Shackled to Suffering and Loneliness?

In reading the biography of Joseph from the Genesis account, we see him coping with slavery, being sentenced to indefinite imprisonment and facing a possible lifetime separation from his family. All of this came about because of his brothers’ hatred. They believed he got what was coming to him, so they cared less what he had to endure.

I'm sure Joseph resented his brothers in return for the suffering he had tolerated. Suffering is as much a part of life as is pleasure. Parents suffer seeing their children experience unhappiness regardless of its source. As adults we must learn to cope with suffering brought on by life’s uncertainties and conflicts that cannot be avoided.

Hate, anger and resentment build bridges to alienation and suffering that are capable of being prolonged indefinitely. Being unwilling to forgive shackles you to a wall of loneliness where love and affection will diminish. Joseph chose to forgive his brothers by stepping out in faith, believing God would bless him for doing so. That can be your choice.  

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Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new.

~2 Corinthians 5:17 Good News Bible

But that’s not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love.

~Romans 5:3-5 Good News Bible

Give Reconciliation a Chance

         

A major goal we have set in motion is making life predictable and free from anxiety and worry. We need security and stability so that when the unpredictable happens, we’re able to avoid a major crisis. When Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt to buy grain, his well-ordered life spun into turmoil. For twenty years he hadn’t seen his brothers who hated him.

Joseph saw this as a chance for reconciliation, but he did not trust his brothers. A test we face in life is what to do with anger and sadness from past betrayals and disappointments that have not healed. Although Joseph was overcome with emotions, he determined to use reason and logic to give reconciliation a chance.

Joseph's goal was to fuse together his fragmented family. A crisis either tests your character strengths and behaviors or adds fuel to the fire of resentment and revenge. Using a crisis as a tool for reconciliation builds a bridge to integrity and paves the way for restoring peace and harmony. It pleases the Lord Jesus Christ when this becomes your objective. 

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“Now it’s time to change your ways! Turn and face God so he can wipe away your sins, pour out showers of blessing to refresh you.”

~Acts 3:19 The Message

Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tenderhearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.

~Ephesians 4:31-32 Good News Bible

Where Jealousy Festers, Reconciliation Is Required

The renowned anthropologist Margaret Mead described jealousy as a festering spot in every personality that includes a negative undesirable attitude. You would think a smart achieving person would not succumb to jealousy, but everyone has areas where superiority cannot overshadow feelings of inferiority.

A friend related how astonished she was by a family member’s jealous behavior that surfaced whenever she came to visit. This friend is intelligent, a good host capable of doing whatever it takes to avoid conflict. However, when her relative came to visit, happy times evaporated as spiteful barbs and jibes were expressed.

My friend decided to e-mail her relative seeking a resolution. She spelled out what she observed to be the issue. She encouraged her relative to give suggestions for a resolution. They agreed to work toward reconciliation and forgiveness. Patience and courage were required, but knowing God would honor and bless their efforts was encouraging.

Critical Choices & Long-range Consequences - Part 3

Life is like time, always in transition and always moving forward rather than standing still. Yet there are circumstances that seem to contradict this reality. I read an article about a mother and father whose adult son was murdered a decade earlier. This loss was so devastating that healing had not taken place, even after a decade of grief.

Most of us may never experience such desolation, yet we will face our own crossroads experiences. Lack of vengeance does not imply forgiveness has taken place, but it gives credence to the fact that forgiveness is difficult to achieve. All of us need to be forgiven by those we've hurt just as we need to forgive those who have offended us.

Vengeance can be acted out passively by withdrawing from the offending person and internalizing the pain. God's word has two specific reminders for us. "'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord," and "Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." Crossroads choices can bring about healing for you and others. 

Bouncing Back and Pressing On - Part 3

Society has always needed heroes, both real and imagined. These heroes, whether men, women, or children, demonstrate unusual courage in times of crisis or great need. Ordinary people are saddened or angered when their heroes fall short of expectations. We express admiration, however, for those who display resilience and recover with dignity.

Resilience enables a person to bounce back from failures to face their shortcomings. The alternative is to continue holding on to anger and remaining reluctant to admit wrongs, such as acting in ways that hurt others and damage their relationships. Even when threatened by great loss, any semblance of repentance is strangely absent.

When repentance is rejected, the heart is hardened and sin gains a foothold. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life." Jesus is more than a hero. He is Lord and Savior and able to melt a heart of stone by forgiving the worst sin imaginable. God's grace will sustain you through any hardship following your choice to change.