How Can We Manage Hurt Feelings, Jealousy, and Anger?

It’s normal to feel sympathy for someone in trouble. “Except for God’s grace, that could be me.” So we might feel sorry for Cain, who lured his brother into a field to murder him. Premeditated murder like this was motivated by a brother's feeling that he could not measure up to his younger sibling’s achievements.

Abel brought the best part of what he had, without hesitation, as an offering to God. Genesis 4:3 tells us Cain brought some fruit of the soil as an offering. So what was the problem with his offering? Perhaps it was like an afterthought, given without genuine or sincere commitment or love for God.

Somewhere along the journey of life, rejection or disfavor is sure to be experienced. Cain’s choice was choosing jealousy rather than questioning his own behavior and then changing his attitude. He could have apologized to God for his disturbed attitude concerning his offering, but he refused. God offers forgiveness to those who sincerely seek it.  

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Seek God while he’s here to be found, pray to him while he’s close at hand. Let the wicked abandon their way of life and the evil their way of thinking. Let them come back to God, who is merciful, come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

~Isaiah 55:6-7 The Message

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What Makes Offerings Acceptable to God?

Seeking revenge can become such an obsession that it evolves into a force that overshadows everything, including your relationship with the Lord God. Cain, the son of Adam and Eve, allowed anger, jealousy, and hurt feelings to possess him because his offering to God was rejected while his  brother’s gift was accepted.

Why was Cain’s offering unacceptable? If Cain’s values made him capable of murder, then he and his offering would be unacceptable until Cain was redeemed by God himself. Proverbs 20:17 confirms, “The sacrifice of the wicked is detestable no matter how perfect that offering appears visually.”

God looks at a person’s motivation, so if Cain’s offering was given grudgingly, then he did not have the right attitude for presenting his offering to God. 2 Corinthians 9:7 describes the correct motivation: “You should each give as you have decided, not with regret or out of a sense of duty, for God loves the one who gives gladly.”       

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Let us, then, always offer praise to God as our sacrifice through Jesus, which is the offering presented by lips that confess him as Lord. Do not forget to do good and to help one another, because these are the sacrifices that please God.

~Hebrews 13:15-16 Good News Bible 

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Solutions for Conflict

Many families today are split up for numerous reasons including conflicts over selective lifestyles, recent graduations and employment, marriages and divorce, or hurt feelings that haven’t healed. Some family members just don't like each other. Witness Cain and Able, Jacob and Esau, the younger prodigal son and his older brother.

So what is a possible solution for these situations? Begin by asking yourself, is this what God expects of me? Depression may be linked to anger and bitterness turned inward with nowhere to go. Taking ownership and responsibility for family troubles is an important first step.

Releasing anger, hurt feelings, and resentment depends on a willingness to see your situation from God’s perspective. Realize that while forgiveness is ongoing, it eventually softens your heart toward others and yourself. While this is difficult, all things are possible with commitment and determination to do what God will bless. Ask God for courage to do your part.  

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Get rid of all bitter feelings, temper, anger, yelling, slander, and every way of hurting one another. Be kind to one another and tenderhearted, and forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.

~Ephesians 4:31-32 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today 

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