Transformation? Praise, Don't Pout!

In the story of the Prodigal Son the father decided to acknowledge the demands of his younger son and give him his inheritance so he could leave home. The father yielded, knowing that the immaturity of his son could lead to disaster. The father was wise enough to know if he held on to his son, he would not have his son's commitment to lead a productive life. This son not only lost his inheritance but also came close to losing his life.

 

          When the son returned home broke, sick and ashamed, the father saw that a transformation had taken place. Gone were the arrogance, the self-centeredness and "I don't need you" attitude. Now there were humility, a sense of gratitude and a true repentant heart.

          The older brother refused to celebrate the transformation of his younger sibling. He chose to be angry and pout. Anger’s message in the older brother was, “All I’ve done is work to please my father and it means nothing to him.” The father's response to the transformation was like the angles who rejoice when a sinner repents and returns to God.

Why Anger?

Anger always has a message and a goal. Benjamin Franklin surmised that anger is never felt without a reason. When the older brother in the parable of the Prodigal Son became angry with his father for giving an extravagant party for the returning younger brother, he felt his anger was justified.

The father's efforts to console the older brother were brushed off. Listen to the father's appeal: "Your brother was dead but is now alive; he was lost but is now found." Still his anger could not be appeased. "I've always been responsible. I obeyed your every command, yet you never once gave me a party."

Anger’s underlying message was, “You love my brother more than me.” Anger's message rarely gets an in-depth examination of a situation because it blurs our vision and limits our range of hearing. The older brother could have asked, "What does my father see in my younger brother that I cannot see? What will I lose by remaining angry?" May God help you ask similar questions when you’re angry.  

Celebrate or Excommunicate?

Have you noticed how anger can be detrimental to achieving a worthy goal? Anger has the capacity to surface with minimal prompting. The father of the prodigal son was so thankful to see his son alive that he called for an all-out celebration, proclaiming, “My son was dead but is now alive, was lost but is now found!”

The older brother would have nothing to do with the celebration. His anger was directed toward his brother for coming home alive, and he was even angrier with his father for treating this irresponsible son as a prince. Visualize the father running down the road to greet his son with hugs and kisses, then ordering a prime rib beef dinner to celebrate.

When the older brother learned of the joyful celebration, he was angry to the depths of his being. The goal of his anger was to spoil his father's joy because the father refused to disown his wayward son and excommunicate him from the family. God’s command is, “Be angry, but do not sin.” Anger always has a reason, but it may not be a good one.

Never Too Late to Change - Part 3

The parable of the prodigal son portrays a father vigilantly waiting for his lost son to come home. When this wayward son came into view, the father ran to meet him. The Living Bible tells us the father was "filled with loving pity and ran to hug and kiss his son." This father never gave up on his independent, self-indulgent, defiant son.

This father had the right to be angry and hurt. He could have said, "You're a disgrace to the family. You're not welcome here so keep on walking. I will not rescue you from the mess you've made of your life." These words would portray a father who refused to trust or forgive his son for the pain and suffering he caused.

However this man had already forgiven his son since a father's love is not dependent on whether his children are successes or failures. The father's faith never lost sight of the young man's potential, so he could encourage him to live up to that potential. God encourages us to model the father's faith and choices to forgive and renew trust.

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Never Too Late to Change - Part 1

The experiences of life, both positive and negative, work together to shape what we believe and how we behave. God designed us for growth, maturity, and change. An eighty-four year old woman proudly stated, "I'm still learning and changing." What we know and believe provides meaning and purpose to life.

When the prodigal son chose to go home and face his family, his attitude and mind-set had changed. His experience in the pig pen reshaped his entire belief system. He left home with an attitude of arrogance but returned with humility. Arrogance portrays false confidence. Humility reveals an attitude of flexibility, readiness to learn, and willingness to be transformed.

The father was so delighted to have his son back home that he celebrated by giving him a robe and ring and by throwing him a huge party. The pig pen experience helped the young man accept his father's love and generosity. This parable illustrates God's attitude toward us when we repent and return to him. 

Crisis and Reality - Part 3

Reality is an interesting word, given that individuals often perceive a situation or experience differently. The ability to manage reality in healthy ways  depends on the experiences, emotional stability, and character of each person. When loved ones go into the world to discover their reality, these choices can be painful and scary.

The father Jesus referred to in Luke 15 realized his son would embark on a  journey that was subject to failure, danger, or even death. Reality for the young man included a great adventure, success, and fun. The father's reality was the  potential loss of his son in addition to a substantial loss of wealth.

The father's wisdom allowed him to release rather than restrain his son. The father's faith in his son's ability to deal constructively with pig pen reality had to be a contributing factor in letting him go. Is this comparable to the faith and trust Christ Jesus has in us to make constructive choices when we face the reality of a crisis? It's something to consider.

Crisis and Reality - Part 2

In the parable of the prodigal son Jesus relates how a young man, his older brother, and a father came face to face with reality. The younger son demanded that his father immediately give him his inheritance. Days later this young man sold his inheritance, packed his stuff, and left home. What do you think the father felt as his son walked out the door?

If your children have left home or are ready to do so, maybe you can identify somewhat with the ambivalence this parent felt experiencing his son's leaving home to find his way in the world. Leaving home takes determination, courage, and dreams. It's not whether you leave home, but what attitude motivates you to do so.

In this parable the young man left home with false assumptions that evolved into a life-threatening crisis. Someone said, "We cling dogmatically to our assumptions as long as possible." We often experience pain and suffering by acting on false assumptions. Yet God in his mercy helps us correct the plunge into crisis and return to the loving Father's love and forgiveness.