What Is the Purpose of Placating Others?

Stress has the potentiality of becoming toxic to the human spirit and relationships. Some people believe the only way to manage stress is by placating, which means giving in rather than being confrontive where conflict is a possibility. The goal of placating is to please others so conflict can be avoided.

It’s not whether conflict or stress exists, but how they are managed. Most people placate others at times to reduce normal stress. However, there is an essential difference between pleasing others out of love and affection and pleasing to avoid conflict. Placating just to avoid conflict chips away at your integrity and self-respect.

Jesus rarely placated others who sought out conflict with him, nor did he attack those looking for conflict. Rather, Jesus met conflict in an intelligible manner by discussing issues, pointing out the truth from God’s word, and providing answers to tough questions. You can incorporate Jesus’ example into your life.

     

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[Jesus answered the Jewish authorities,] I am not looking for human praise ... You like to receive praise from one another, but you do not try to win praise from the one who alone is God; how, then, can you believe me?”

~John 5:41,44 Good News Bible

 

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, ... You have the words that give eternal life." 

~John 6:68 Good News Bible

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Can Activating your Faith Neutralize Stress?

Stress is an issue that each individual must learn to recognize and manage. Stress is caused by past experience, by what’s happening now and what may happen in the future. Yet stress can provide opportunities to be creative in developing management skills for solving problems and making future plans.

Fortunately, the majority of stress can be managed rationally if care is given to preventing it from accumulating to the point where it becomes overwhelming. A negative attitude creates stress and perpetuates it by long established negative thinking.

God never intended for you to languish in negative attitudes and thinking. Even in the worst situations, hope for solutions is possible where faith exists for God’s intervention. When faith is activated, stress loses power to sabotage God’s plans for you. Hope centers on God to provide solutions while faith provides energy to press onward regardless of obstacles.                          

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May the hope-inspiring God so fill you with perfect joy and peace through your continuing faith, that you may bubble over with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

~Romans 15:13 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

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How Can Stress Be Good for You?

Stress management is what every person attempts to do each day. Infants who feel stress have a way of the alerting parents or caretakers to their discomfort. Stress continues to be an issue at every phase of life since society is continuously changing and will generate feelings of fear and uncertainty.

Yet change can be challenging, even helpful, if hope for the future is built on faith in God’s promises. So stress can be good when it promotes a healthier lifestyle plus serves as motivation for trusting God’s purpose for your future. Life is not easy, but if you actually expect God to intervene, your faith will be your security.

There are individuals who believe all stress is bad because of the ways it affects their thinking and feelings. One way to reduce stress is to redefine your life based on God’s purpose for you. 

Can you say, “God knows every detail of my choices and still approves of my life?” If not, make the necessary changes so he will approve.          

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He has saved and called us to a holy life not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

~2 Timothy 1:9 New International Version

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Stress Management: God's Gift of Insight - Part 3

Have you wondered how children growing up in the same home can turn out so differently? Even when troubled families expose children to chaos and  violence, some manage to sidestep the dysfunction to establish successful lives. They have unique insight on how to avoid enmeshments that leave others in a state of hopelessness.

Gaining insight is a lifetime endeavor and becomes a lifeline for every stage of life. A man described how his eighty-year-old father had keen insight for managing the issues and stress of aging. Insight enables a person to withstand the turbulence and unpredictability of life. Insight builds competence for asking difficult questions and accepting hard answers.

One important insight is knowing God gives us peace when the stressors of life could be overwhelming. Proverbs points out the way. "Follow the steps of the godly and stay on the right path, for only the righteous enjoy life to the fullest." So search for godly role models and remember, Jesus challenges us to come and learn from him.  

Stress Management: God's Gift of Insight - Part 2

Have you ever had to confront a problem that was so important, you were willing to do whatever was required to find a solution? The insight gained from such an experience is a treasure worth keeping. Someone defined insight as "the mental habit of asking searching questions and giving honest answers." This is required for managing the reality of everyday stress.

Insight includes understanding and wisdom. Proverbs 1:7 asks this pertinent question: "How do people become wise?" The answers is "trust and reverence for God." Proverbs 2:1 gives another step. "Every person who listens and obeys God's instructions will be given wisdom and good sense." Insight and wisdom provide skills for managing the stressors of life.

Insight strengthens resilience, which enables God's people to manage stress appropriately. In the Gospels, Jesus consistently modeled insight and resilience which came from knowing God his Father and his Father's word. While we do not have perfect insight or understanding, God promises to give us wisdom when we ask for it.  

Stress Management: God's Gift of Insight - Part 1

Surviving from trouble in this world unscathed emotionally or physically is impossible. Yet some people believe they should be exempted from hardships. When the struggles of living surface God's goodness is questioned. Stress overload may cause the toughest personality to react in ways that are contrary to personal values and beliefs.

No matter what your status in life is, stress will seek you out because stress is a natural part of living. How it's managed determines whether it has a positive or negative effect on you as a person. God gives insight plus emotional and physical stamina for coping with stress, regardless of its source.

So how do you cope with unwanted stress? One way is to shift your focus from the source of agitation to whatever God has provided that makes your life worth living. Secondly, give thanks to God with a sincere, appreciative heart. "Count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what God has done." This will put a productive spin on stress management.  

Resisting Stress: God Empowers - Part 3

What's the greatest challenge you've had to face? For some people a challenge is welcomed. Challenge suggests that  a possibility for change exists. For others, challenge staves off boredom and stress, which is similar to pressure you feel when overloaded with too much to do and not enough time to get it done.

To feel challenged is an invitation to test your competence. Challenge demands engagement outside of what's commonplace. I'm not referring to extreme risk-taking, but being pushed to use your mental, physical, and spiritual capacity to do what's within your integrity and skills to do. Integrity implies strength of character to handle stress effectively.

Hardiness of character does not imply the absence of weakness, but rather the willingness to face challenges made possible by faith that comes as a gift from the Lord God. True disciples of Christ have weaknesses, but they know their purpose is to engage the world as a witness for Christ Jesus. This confidence provides strength to contend with the stress they're sure to encounter. 

Change, Challenge, and Convictions of Steel - Part 1

Stress is an inescapable fact of life. Too much stress interferes with job productivity and personal effectiveness in relationships. Physical pain and illness can be stress-related. Research indicates that it isn't situations that overload a person with stress, but how situations are perceived. Resilience, the ability to flow with life's events, is a major factor in limiting the effects of stress.

Resilience is attributed to emotional and physical hardiness. Hardiness indicates toughness of character, strong convictions, and the ability to endure change. People with hardiness of mind and soul have the ability to perceive change as a challenge that's intertwined with their convictions.

What builds convictions made of steel like those possessed by the Christians at Thessalonica? The Apostle Paul attributed this to their unrelenting, passionate faith in Christ Jesus. This gave hope for the future and determination to do the work Christ Jesus assigned them. While this is energizing, it also keeps stress at an acceptable level.