Focus on Your Values - Part 1

I spent my elementary years of childhood growing up in a small farming community. My uncle owned a combination feed and grocery store there, in addition to being the postmaster and pharmacist. I can't remember crime being major concern, for safety and security seemed to be a given.

I cannot explain how I got this idea, except that human nature being as it is, it came naturally. When I was seven or eight, my cousin and I took some of my mother's hen eggs and sold them at my uncle's store. Sometime later I took a twenty-dollar bill from my mother's purse and hid it under our house. When my mom confronted me, I confessed and gave back her twenty dollars.

My mother confronted me because she loved me and what I did was wrong. Confronting weaknesses is a never-ending process. God’s word offers this challenge. "Continue to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. Remain patient, keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith."  

Allow Obstacles to Build Your Faith - Part 1

Frustrating obstacles often clog the pathway to our hopes and dreams. We have no choice in whether obstructions turn up, but we do have choices in how they are managed. Obstacles could be perceived as faith-builders, even as encouragers. A humorous example is found in Numbers 22. Balaam, a mercenary prophet, is saved from annihilation by his donkey.

The king of Moab feared the Hebrew people, who needed to pass through

his country on their way to the promised land. He recruited Balaam to put a curse on the Israelites. This action displeased God, so obstructions were created to prevent Balaam from carrying out the king's plan.

While on his way to place the curse, Balaam's donkey saw an angel of God standing in the road with a drawn sword. The donkey could see what Balaam could not. Finally, Balaam understood the obstruction and confessed his sin. Accepting God’s obstructions as faith-builders is a choice, but it illustrates God's determination to save you. For this, you should thank God.  

Milestones: Turn Obstructions into Opportunities - Part 2

Parents have the privilege of observing their infant reach milestones when he or she begins to sit alone, crawl, pull up, and take that unassisted first step. They will fall down, collect bumps and bruises, but still there is great delight when observing children make these advancements.

When an adolescent graduates from high school or perhaps college and finds a job, parents rejoice and celebrate. How about getting married and becoming a parent? Milestones are indicative of a turning point from which there is no turning back. These high points indicate growth and maturity as well as commitment to accept higher levels of responsibility.

Jesus reached a significant milestone as he submitted to being baptized when he was about thirty years old. No longer was he just a carpenter or the son of Mary and Joseph. The Holy Spirit announced he was indeed the Son of God, whose objective was to be the Messiah and Savior of all mankind. Milestones are indicators of change and purpose, so be alert to choose God's purpose as you reach these benchmarks.  

Looking Back, Moving Forward - Part 3

We as people tend to view obstructions negatively, as having power to diminish our happiness and peace. Obstacles impede progress toward planned objectives while becoming a source of frustration. Changing one's perspective is difficult, but it’s possible to view obstructions as teachers and opportunities for positive change. Perhaps God intends for obstructions to slow us down so we can view life differently.

How can obstructions become teachers for positive change? A doctor in his early forties who seemed perfectly healthy began to feel severe and chronic fatigue and reluctantly submitted to a complete physical exam. Immediately his colleagues confirmed he had cancer.

Any Illness is an obstruction to health and must be confronted. For this doctor, cancer was a wake-up call. It taught him to value life and every moment as precious. Jesus remind us not to get so caught up in the pressures of living we forget what matters for eternity. “This is your day, the day God has made, so rejoice and be glad for it.”  

Looking Back, Moving Forward - Part 1

You’re aware of how some memories persevere for a lifetime while others fade into obscurity. A few rare memories are like sweet cream dessert, but others can be so awful we do our best to avoid them. Most of our memories include a combination of happy and sad experiences, sparking our emotions that span a range from joyful to disturbing.

When children are severely criticized and rejected, they may develop survival skills to help them reach their highest potential and yet continue to feel an emptiness that success is incapable of filling. Being disfavored leaves a child or an adult feeling impoverished, like the black sheep of the family. Yet it's possible to replace this perspective with God’s perspective.

No one makes it through life with only positive memories, but God will heal wounds we’ve acquired at every stage of life. Pain created by memories shrink as you permit God to do his work of cleansing and forgiving. You are favored by God, so deposit this reality into your memory bank. 

