The Healing Force of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful healing forces mankind has the privilege of choosing. So, what prevents us from choosing forgiveness rather than bitterness or rage? If vengeance were cleansed from your emotions, you would then have to face the fact of pain and loss created by choices made by you or others.

A woman approaching her sixtieth birthday had divorced her husband thirty years earlier. Although remarried for twenty of those years, the woman’s anger and bitterness directed toward her first husband still surfaces with the slightest provocation. Consequently, an ever-present struggle with bouts of depression robs her of happiness and peace.

Divorce is difficult to forgive. One of the most perplexing steps in forgiveness is asking God to help you view someone as the Lord Jesus views him or her. Jesus came to seek and save the lost, so he sees everyone as worthy of forgiveness. Forgiving others is for your benefit as much as it is for the one who hurt you so deeply.

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Never take vengeance into your own hands, my friends; stand back and let God punish if he will. For it is written: “Vengeance belongs unto me; I will recompense,” says the Lord.

~Romans 12:19 Phillips – The New Testament in Modern English

The Lord Almighty says, “The day is coming when all proud and evil people will burn like straw. On that day they will burn up, and there will be nothing left of them. But for you who obey me, my saving power will rise on you like the sun and bring healing like the sun’s rays. You will be as free and happy as calves let out of a stall.”

~Malachi 4:1-2 Good News Bible

Rein In Reactive Anger

The notion that anger is a realistic force in everyone's life is undeniable. For some, anger may be felt and aired without violence. Many people view anger as unhealthy and believe it must be controlled and subdued regardless of the situation or issue. Most people believe anger can be expressed, but within acceptable limits, to communicate disagreement.   

Reactive anger is expressed in response to being emotionally wounded or threatened. This type of anger is vented impulsively. Road rage is an example of reactive anger. Another instance is physically beating a person who is perceived as a threat. These examples portray out-of-control anger that is expressed violently. 

                                                                                   

Reactive anger can result in feeling remorse, but only after a cooling-off period. Remorse and guilt reflect the need for apologies and forgiveness. Forgiveness depends on acknowledging and resolving anger and bitterness. Begin by asking the Lord to give you the power and will to let go of the anger that is in control of you. This is entirely possible. 

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Don’t be a fool and quickly lose your temper – be sensible and patient.

~Proverbs 29:11 Contemporary English Version

An angry man does not do what is right before God.

~James 1:20 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

Forgiveness – A Bridge Builder

Forgiveness is a bridge builder, yet forgiveness may appear so difficult that nothing could possibly heal the broken lives. Everyone who has harbored anger and bitterness knows the alienation and separation that accompany these feelings. The desire to forgive must accept being vulnerable to possible rejection.

Thank God rejection seldom happens, but it exists in those people whose objective is distance and isolation. Rejecting forgiveness may be present in those who refuse to trust and who use it as a means of wielding power over those who have caused pain. Lack of forgiveness can be as fierce as fire burning out of control.

Being unwilling to forgive can also be subtle like a simmering pot containing secret contents carefully hidden from the one who caused you pain and suffering. Fake smiles and friendly gestures may camouflage a lethal, angry attitude, yet with God’s mercy a bridge to forgiveness can be built. It's imperative to ask God to give you the desire to be forgiving.  

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Post this at all the intersections, dear friends. Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger.

~James 1:19-20 The Message

Most important of all, you must sincerely love each other, because love wipes away many sins.

~1 Peter 4:8 Contemporary English Version

Is Forgiveness Possible?

There are those who would argue that forgiveness is too difficult and furthermore you can never again trust someone who deliberately has caused pain and suffering. Evidence indicates, however, the one who forgives lives a healthier and happier life by letting go of anger and bitterness that reside in the heart and mind. Anger turned inward creates other health issues.

TV news featured a story about a businessman who one day didn't come home from work. He abandoned his wife, three children and a promising career. Twenty years later his oldest son made a concerted effort to find his father and finally found him in another state where he wasn’t lost, but deliberately hiding.

His father had chosen to be homeless and loved living on the street void of responsibility. After hours of conversation, this young man realized who his father had become. This was when forgiveness began to take place. While anger and bitterness dissolved, sadness remained because the loss of his father was permanent. Forgiveness is a step toward healing.  

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O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.

~Psalm 86:5 New Living Translation

I want you to know, my very dear friends, that it is on account of this resurrected Jesus that the forgiveness of your sins can be promised. He accomplishes, in those who believe, everything that the Law of Moses could never make good on. But everyone who believes in this raised-up Jesus is declared good and right and whole before God.

~Acts 13:38-39 The Message