Crisis and Reality - Part 2

In the parable of the prodigal son Jesus relates how a young man, his older brother, and a father came face to face with reality. The younger son demanded that his father immediately give him his inheritance. Days later this young man sold his inheritance, packed his stuff, and left home. What do you think the father felt as his son walked out the door?

If your children have left home or are ready to do so, maybe you can identify somewhat with the ambivalence this parent felt experiencing his son's leaving home to find his way in the world. Leaving home takes determination, courage, and dreams. It's not whether you leave home, but what attitude motivates you to do so.

In this parable the young man left home with false assumptions that evolved into a life-threatening crisis. Someone said, "We cling dogmatically to our assumptions as long as possible." We often experience pain and suffering by acting on false assumptions. Yet God in his mercy helps us correct the plunge into crisis and return to the loving Father's love and forgiveness.

Dealing Constructively with Reality - Part 1

Reality is what we believe is absolutely true. When reality is painful and difficult to face, the truth as we see it can become distorted, denied, or avoided. Some people say exactly what they think regardless of how those words hurt others. When confronted with how their words emotionally devastate others, a common response is, "I'm being myself and speaking the truth."

Dealing constructively with reality requires admitting that hurtful behaviors damage relationships. Failure to face this truth takes place when emotional damage is blamed on something other than a critical attitude. Criticism is capable of destroying trust and of making a friendship or relationship undesirable.

Caring enough to confront is risky because the capacity to change may be limited or absent. Rejection produces sadness, but can be dealt with constructively when we allow it to help us face reality and change. Jesus was consistently bombarded with criticism, but his approach was to confront the truth with love and forgiveness.