Explosive Anger Crushes Trust and Respect

Reactive anger not only strains a relationship to the point of obliteration but also can jeopardize a career. A young wife and mother received a stern warning from her supervisor for unrestrained verbal expressions of anger directed toward co-workers. Most individuals can refrain from venting their frustrations because it is inadvisable to do so.   

 

Reactive anger creates distrust. It makes forgiveness difficult because respect has been damaged. Forgiveness implies a willingness to return to normal fellowship if boundaries have been established over outbursts of anger. It's difficult to respect or trust anyone who does not have control over explosive anger. 

Human nature is designed to reject reactive anger. Forgiveness counseling helps a person discover what precipitates and perpetuates this emotion that allows boundaries to be rejected or disrespected. It is God's desire to instill his strength in everyone who seeks his help. Then the damaged fellowship with God and others can be restored. 

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Don’t let your spirit rush to be angry, for anger abides in the heart of fools.

~Ecclesiastes 7:9 Holman Christian Standard Bible

A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.

~Proverbs 15:1 Good News Bible

UnrestraineD ANGER >>> DANGER

While reactive anger can be abrupt and inflict permanent injuries, the possessor may never feel guilt or regret. How could this be? When anger is expressed, the possessor considers the consequences to be the fault of the one to whom the anger is directed. The holder of reactive anger is too self-centered to feel at fault.

Reactive anger is an unrestrained force levied against whomever is perceived as an enemy. The enemy could be anyone who happens to be within range of its fury. The trigger could be anything ranging from a minor to a major frustration, but usually it’s an accumulation of frustrations that may have nothing to do with the current issue.

The origin of reactive anger may point to an earlier emotional issue that never was resolved, but has the power to alienate family, friends or anyone exposed to its fury. Realize you do not have God’s permission to express this type of anger. You can learn to restrain it by seeking God’s help, by praying and by obtaining professional counseling. 

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Hot tempers start fights; a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.

~Proverbs 15:18 The Message

Stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don’t fret and worry – it only leads to harm. For the wicked shall be destroyed, but those who trust the Lord shall be given every blessing.

~Psalm 37:8-9 The Living Bible

Rein In Reactive Anger

The notion that anger is a realistic force in everyone's life is undeniable. For some, anger may be felt and aired without violence. Many people view anger as unhealthy and believe it must be controlled and subdued regardless of the situation or issue. Most people believe anger can be expressed, but within acceptable limits, to communicate disagreement.   

Reactive anger is expressed in response to being emotionally wounded or threatened. This type of anger is vented impulsively. Road rage is an example of reactive anger. Another instance is physically beating a person who is perceived as a threat. These examples portray out-of-control anger that is expressed violently. 

                                                                                   

Reactive anger can result in feeling remorse, but only after a cooling-off period. Remorse and guilt reflect the need for apologies and forgiveness. Forgiveness depends on acknowledging and resolving anger and bitterness. Begin by asking the Lord to give you the power and will to let go of the anger that is in control of you. This is entirely possible. 

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Don’t be a fool and quickly lose your temper – be sensible and patient.

~Proverbs 29:11 Contemporary English Version

An angry man does not do what is right before God.

~James 1:20 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today