What Is the Alternative to Criticism?

Domestic violence has expanded to include numerous offenses. What’s often overlooked is disparaging criticism that leaves no physical wounds but rather emotional damage that may never heal. Criticism’s purpose is to attack a person’s self-image through verbal assaults.

Everyone has been subjected to verbal abuse at some level. While criticism may not include hostile insults, irreparable damage may occur through innuendos that suggest character flaws the victim believes are true and accurate. Criticism can penetrate the vulnerable emotional shield of a child or an adult.

Jesus addressed the issue in Matthew 18:6: “If anyone should cause a child [or an adult], to lose their faith in me, it would be better for that person to have a large millstone tied around their neck and drowned in the deepest sea.” Domestic violence in any form is unacceptable to the Lord God, so ask him to send help now, today.

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Do all things without complaining or arguing, so that you may be innocent and pure as God’s perfect children, who live in a world of corrupt and sinful people.

~Philippians 2:14-15 Good News Bible

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So Why Should You Forgive?

It isn’t easy to forget an emotional wound that cut deeply and hurt so badly that it continuously feels active and new. Most people do not delight in reliving the past, yet it seems impossible to forget what was so painful. Forgiveness is possible even where hurt and anger are entrenched in your feelings and attitudes.

When you internalize anger and resentment, you turn these powerful emotions against yourself. These emotions damage your well-being by the stress they generate. By extending forgiveness to others, a wide range of benefits become available to you and the other person. Forgiveness is validated by actions and deeds.

Make up your mind to be forgiving for your own peace of mind and clear conscience. Forgiveness is made possible by believing God has forgiven you of every sin you’ve committed. God does not hold grudges, so follow his example by forgiving others. You will not regret it.   

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Jesus said: Don’t judge others, and God won’t judge you. Don’t be hard on others, and God won’t be hard on you. Forgive others, and God will forgive you.

~Luke 6:37 Contemporary English Version

 

My prayer for you, my very dear friend, is that you may be as healthy and prosperous in every way as you are in soul.

~3 John 1:2 Phillips – New Testament in Modern English

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Vengeance: Give It Up, Turn It Over

One alternative to forgiveness is vengeance, which is an obstacle to happiness. The purpose of vengeance can be to side-step other troublesome emotions, like betrayal and hurt which are too painful to face. A person’s heart and mind may become so preoccupied with vengeance, forgiveness seems completely out of the question.

Divorce has the capacity for birthing and nurturing vengeance. Decades after a divorce, disgust and hatred still can dominate the lives of those who once loved and cherished each other. Research indicates that the emotional wounds inflicted by what caused divorce may remain raw and unhealed for years. Forgiveness counseling helps to heal these wounds.

What produces an attitude of vengeance? Vengeance is driven by the need to punish, if only in a passive-aggressive mode. The tragedy of this attitude is the influence it has on your relationship with God. Why don’t you consider giving it up by turning it over to the Lord Jesus Christ? It would please him for you to do so.  

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Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbors as you love yourself. I am the Lord.

~Leviticus 19:18 Good News Bible

My children, let us love not merely in theory or in words – let us love in sincerity and in practice!

~1 John 3:18 Phillips – The New Testament in Modern English