Vengeance: Give It Up, Turn It Over

One alternative to forgiveness is vengeance, which is an obstacle to happiness. The purpose of vengeance can be to side-step other troublesome emotions, like betrayal and hurt which are too painful to face. A person’s heart and mind may become so preoccupied with vengeance, forgiveness seems completely out of the question.

Divorce has the capacity for birthing and nurturing vengeance. Decades after a divorce, disgust and hatred still can dominate the lives of those who once loved and cherished each other. Research indicates that the emotional wounds inflicted by what caused divorce may remain raw and unhealed for years. Forgiveness counseling helps to heal these wounds.

What produces an attitude of vengeance? Vengeance is driven by the need to punish, if only in a passive-aggressive mode. The tragedy of this attitude is the influence it has on your relationship with God. Why don’t you consider giving it up by turning it over to the Lord Jesus Christ? It would please him for you to do so.  

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Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbors as you love yourself. I am the Lord.

~Leviticus 19:18 Good News Bible

My children, let us love not merely in theory or in words – let us love in sincerity and in practice!

~1 John 3:18 Phillips – The New Testament in Modern English

Critical Choices & Long-range Consequences - Part 3

Life is like time, always in transition and always moving forward rather than standing still. Yet there are circumstances that seem to contradict this reality. I read an article about a mother and father whose adult son was murdered a decade earlier. This loss was so devastating that healing had not taken place, even after a decade of grief.

Most of us may never experience such desolation, yet we will face our own crossroads experiences. Lack of vengeance does not imply forgiveness has taken place, but it gives credence to the fact that forgiveness is difficult to achieve. All of us need to be forgiven by those we've hurt just as we need to forgive those who have offended us.

Vengeance can be acted out passively by withdrawing from the offending person and internalizing the pain. God's word has two specific reminders for us. "'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord," and "Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." Crossroads choices can bring about healing for you and others. 

Choosing at the Crossroads - Part 2

Life is progressively in transition, moving forward rather than standing still. We often find ourselves at a crossroads where pressure nudges us to make a decision to keep moving in some direction. Consider the mother and father whose adult son had been murdered. It is still devastating for them to remember, after a decade of grief, because healing may progress very slowly.

Forgiveness was extended to the killer, but discontent lingers even though the murderer received the death sentence. Forgiveness can be difficult when perpetrators refuse to seek forgiveness for the pain they've inflicted. Christians need to pursue forgiveness for having hurt others as well as to forgive those who have hurt and offended them.

Vengeance will neither satisfy nor hasten healing. God's word has specific instructions for managing revenge. First, turn it over to him. "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord." Another directive is, "Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." Life at the crossroads offers choices that can bring healing and goodness to you and others.