Remember! God Favors You - Part 3

When the people of Israel ended their forty-year residence in the desert, it was time to claim the promised land. Their journey, which had begun in Egypt, ended at the Jordan River near Jericho. Joshua, their leader and commander appointed by Moses, told the people, "Consecrate yourselves to the Lord God. Tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you."

These people were to go forward to conquer the land. This is not unlike what God asks you to do as you go out to confront the tasks of making a living, parenting children, or just surviving the day. God wanted his people to remember he favored them and they would be successful regardless how the odds seemed stacked against them.

It's important to remember how God favors you by getting you through desperate situations that seemed impossible to navigate. Do not forget that God believes in you and regards you as his treasure and dear possession.  It's difficult to get that fixed into your consciousness, isn't it? You are his treasure and prized possession. He will never forget you!   

At a Crossroads? Get Out of the Rut and Reach Higher - Part 3

Submission was never intended to be a nasty word, but it's not uncommon for the word to bring up strong opposition in both men and women. Ephesians 5:21 instructs Christians to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Healthy parenting teaches children to be submissive to rules and authority, for failure to do so could result in long-lasting sorrow for both parent and child.

Submission is required for taking advantage of opportunities that come your way. Opposition to submission can become an obstruction to success. Submission reflects obedience, which is another word that’s hard to swallow and digest. Jeremiah 26:13 implores us to "stop sinning and obey the Lord."

Submission is a good, godly word, but it can be abused. It's important to remember that submission is what you do voluntarily, for being forced to submit isn’t submission at all. Submission to God's laws, his love, and his care for you requires your freedom to choose. Christ Jesus would not have it any other way, but doing so guarantees his blessings. 

At a Crossroads? Get Out of the Rut and Reach Higher - Part 2

Mapping the brain continues to be an objective of scientists who research this magnificent, mysterious part of our body. Mapping the brain helps doctors diagnose, treat, and heal physical and mental disorders. The brain seems so complex, we tend to give it little consideration. The reason is, we’re busy making needed pathways through the difficulties and complexities of life.

It’s on these pathways that we come to a crossroads where circumstances require us to choose what is possible or impossible. After fifteen years of marriage a husband presented his wife with a divorce decree, due in part to her withdrawal of affection. While there was no stated reason for the withdrawal, he was firm in seeking the divorce.

Help for managing shock, hurt, and confusion at a crossroads is found in Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." What clearer map could you choose to follow?

Shaping Life Scripts at the Crossroads - Part 1

It seems that some people have a natural winning formula for success and happiness while others fit into the opposite category. To be self-sufficient and productive, it appears from a distance that successful individuals have life scripts written out, and all they have to do is roll with the flow of opportunities.

A man in his thirties said he was encouraged by his parents to become a molecular biologist. Being intelligent and motivated, he thought it made sense to comply with his parents’ encouragement. Approaching mid-life feeling dissatisfied and conflicted, he now questions his choice. However, obligations and so much responsibility make change a distant dream.

This man is at a crossroads where decisions affect himself, his career, and his family. What helps him choose wisely is the wellspring of hope from Psalm 1. “The man who delights in the laws of God and follows his will is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in due season. Whatever he does prospers.” This is a winning formula for success.

Rewriting Your Life Script? Set Boundaries - Part 3

Can you imagine going back in time to change significant choices you made at a younger age? Being older and wiser indicates the probability for choosing differently. Some would even like to rewrite their entire life script composed of experiences, decisions, and the direction their life took over the years.

Some things are unalterable. You can't change who your parents were or the environment you were exposed to growing up, but you can change your attitude. Altering daily routines to allow for more flexibility isn't easy, but it's not impossible. God’s grace and mercy and the insight he provides allow for a new script to be written on how you will order your life for the remainder of your days.

Psalm 1 refers to a life script God will bless. "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord on which he meditates day and night.” This is not easy, but a choice that honors Christ Jesus.

