Rising Up, Finding Hope - Part 1

Trust is an intellectual and emotional process that helps us to make sound judgments. Trust makes life normal and predictable by securing the safety and reliability of our relationships. Trust fights against anxiety and fear by activating faith in Christ Jesus. St. Paul challenged the fear of death by trusting that his faith in Christ Jesus would deliver him safely into the presence of God himself.

When the young man in Jesus' parable of the lost son faced an uncertain future and even death, he activated a fragile trust that had been overshadowed by a facade of self-confidence and false assumptions. Trust enabled him to deal effectively with a troubling, harsh reality.

Trust permits us to reframe a bad situation in order that a desirable outcome can be achieved. The prodigal son trusted his father to welcome him home where he could mature into the person God intended. Trust is the assured reliance on another's integrity. Trust is what God desires from us.

Consequences of Positive and Negative Reality - Part 1

Everyone has escaped or will feel the need to escape reality in some way. At the beginning my military basic training, a young man suffered a grand mal epileptic seizure. The medics took him away and we never saw him again. He thought he could leave his medical issues at home, so he enlisted in the Air Force and ceased taking his medications.

Making an all-out effort to escape dependence on medication and a negative identity, he devised a plan that was doomed to failure. The young man's denial encountered a harsh reality. Imagine returning home and carrying the burden of shame and humiliation.

The young man in Jesus' story of the prodigal son fostered fantasies that also would end in failure. When these fantasies became contaminated with the stench of a hog pen, his ability to deal constructively with that reality surfaced. Reality instilled in him determination to go home and face his father who loved him. Acceptance of reality activates God's help, so if the need exists, choose to return and renew your relationship with him now.

False Assumptions vs. Reality - Part 3

It's fair to say most people want to enjoy good relationships, find gainful employment, and feel secure. Achieving these goals rarely happens without some unexpected detours along the way. Can you imagine the worst possible situation you could experience? Perhaps you've been there, done that, but what helped you survive and face reality?

Jesus' parable of the prodigal son teaches us how to deal constructively with reality. The young man in the story left home with hopes and dreams for a wonderful life. Unfortunately, he lacked the maturity to make healthy, wise decisions. Consequently, he found himself in a desolate place feeding hogs to survive, which for him was the epitome of shame and humiliation.

What got him into trouble? He was arrogant and naive, which distorted his ability to deal effectively with reality. Most of us have been there or are presently on the way. The good news is, God permits us to make directional changes when we're mature enough to choose his plan and purpose for our lives.

Crisis and Reality - Part 3

Reality is an interesting word, given that individuals often perceive a situation or experience differently. The ability to manage reality in healthy ways  depends on the experiences, emotional stability, and character of each person. When loved ones go into the world to discover their reality, these choices can be painful and scary.

The father Jesus referred to in Luke 15 realized his son would embark on a  journey that was subject to failure, danger, or even death. Reality for the young man included a great adventure, success, and fun. The father's reality was the  potential loss of his son in addition to a substantial loss of wealth.

The father's wisdom allowed him to release rather than restrain his son. The father's faith in his son's ability to deal constructively with pig pen reality had to be a contributing factor in letting him go. Is this comparable to the faith and trust Christ Jesus has in us to make constructive choices when we face the reality of a crisis? It's something to consider.

Choosing Reality: For Today and Tomorrow - Part 1

The most difficult task of parenting is helping children develop the ability to deal constructively with reality. As a parent, you do your best to protect your child from physical harm. What parent would permit their toddler to play in the street or be near a swimming pool without constant supervision? Concerned  parents teach children how to deal effectively with reality.

Dealing constructively with reality assumes intelligence and aptitude for change. Every child within proper age range and with normal intelligence has the capacity for understanding and accepting facts pertaining of the real world. Reality becomes distorted for children and adults as they are being inundated with false information from those who appear trustworthy.

A truth to embrace is that God constantly holds us accountable for what we model to others, especially children. God gives us initiative and wisdom for making effective changes as we choose to commit our lives to him. God is faithful to forgive and cleanse from all unrighteousness when we confess and turn away from sin. This is God's reality.

Dealing Constructively with Reality - Part 3

A personal concept of reality is based largely on our spiritual beliefs, our political positions, and our beliefs of the right ways to function in society. Our concept of reality can be distorted when reality becomes what we want it to be. Our perception of truth can be based on facts and data that are less than accurate.

