibilities for starting over or changing directions. What gives power to insight is trust and faith in God's unfailing love for you. His desire is to help you through the turning points of life. Yes, God put his claim on your life but will never take possession without your permission.  

Turning Points for New Beginnings - Part 2

Turning points are moments in time when an opportunity is presented for making a significant change. Directional change may not be a turn toward good, but toward sin or evil. Everyone has made wrong choices. Jonah was directed by God to go to Nineveh to preach God’s message of repentance, but turned his back on God and headed out in the opposite direction.

Under duress, Jonah changed his mind and reluctantly followed God's calling. Do you remember how the story ends? Nineveh repents and is saved from destruction, but Jonah becomes so angry and depressed, he wants to die. The story ends with Jonah’s refusal to rejoice in the great miracle God provided.

Insight, which God furnishes through the Holy Spirit, his word, and any circumstance or experience he chooses to employ, gives you light so you can see clearly where he’s leading. God provides faith and motivation for pursuing his purposes for your life. Isn't God good? He turns defeat into victory, and victory into a higher purpose for living.

Turning Points for New Beginnings - Part 1

My grandfather was a restless soul who periodically would sell his farming equipment and seek out new exploits. He believed strongly in new beginnings. Starting over for him was more than a change of atmosphere. His expectations for a better life were highlighted by faith in God to give him a meaningful purpose for his existence.

John Wesley, founder of the Methodist church, served as a missionary in Georgia from 1735 to 1738. His purpose was to convert the Indians and save his own soul. Returning to England as a failure, he received Christ Jesus by faith on May 24, 1738. His purpose for life was changed. He preached salvation by faith in Jesus Christ for the next fifty years.

This example of a new beginning illustrates God’s desire for everyone. God provided John Wesley with a lifeline to insight, the ability to see God’s truth, which enabled Wesley to rise up from failure and despair to find purpose that endured for a lifetime. Could this be what God has placed before you at this very moment? 

Stressed-out Family? Seek Constructive Change - Part 3

One of the most exciting opportunities that come our way is choosing to live our lives differently from what we've done in the past. An opportunity may suddenly appear, and we have a chance to inaugurate a change. To let an opportunity pass without giving it consideration would be like turning your back on the chance of a lifetime.

Recognizing how to change is good insight, which is the key to transformation. I had a conversation with someone who had a terrible fight with her adult brother. This fight could have caused long-lasting alienation, but she decided to call her brother and apologize for her part in the conflict. This was her opportunity to choose reconciliation rather than alienation.

Everyone is capable of attitudes that destroy trust, which is needed for every aspect of life. Poisoning trust can be subtle, but destructive. Is this the time to redirect how you can be as a person? Micah 6:8 puts it this way, "What does the Lord require of you, but act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Stressed-out Family? Seek Constructive Change - Part 2

Most parents want their children to have character traits that will enable them to endure the stressors of growing up in an ever-changing culture. Strong character traits give children determination to withstand the pressures of life. Stress is derived from various sources and, when coupled with anxiety and tension, can be a detriment to building resilience.

Child development experts expound on the benefits of tender, loving care given to children during the developmental years. Researchers believe that long-term, chronic stress impairs physical and mental health. Stressed-out people may have trouble establishing close, nurturing relationships. Doing well in school or at work is jeopardized where too much stress exists.

Responsive and encouraging caregivers help build the resilience children need to cope with stress later in life. Even in a troubled environment parents can provide reassurance and encouragement to help children feel secure. God does this for you by helping you realize that Christ Jesus is present and trustworthy to guide you through difficult, troubled times.  

Stressed-out Family? Seek Constructive Change - Part 1

Life is stressful, and learning to managing stress constructively is a necessity. Continuously struggling with stress produces tension and anxiety that trigger symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, and neck and back pain. Stress in children may be acted out behaviorally, like a six-year-old’s disruptive classroom antics brought on by his parent’s marital battles.

While it’s impossible to stress-proof your children or to protect them from troubles, you can help them cope with the uncertainties of life. Telling your children age-appropriate truth prepares them for reality. Imagine the parents of a four-year-old in divorce proceedings. The mother and child abruptly move to another state without preparing the child for these changes.

While it's not healthy to tell a four-year-old details of a nasty divorce, age-appropriate truth helps to prepare them for important changes and to reassure them of your love and commitment. Helping your child grieve and express anger in non-destructive ways can prevent unacceptable acting out. God will come to your aid when the storms of life seem overwhelming.