Transformation? Praise, Don't Pout!

In the story of the Prodigal Son the father decided to acknowledge the demands of his younger son and give him his inheritance so he could leave home. The father yielded, knowing that the immaturity of his son could lead to disaster. The father was wise enough to know if he held on to his son, he would not have his son's commitment to lead a productive life. This son not only lost his inheritance but also came close to losing his life.

 

          When the son returned home broke, sick and ashamed, the father saw that a transformation had taken place. Gone were the arrogance, the self-centeredness and "I don't need you" attitude. Now there were humility, a sense of gratitude and a true repentant heart.

          The older brother refused to celebrate the transformation of his younger sibling. He chose to be angry and pout. Anger’s message in the older brother was, “All I’ve done is work to please my father and it means nothing to him.” The father's response to the transformation was like the angles who rejoice when a sinner repents and returns to God.

Why Anger?

Anger always has a message and a goal. Benjamin Franklin surmised that anger is never felt without a reason. When the older brother in the parable of the Prodigal Son became angry with his father for giving an extravagant party for the returning younger brother, he felt his anger was justified.

The father's efforts to console the older brother were brushed off. Listen to the father's appeal: "Your brother was dead but is now alive; he was lost but is now found." Still his anger could not be appeased. "I've always been responsible. I obeyed your every command, yet you never once gave me a party."

Anger’s underlying message was, “You love my brother more than me.” Anger's message rarely gets an in-depth examination of a situation because it blurs our vision and limits our range of hearing. The older brother could have asked, "What does my father see in my younger brother that I cannot see? What will I lose by remaining angry?" May God help you ask similar questions when you’re angry.  

Avoid Anger's Message – Ask God

Anger and fear are close companions. Both deliver the same message, “Fight or take flight.” When the message is “fight”, it may mean stand your ground, take offensive action either physically or verbally. An immediate adrenaline rush gives strength, courage and the ability to think faster for defending and protecting oneself.

Anger’s message may be to “take flight” to avoid conflict and harm. Jacob ran away from his brother to escape Esau’s intention to kill him. Jacob was possibly resentful and angry with his mother for talking him into deceiving his brother. He possibly felt resentful of Esau for being his father's favorite.

While anger and fear are inescapable, both can be managed in healthy, productive ways to prevent harm and hurt from developing in relationships. The first step is to admit these feelings exist. Then ask God for wisdom so a safe and healthy resolution can be forthcoming. Ask God for courage to follow his will and plan.