In recent months there has been a rash of killings by radicalized people who believed they were doing what was right and good. What happened to distort their concept of reality and truth? A middle school English teacher asked her students to write an essay on any topic of their choice. The majority wrote in graphic detail of the violence they believed comprised their world.

The role of parents has always been to teach and model for children healthy ways to deal effectively with reality. This includes making sure they have the ability to see and understand the truth of God's word and how it applies to their lives. God faithfully gives us insight and wisdom to help us manage reality.  

Dealing Constructively with Reality - Part 2

It is not unusual for a friend or parent to offer words of caution when they observe us approaching a painful situation. God also is working to guide and direct us by whatever means he chooses. However we're at liberty to ignore every concerned voice offering caution and guidance, even the voice of God himself.

Dealing effectively with reality must include our willingness to consider the unsolicited advice and guidance of others. The eagerness to consider another person's perspective indicates a belief that God works through other people to help us define and clarify direction for our lives. Being unwilling to listen to other voices can flaw our ability to make effective decisions.

Dealing constructively with reality may require asking God and others for help. David, Israel's greatest king, often found himself in this position. In Psalm 51:12 he pleads with God to restore the joy of his salvation and to grant him a willing spirit so he could be sustained as he faced a difficult situation. This can be your choice.  

Dealing Constructively with Reality - Part 1

Reality is what we believe is absolutely true. When reality is painful and difficult to face, the truth as we see it can become distorted, denied, or avoided. Some people say exactly what they think regardless of how those words hurt others. When confronted with how their words emotionally devastate others, a common response is, "I'm being myself and speaking the truth."

Dealing constructively with reality requires admitting that hurtful behaviors damage relationships. Failure to face this truth takes place when emotional damage is blamed on something other than a critical attitude. Criticism is capable of destroying trust and of making a friendship or relationship undesirable.

Caring enough to confront is risky because the capacity to change may be limited or absent. Rejection produces sadness, but can be dealt with constructively when we allow it to help us face reality and change. Jesus was consistently bombarded with criticism, but his approach was to confront the truth with love and forgiveness.  

Facing Tough Realities: Pressing On - Part 3

Some people are sadly lacking in the desire to deal constructively with reality even when confronted with undeniable facts. Dealing constructively with reality often requires letting go of what is unattainable. This also applies to being rejected. Feelings of rejection can be difficult to manage in healthy ways.

Jesus wept over the people of Jerusalem when they refused to accept him. The people he would die for saw him as undesirable. Grieving is a choice and is God's way for managing rejection. Where does the ability and desire to grieve come from when we are forced to deal constructively with the harsh realities of life?

Using Jesus as our model for managing the reality of rejection, we find that he never lost sight of who he was or of his purpose. He was willing to see other choices for his immediate situation. It's important to have long-term goals for making healthy choices when change is required. Ask Christ Jesus to give you courage to press on toward what you know to be God's purpose for you.  

Facing Tough Realities: Pressing On - Part 2

Some realities of life seem impossible to accept. A common response is to deny their existence. Dealing constructively with reality requires admitting all is not well. A popular song put it this way, "I never promised you a rose garden." God does not promise us a life absent of problems and harsh realities.

However, believing life is manageable with God's help opens the door for healthy change. Power struggles most often center around denial of reality. For example, striving with others to change their behavior or personality creates an attitude of hopelessness. Only Christ Jesus can change a person, but he will do so only with their consent and submission.

Ask yourself, "What do I need to see and hear to make sure I'm facing God's crucial realities for my life?" Dealing constructively with whatever those realities happen to be and asking God to empower you to change are choices you can make. Permitting God to speak to you through his word and by spending time in prayer are reliable sources for help.  

Facing Tough Realities: Pressing On - Part 1

The facts of reality are not always easy to accept, but most individuals  eventually face what cannot be denied. The issue is learning how to deal constructively with reality, which is a basic principle for making choices for effective change in difficult situations. This applies to power struggles where   striving for dominance and control jeopardize a relationship.

Someone told me he finally realized the futility of fighting with his wife. A deeper hurt was the lack of closeness and loneliness they both experienced. Quarreling proved to be a "no win" situation as the main issue failed to be addressed. Getting bogged down in power struggles overlooks areas where there is compatibility for potential happiness.

Dealing constructively with reality requires making some tough choices. What appears impossible can become workable by accepting the positive attributes about a person or relationship. Being flexible enough for God to create an attitude of hope in you is a choice you can make. Hope that rests in Christ Jesus builds confidence for facing tough realities.