Trust God's Process to Forgiveness

Three basic emotions that keep forgiveness within darkness are anger, fear and hurt. Lack of trust is positioned alongside these and stands as a barrier to peace and unity. It’s unbelievable how a person not only can lose all regard for someone they previously loved, but given enough disappointments and apathy, their will to forgive may evaporate.

The more intense anger, fear and hurt become, the harder it is to trust forgiveness. This doesn’t imply that forgiveness is out of the question. It does mean, however, that serious issues encased in these emotions need be addressed before forgiveness can be considered. People require boundaries to insure their emotional and physical health.

Setting boundaries is one step to forgiveness but does not disregard God's word instructing us to forgive others as he has forgiven us. Forgiveness must ensure that proper boundaries have been established so the bridge to integrity and personal safety can be ultimately built and maintained. God rejects chaos and disunity, for he is a God of stability.  

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For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.

~Colossians 1:13-14 New Living Translation

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him to help you do it and he will.

~Psalm 36:5 The Living Bible

Rewriting Your Life Script? Set Boundaries - Part 3

Can you imagine going back in time to change significant choices you made at a younger age? Being older and wiser indicates the probability for choosing differently. Some would even like to rewrite their entire life script composed of experiences, decisions, and the direction their life took over the years.

Some things are unalterable. You can't change who your parents were or the environment you were exposed to growing up, but you can change your attitude. Altering daily routines to allow for more flexibility isn't easy, but it's not impossible. God’s grace and mercy and the insight he provides allow for a new script to be written on how you will order your life for the remainder of your days.

Psalm 1 refers to a life script God will bless. "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord on which he meditates day and night.” This is not easy, but a choice that honors Christ Jesus.

Rewriting Your Life Script? Set Boundaries - Part 2

Opportunities for making significant changes in one’s lifestyle rarely occur. When it does happen the opportunity may slip away if the willingness to be accountable is missing. Taking responsibility for the cost or sacrifice that change demands is the issue. A young woman desperately wanted her marriage to heal from the anger and jealousy that had torn it apart. 

For reconciliation to be possible she would have to change her inordinate attachment and dependency on her parents. Her husband refused to reconcile until she was willing to set boundaries on her parent’s influence and control. Throughout her marriage, she had blamed her husband for their ever-present conflict.

Although this young woman's intentions were sincere, she refused to enforce the boundaries she knew were needed. Mature love is what adults crave and seek, but becomes possible only when God’s instructions to leave parents and cleave to each other are set in motion. While this may be difficult, God will provide the means to do so where a firm choice is set in place.

Rewriting Your Life Script? Set Boundaries - Part 1

Blaming others for our troubles and hardships is often a first line of defense. Accusations range from absurd to ridiculous and on to laughable. You’ve heard the story of the student who didn't do his homework. When the teacher asked him to produce it, he excused himself by blaming his dog, whom he accused of eating it.

Blame is a form of deception that tries to hide our inadequacies. Blame attempts to make something or someone responsible for our own bad choices. In reality, it's an effort to sidestep accountability by refusing to be submissive to the truth. Believing that if you escape the immediate consequences of a bad choice, you will escape them indefinitely, simply isn't true.

Learning to set boundaries on blaming others and to accept responsibility for your decisions a critical choice. God directs us to confess our sin and failures, for through confession, we override the impulse to blame others. The old adage of confession being good for your soul has viability. Confession paves the way for an honest relationship with God and others.