What's the Purpose of Healthy, Productive Anger?

A state of anger exists when individuals embrace indiscriminate power to hurt and alienate those who should be loved and respected. When anger is turned loose in an emotionally charged setting, the objective is to damage those responsible for the problems.

For some, this defines justifiable anger, but it comes from a person who’s determined to protect and defend their vulnerable self. For that person, anger is now rationalized as an offensive measure designed to get even by means of punishment. Anger and punishment then embrace each other as allies.

Healthy, productive anger management, however, determines to use this powerful emotion for creating solutions for all involved. Listen to Psalm 85:10: “Love and faithfulness will meet; righteousness and peace will embrace. Human loyalty will reach up from the earth, and God’s righteousness will reach down from heaven” to those who determine to be peacemakers. Will you? 

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A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. ...God doesn’t miss a thing – he’s alert to good and evil alike. Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

~Proverbs 15:1,3-4 The Message

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Self-Monitoring: Essential for Effective Communication

Discord eventually makes its presence known in every relationship. Differences in personalities create dissension, which interferes with effective communication that’s essential for addressing difficult issues. Personality differences in thinking patterns and feelings emphasize how easily conflict can be triggered.

The first principle of effective communication is self-monitoring. Being able to effectively communicate reduces tension and stress, especially when each person’s viewpoint is respected. This can be done by monitoring your thoughts and feelings so what is verbalized doesn’t evolve into conflict. Verbal and nonverbal feedback influence how problem-solving is managed.

Self-monitoring helps filter what to verbalize and when to remain silent. God's word discourages conflicts and chaos, but it confers blessings to those who make unity and harmony their primary objective. “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God.” These are words of encouragement from Jesus and are worthy of following.  

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You will say the wrong thing if you talk too much – so be sensible and watch what you say.

~Proverbs 10:19 Contemporary English Version

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Mastering Attitudes – Making Peace

If you were to construct a definition of happiness, what would you include? Would your definition include only what you’ve experienced or what you would like to experience? It's difficult to admit the role we play in creating our own unhappiness, so we blame others for our despair. What about believing we bear no responsibility for someone else’s happiness?

What contributes to an overall sense of happiness is being able to have mastery over the good and bad events we experience. Mastery does not rule out what is unpredictable or uncontrollable but does embrace managing one's life so that the effects of unhappy events can be limited.

Happiness derives from learning how to sidestep negative situations. At this level of awareness and insight, we realize attitudes and behaviors can be changed. With anger and blaming diminished, making peace can become a reality. "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons and daughters of God." What a wonderful blessing Jesus has secured for you. 

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Happy are those who work for peace; God will call them his children!

~Matthew 5:9 Good News Bible

So then we eagerly go after the things which mean peace and by which we help one another grow. 
~Romans 14:19 Beck – New  Testament in the Language of Today

Turn away from evil and do good; strive for peace with all your heart.
~Psalm 34:14 Good News Bible