What Negates Promises to Control Anger?

Resentment emanates from unresolved anger attached to emotional pain that refuses to be healed. Resentment may never be articulated but be retained silently and indefinitely. That’s why it takes the powerful touch of the Lord Jesus Christ to be healed spiritually and emotionally.

After an episode of expressed chronic anger, a person may promise never to let it happen again because the after-effect is pain and suffering for all involved. By acknowledging that accumulated anger transforms into resentment and contaminates your well-being, it is necessary to surrender your resentment to God’s forgiving power.

As you give yourself completely to Christ Jesus, he frees you from resentment’s power. By God’s grace you are in a position to forgive others, and as you keep your mind fixed on the presence of Christ in you, evil loses it power over you.

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Do what the Lord wants, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Let the Lord lead you and trust him to help.  

~Psalm 37:4-5 Contemporary English Version

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So Why Should You Forgive?

It isn’t easy to forget an emotional wound that cut deeply and hurt so badly that it continuously feels active and new. Most people do not delight in reliving the past, yet it seems impossible to forget what was so painful. Forgiveness is possible even where hurt and anger are entrenched in your feelings and attitudes.

When you internalize anger and resentment, you turn these powerful emotions against yourself. These emotions damage your well-being by the stress they generate. By extending forgiveness to others, a wide range of benefits become available to you and the other person. Forgiveness is validated by actions and deeds.

Make up your mind to be forgiving for your own peace of mind and clear conscience. Forgiveness is made possible by believing God has forgiven you of every sin you’ve committed. God does not hold grudges, so follow his example by forgiving others. You will not regret it.   

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Jesus said: Don’t judge others, and God won’t judge you. Don’t be hard on others, and God won’t be hard on you. Forgive others, and God will forgive you.

~Luke 6:37 Contemporary English Version

 

My prayer for you, my very dear friend, is that you may be as healthy and prosperous in every way as you are in soul.

~3 John 1:2 Phillips – New Testament in Modern English

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The Necessity for Realistic Expectations

It's exciting to go shopping for something new. After everything’s been signed, sealed and delivered, what may come as a surprise is buyer's remorse expressed in the form of sadness, anxiety, and worry. Happiness with events and purchases tends to wear off rather quickly as life returns to a normal, everyday pace.

If we expect a buying spree to close the gap in our relationships or within oneself, we’re soon disappointed that the emotional distance still exists. Not only disappointment, but anger or resentment may hang like a dark cloud overshadowing the happiness, joy, and peace we expected. So what is the solution?

Begin by realizing that inner peace and happiness can only be achieved by ridding oneself of all unrealistic expectations. Peace with others is achieved by accepting them as they are, including their limitations. Jesus asked you to forgive others so that you could enjoy the benefits of his forgiveness.  

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If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

~Romans 12:18 New International Version

 

Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Become mature, be encouraged, be of the same mind, be at peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you.

~2 Corinthians 13:11 Christian Standard Bible 

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Solutions for Conflict

Many families today are split up for numerous reasons including conflicts over selective lifestyles, recent graduations and employment, marriages and divorce, or hurt feelings that haven’t healed. Some family members just don't like each other. Witness Cain and Able, Jacob and Esau, the younger prodigal son and his older brother.

So what is a possible solution for these situations? Begin by asking yourself, is this what God expects of me? Depression may be linked to anger and bitterness turned inward with nowhere to go. Taking ownership and responsibility for family troubles is an important first step.

Releasing anger, hurt feelings, and resentment depends on a willingness to see your situation from God’s perspective. Realize that while forgiveness is ongoing, it eventually softens your heart toward others and yourself. While this is difficult, all things are possible with commitment and determination to do what God will bless. Ask God for courage to do your part.  

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Get rid of all bitter feelings, temper, anger, yelling, slander, and every way of hurting one another. Be kind to one another and tenderhearted, and forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.

~Ephesians 4:31-32 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today 

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