I’m consistently reminded how quickly children learn to defend their possessions. This demonstrates their first primitive act of setting boundaries. During the toddler stage, children use imperatives such as, "No!" “Stop!” and "That's mine!" They've also learned to coach others into play activities by means of persuasion.
When situations become tense, children blame others and fight to force change in their flavor. The objective of “fight language” is to create fear and force compliance with what is demanded. Fighting words are a communication style used to assert power and make intentions known.
No one likes to lose an argument, so aggressive language is used as a defense against being vulnerable and exposing weaknesses. Proverbs 15 gives us a better way. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.” Also, “The tongue of the wise brings healing as a tree of life.” This communication style can save a relationship. It’s worth the effort.
A quick-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person
stop them.
~Proverbs 15:18 New Living Translation
Good judgment proves that you are wise, and if you speak
kindly, you can teach others.
~Proverbs 16:21 Contemporary English Version
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