Keeping Emotions in Check

Effective communication builds a bridge to healthy family relationships, workplace success, and lasting friendships. Lack of communication leaves problems unresolved, creating a climate for negative emotions to erupt. Appropriate, beneficial communication positively affects one's frame of mind, disposition, and mood.

Improving communication skills is possible by making important personal changes. The first step is being aware of what affects you emotionally. Certain people and groups can have a negative impact on our disposition, so be alert and honest with yourself in order to utilize appropriate exits when needed.

A second step is to reveal hidden thoughts and feelings to a friend or counselor. Good, basic communication depends on patience, a clear mind, and a calm spirit. Hebrews 12:1 encourages you to "put into submission what hinders or entangles you in sin and then you can run the race of life by constantly fixing your eyes on Christ Jesus.” 

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A fool expresses all his emotions, but a wise person controls them.

~Proverbs 29:11 God’s Word Translation

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When Communications Collapse

Problems with communication are a phenomenon each individual will ultimately experience. Every relationship will eventually reach an impasse where communications break down.  An impasse occurs when a relationship becomes so emotionally charged, all motivation for rational discussion collapses.

When two strong-willed personalities are unwilling to admit bad judgement, a breakdown in communication follows suit. These individuals believe such an admission implies weakness or inferiority. Actually, honesty and truthfulness show integrity and strength of character, which prevent an impasse from taking place.

Proverbs 29:11 discourages permitting anger to evolve into rage, which destroys communications. Preventing a communication impasse begins with asking God for wisdom and applying that wisdom to accept the other person's perspective. As we seek forgiveness and reconciliation, the Lord Jesus Christ provides mercy for making that possible. 

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Deliver me, O Lord, from deceitful lips, from a lying tongue. What shall be given to you, and what more shall be done to you, you deceitful tongue?

~Psalm 120:2-3 English Standard Version

 Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.   

~Proverbs 21:23 The Message 

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Rein In Reactive Anger

The notion that anger is a realistic force in everyone's life is undeniable. For some, anger may be felt and aired without violence. Many people view anger as unhealthy and believe it must be controlled and subdued regardless of the situation or issue. Most people believe anger can be expressed, but within acceptable limits, to communicate disagreement.   

Reactive anger is expressed in response to being emotionally wounded or threatened. This type of anger is vented impulsively. Road rage is an example of reactive anger. Another instance is physically beating a person who is perceived as a threat. These examples portray out-of-control anger that is expressed violently. 

                                                                                   

Reactive anger can result in feeling remorse, but only after a cooling-off period. Remorse and guilt reflect the need for apologies and forgiveness. Forgiveness depends on acknowledging and resolving anger and bitterness. Begin by asking the Lord to give you the power and will to let go of the anger that is in control of you. This is entirely possible. 

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Don’t be a fool and quickly lose your temper – be sensible and patient.

~Proverbs 29:11 Contemporary English Version

An angry man does not do what is right before God.

~James 1:20 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

Life-Giving Trust

What image comes to mind when you hear the word control? Then consider the words power, freedom and unafraid of confrontation. Control has a healthy dimension as well as a pathological side that diminishes freedom of choice. Parents exercise a healthy control over children until they’re capable of good judgement and independence.

 

There is a fragile alliance between freedom and control, given that the alliance eventually builds a bridge toward independence, self-control and maturity. Two basic factors affect this alliance. Trust allows gradual independence for an adolescent on the way to young adulthood, and self-control implies good judgement is possible.

Life is full of situations that produce anxiety and insecurity. However, God offers us hope through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ which builds a bridge to inner peace and security. Proverbs 29:11 confirms that “A wise person keeps himself or herself under control.” With this as a consistent objective, problems are more manageable.