Created for Relationship - Part 1

Relationships are impossible to avoid because for most people, companionship is needed and desired. God knew Adam needed a soulmate to stave off feelings of isolation. Nothing in creation could meet his need for human companionship which included someone to enjoy and appreciate and who, in turn, would enjoy and appreciate him.

Ultimately, the most rewarding experience comes when you put aside your own needs so you can be for someone what only you can be at that moment. Society may teach you to take all you can get for yourself, even if it means great loss to others. With all you can grasp, empty feelings communicate exceptionally clear that something is still missing.

A popular song announced, “love isn’t love until you give it away” to someone who joyfully receives it. Only then will you experience a deep since of fulfillment. Philippians 2:7 tells us Christ Jesus emptied himself to demonstrate God's unconditional love for us. God will empower you to follow Jesus’ example.

Critical Choices & Long-range Consequences - Part 3

Life is like time, always in transition and always moving forward rather than standing still. Yet there are circumstances that seem to contradict this reality. I read an article about a mother and father whose adult son was murdered a decade earlier. This loss was so devastating that healing had not taken place, even after a decade of grief.

Most of us may never experience such desolation, yet we will face our own crossroads experiences. Lack of vengeance does not imply forgiveness has taken place, but it gives credence to the fact that forgiveness is difficult to achieve. All of us need to be forgiven by those we've hurt just as we need to forgive those who have offended us.

Vengeance can be acted out passively by withdrawing from the offending person and internalizing the pain. God's word has two specific reminders for us. "'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord," and "Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." Crossroads choices can bring about healing for you and others. 

Critical Choices & Long-range Consequences - Part 1

Facing life-changing decisions is not readily forgotten because choices have lasting consequences. John Mark, who later wrote the Gospel of Mark, decided in the middle of their first mission trip to abandon Paul and Barnabas and go home. Later Barnabas wanted to include him on their second trip, but Paul refused to trust his immaturity as seen in Mark’s earlier choice.

Did John Mark regret his decision to desert Paul and Barnabas when he packed up and went home? Everyone will encounter crossroads in life, and most of these encounters create anxiety or even desperation. A young man caught up in gang activities during the 1970's was invited to attend a Billy Graham Crusade and, to his own dismay, agreed to attend.

His crossroads experience came as he realized God spoke directly to him through the message and invitation. Resistance was powerful, but yielding to God's call was overwhelming. Today that man pastors a church that is making a difference for Christ Jesus and the Kingdom of God. God gives peace to the person making the right choice.

Turning Points for New Beginnings - Part 1

My grandfather was a restless soul who periodically would sell his farming equipment and seek out new exploits. He believed strongly in new beginnings. Starting over for him was more than a change of atmosphere. His expectations for a better life were highlighted by faith in God to give him a meaningful purpose for his existence.

John Wesley, founder of the Methodist church, served as a missionary in Georgia from 1735 to 1738. His purpose was to convert the Indians and save his own soul. Returning to England as a failure, he received Christ Jesus by faith on May 24, 1738. His purpose for life was changed. He preached salvation by faith in Jesus Christ for the next fifty years.

This example of a new beginning illustrates God’s desire for everyone. God provided John Wesley with a lifeline to insight, the ability to see God’s truth, which enabled Wesley to rise up from failure and despair to find purpose that endured for a lifetime. Could this be what God has placed before you at this very moment? 

Stressed-out Family? Seek Constructive Change - Part 3

One of the most exciting opportunities that come our way is choosing to live our lives differently from what we've done in the past. An opportunity may suddenly appear, and we have a chance to inaugurate a change. To let an opportunity pass without giving it consideration would be like turning your back on the chance of a lifetime.

Recognizing how to change is good insight, which is the key to transformation. I had a conversation with someone who had a terrible fight with her adult brother. This fight could have caused long-lasting alienation, but she decided to call her brother and apologize for her part in the conflict. This was her opportunity to choose reconciliation rather than alienation.

Everyone is capable of attitudes that destroy trust, which is needed for every aspect of life. Poisoning trust can be subtle, but destructive. Is this the time to redirect how you can be as a person? Micah 6:8 puts it this way, "What does the Lord require of you, but act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Stressed-out Family? Seek Constructive Change - Part 1

Life is stressful, and learning to managing stress constructively is a necessity. Continuously struggling with stress produces tension and anxiety that trigger symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, and neck and back pain. Stress in children may be acted out behaviorally, like a six-year-old’s disruptive classroom antics brought on by his parent’s marital battles.

