Can Irrational Anger Be Managed?

Expressing anger can produce positive or negative results. The outcome is based not on whether anger is justified but on whether it is expressed in a rational way that can generate helpful solutions. Irrational anger damages relationships. David’s family experienced his irrational anger more than ever when it was empowered by alcohol.

On one occasion David reduced to rubble their furniture, electronics, and the children’s toys. That outburst of destructive anger separated him permanently from his family. No cries of regret could persuade his wife and children to return home. All trust and respect had been replaced with fear.

This result is not uncommon for irrational anger. Listen to James 1:20. “Everyone must be quick to listen and slow to speak, for anger will not result in the righteousness God desires.” There is help for out-of-control anger. God will give you the strength to be honest and to pursue help for this destructive affliction. 

                    

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The Lord is near to everyone who prays to him, to every faithful person who prays to him. He fills the needs of those who fear him. He hears their cries for  help and saves them.  

~Psalm 145:18-19 God’s Word Translation

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Rein In Reactive Anger

The notion that anger is a realistic force in everyone's life is undeniable. For some, anger may be felt and aired without violence. Many people view anger as unhealthy and believe it must be controlled and subdued regardless of the situation or issue. Most people believe anger can be expressed, but within acceptable limits, to communicate disagreement.   

Reactive anger is expressed in response to being emotionally wounded or threatened. This type of anger is vented impulsively. Road rage is an example of reactive anger. Another instance is physically beating a person who is perceived as a threat. These examples portray out-of-control anger that is expressed violently. 

                                                                                   

Reactive anger can result in feeling remorse, but only after a cooling-off period. Remorse and guilt reflect the need for apologies and forgiveness. Forgiveness depends on acknowledging and resolving anger and bitterness. Begin by asking the Lord to give you the power and will to let go of the anger that is in control of you. This is entirely possible. 

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Don’t be a fool and quickly lose your temper – be sensible and patient.

~Proverbs 29:11 Contemporary English Version

An angry man does not do what is right before God.

~James 1:20 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

Avoid Anger's Message – Ask God

Anger and fear are close companions. Both deliver the same message, “Fight or take flight.” When the message is “fight”, it may mean stand your ground, take offensive action either physically or verbally. An immediate adrenaline rush gives strength, courage and the ability to think faster for defending and protecting oneself.

Anger’s message may be to “take flight” to avoid conflict and harm. Jacob ran away from his brother to escape Esau’s intention to kill him. Jacob was possibly resentful and angry with his mother for talking him into deceiving his brother. He possibly felt resentful of Esau for being his father's favorite.

While anger and fear are inescapable, both can be managed in healthy, productive ways to prevent harm and hurt from developing in relationships. The first step is to admit these feelings exist. Then ask God for wisdom so a safe and healthy resolution can be forthcoming. Ask God for courage to follow his will and plan.