What Are You Capable of Being with God's Help?

Life is full of surprises, some nice and fun, while others may test our capacity to survive. Vladimir Nabokov, the Russian novelist, saw life itself as a great surprise. “When you consider what each person is capable of  achieving, it is surprising to realize what can actually be accomplished.”

However, life is periodically interspersed with trouble and we’re aware suffering will come to visit us. When it occurs, we can be caught off guard and surprised. Some troubles are so disturbing they dislodge our emotional equilibrium and we need help to recover.

On the other hand, it’s possible to be so surprised by God’s goodness in our trouble that we become overwhelmed to be so fortunate. God designed us with amazing strength and ability to pull ourselves together, to reorient and refocus on what we can do with his help, insight, and guidance. 

Do you need God’s help today? Why not ask him for that help right now?     

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God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change.

~2 Peter 3:9 The Message

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What Is the Alternative to Criticism?

Domestic violence has expanded to include numerous offenses. What’s often overlooked is disparaging criticism that leaves no physical wounds but rather emotional damage that may never heal. Criticism’s purpose is to attack a person’s self-image through verbal assaults.

Everyone has been subjected to verbal abuse at some level. While criticism may not include hostile insults, irreparable damage may occur through innuendos that suggest character flaws the victim believes are true and accurate. Criticism can penetrate the vulnerable emotional shield of a child or an adult.

Jesus addressed the issue in Matthew 18:6: “If anyone should cause a child [or an adult], to lose their faith in me, it would be better for that person to have a large millstone tied around their neck and drowned in the deepest sea.” Domestic violence in any form is unacceptable to the Lord God, so ask him to send help now, today.

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Do all things without complaining or arguing, so that you may be innocent and pure as God’s perfect children, who live in a world of corrupt and sinful people.

~Philippians 2:14-15 Good News Bible

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How Can Revealing Shameful Secrets Free You?

What helped America and our allies win World War II was their deciphering Germany and Japan’s secret military codes. During the decades of the Cold War, one of America’s best kept secrets was the B2 stealth bomber, constructed from materials that made it impossible for radar to detect.

Personal secrets can be detrimental to relationships and to emotional and physical health. Stories abound of children sworn to secrecy by a predator who had violated them. When a seven-year-old revealed to her mother that a teenage cousin had been molesting her for three years, the mother refused to believe her.

Reporting this shameful secret to the authorities was painful, but necessary to ensure that healing would be sought. God will create a time and place for secrets to be revealed so healing can move forward. He provides courage and determination for you to be free from the shackles of secrets. God is worthy of your trust, and his love will never fail you. 

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He sends light to places dark as death.

~Job 12:22 Good News Bible

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Is Nurturing a Necessity?

That newborn babies and young children need to be protected, loved, and nurtured goes without question. For a relationship or a person to thrive, nurturing plays a crucial role. Nurturing can be displayed through gentleness, kindness, and primarily through love and affection.

Criticizing, pointing out faults, and blaming do not build character and self-esteem. Children and adults need security and feelings of safety to thrive and develop as individuals. What gives hope for the future are encouragement, clear-cut boundaries, and appropriate consequences for careless choices. These define nurturing.

Nurturing is not always easy, but listen to Colossians 3:12. “As God's chosen people, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” These virtues are attributes of nurturing and must be practiced until they become spontaneous. Old habits can be left behind with God’s help, which he gives abundantly.  

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And to all these qualities add love, which binds all things together in perfect unity. The peace that Christ gives us is to guide you in the decisions you make.

~Colossians 3:14-15 Good News Bible

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Insight + Endurance + Action = Change - Part 1

Numerous times I've asked God to help me with something so I could be better prepared for a difficult task. Insight is essential for inaugurating needed change. Insight may come immediately or gradually, but applying the insight and wisdom God gives is essential for change. God gives us determination to integrate insight into our behavior and thinking patterns.

This is where endurance, the second component of change comes into play.   What does the word endurance mean to you? Endurance has a stick-to-it attitude. God's word informs us that Jesus endured the cross, the humiliation, the shame and pain so we would not have to endure eternal separation from God.

The end result of endurance is confirmation by God. "He who endures to the end will be saved." We have an advocate who remembers, who never forgets, who provides help at just the right time. Endurance is supplemented with stamina, which is replenished as we stay true to our calling in Christ Jesus. 

Stressed-out Family? Seek Constructive Change - Part 1

Life is stressful, and learning to managing stress constructively is a necessity. Continuously struggling with stress produces tension and anxiety that trigger symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, and neck and back pain. Stress in children may be acted out behaviorally, like a six-year-old’s disruptive classroom antics brought on by his parent’s marital battles.

While it’s impossible to stress-proof your children or to protect them from troubles, you can help them cope with the uncertainties of life. Telling your children age-appropriate truth prepares them for reality. Imagine the parents of a four-year-old in divorce proceedings. The mother and child abruptly move to another state without preparing the child for these changes.

While it's not healthy to tell a four-year-old details of a nasty divorce, age-appropriate truth helps to prepare them for important changes and to reassure them of your love and commitment. Helping your child grieve and express anger in non-destructive ways can prevent unacceptable acting out. God will come to your aid when the storms of life seem overwhelming. 

Spiritual Integrity: Hope for the Family - Part 3

What does it take for the family to survive intact from all the troubles that are bound to surface? Family members will change, so wisdom and emotional energy are required to strengthen and hold the family together as it changes. The spiritual integrity of the family depends on parents' personal choices and what they model for their children.

The alternative is to avoid conflict and problems that are difficult to manage. It's an absolute necessity to believe the fact that the family is vulnerable to troubles, so taking time to evaluate priorities is a critical choice for strengthening the family. Few would argue that a successful career requires a constant investment of time and energy. Your time, skills and wisdom are a requirement for keeping your family together.

Prayer and determination are required for changing bad habits in the family system. The good news is that God stands ready to help by giving strength to the needy. Listen to Isaiah 12:2. "God is my savior; I will trust him and not be afraid. The Lord gives me strength and power." Hold fast to these promises.