While it’s impossible to stress-proof your children or to protect them from troubles, you can help them cope with the uncertainties of life. Telling your children age-appropriate truth prepares them for reality. Imagine the parents of a four-year-old in divorce proceedings. The mother and child abruptly move to another state without preparing the child for these changes.

While it's not healthy to tell a four-year-old details of a nasty divorce, age-appropriate truth helps to prepare them for important changes and to reassure them of your love and commitment. Helping your child grieve and express anger in non-destructive ways can prevent unacceptable acting out. God will come to your aid when the storms of life seem overwhelming. 

Stress Management: God's Gift of Insight - Part 1

Surviving from trouble in this world unscathed emotionally or physically is impossible. Yet some people believe they should be exempted from hardships. When the struggles of living surface God's goodness is questioned. Stress overload may cause the toughest personality to react in ways that are contrary to personal values and beliefs.

No matter what your status in life is, stress will seek you out because stress is a natural part of living. How it's managed determines whether it has a positive or negative effect on you as a person. God gives insight plus emotional and physical stamina for coping with stress, regardless of its source.

So how do you cope with unwanted stress? One way is to shift your focus from the source of agitation to whatever God has provided that makes your life worth living. Secondly, give thanks to God with a sincere, appreciative heart. "Count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what God has done." This will put a productive spin on stress management.  

Resisting Stress: God Empowers - Part 3

What's the greatest challenge you've had to face? For some people a challenge is welcomed. Challenge suggests that  a possibility for change exists. For others, challenge staves off boredom and stress, which is similar to pressure you feel when overloaded with too much to do and not enough time to get it done.

To feel challenged is an invitation to test your competence. Challenge demands engagement outside of what's commonplace. I'm not referring to extreme risk-taking, but being pushed to use your mental, physical, and spiritual capacity to do what's within your integrity and skills to do. Integrity implies strength of character to handle stress effectively.

Hardiness of character does not imply the absence of weakness, but rather the willingness to face challenges made possible by faith that comes as a gift from the Lord God. True disciples of Christ have weaknesses, but they know their purpose is to engage the world as a witness for Christ Jesus. This confidence provides strength to contend with the stress they're sure to encounter. 

Resisting Stress: God Empowers - Part 1

The word stress can be defined differently for anyone managing a difficult situation. "I'm stressing," is a negative expression known to everyone who believes stress is undesirable; yet without stress there would be limited motivation to make needed and necessary changes. Stress challenges us to reach outward and inward for solutions to bad situations.

While it's true that stress can be overwhelming, it doesn't have to be disastrous. If your attitude encourages surrender and defeat, then stress can be devastating. It's your attitude that supports the will to challenge difficult situations. The readiness to challenge and change situations determines the negative or positive influence stress has on your life.

When Jesus called his disciples, he endowed them with resilience that made it possible to challenge and change what they previously believed was impossible to do. When troubles came, their faith prevented stress from becoming overwhelming. They believed Christ Jesus was on their side and was the source of their empowerment. This is what he offers to you.  

Manage Conflict: Commit to Engage and Change - Part 3

Stress is inescapable. It meets us at work, at home, in traffic, and everywhere. How stress is managed is connected to our personality, education, training, and belief systems. People whose attitude is amenable to change and healthy challenge appear to have a healthier stress tolerance than those who rate low on these attributes.

I was impressed by a seventy-eight-year-old widow who decided she still had something to offer society. She set out to find a place for herself rather than stay home and rest, as her children advised her to do. She remains bright and spunky, capable of driving herself to exercise class, computer classes and several volunteer opportunities.

Significant is the renewal of her fellowship with Christ Jesus, including Bible study with other believers. Even at seventy-eight she's a model for self-control and self-determination. 2 Timothy 1:7 gives meaning and purpose to her. "For God did not give you a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love, and self-control."  That defines a stress-buster.