What Makes Internalized Anger Destructive?

Anger can be a driving force that seeks to correct what is wrong within a relationship and within oneself. It can be a source for destructive behavior leading to alienation. Internalized anger becomes a barrier to fellowship and intimacy by creating emotional distance. Internalized anger occurs by suppressing its expression.

Mistakes in perception create anger that can be sustained for a lifetime. The younger brother in the parable of the Prodigal Son came home needing support and help after sinking so low physically and emotionally that death was imminent. The older brother had zero tolerance for his brother’s mistakes and bad choices.

The older brother misjudged his father’s joy when his younger son returned safely home. He mistakenly perceived the father’s joy as rewarding his brother’s irresponsibility, while never having rewarded his hard work. God never overlooks sin but forgives where there is repentance and regret.                            

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If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge… – get over it quickly, for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.

~Ephesians 4:26-27 The Living Bible

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Change Needed? Face It and Act Today!

When life gets out of control, the most common response is anger because of the loss of personal power. When Jacob marshaled all his courage, gathered his family and set out for his homeland, his father-in-law Laban was fit to be tied. Jacob feared his father-in-law would take possession of all he owned, including his wives and children. 

 

          Jacob could never stand up to his father-in-law, so resentment and anger had to be suppressed. We often resent a person's ability to take charge, to be in control and dominate a situation. So suppressing anger is one way to manage it, and we do so by pretending that it doesn't exist or that whatever caused it is of no importance. 

          Everyone is capable of anger, but who can express it in beneficial ways? We're often afraid of anger, even our own. We feel angry when something has gone awry, when changes need to be made but we’re fearful of making the needed changes. “Never let the sun go down on your anger” means facing needed change and acting on it.

Let It Go – Let God Repay

Jealousy interferes with the capacity to think logically, for its motives are wrong and sinful. Rachel desperately wanted children, so she gave her maidservant Bilhah to her husband Jacob as a surrogate wife to have children in her place. In the strictest sense, this was permissible according to the ethics of the day. Spiritually, it was not acceptable because anger and jealousy existed in Rachel’s heart for her sister Leah.

Rachel wanted to get even with Leah, so when Bilhah conceived and gave birth to two sons, Rachel proclaimed God had heard her plea. However, when jealousy is the motivating factor behind any behavior, God does not approve.

Jealousy overrules love and logic. If jealousy is occupying a place in your heart, let it go by asking God to bless the person that’s the object of the jealousy. This is how you turn it over to God. He emphatically states: "Vengeance is mine. I will repay." Believe God and trust Him.

Chasing the Winds of Jealousy and Envy

The pursuit of jealousy’s demands is comparable to chasing the wind. Can you imagine someone chasing the wind, trying to capture it for some emotional purpose? Solomon observed that "all labor and all achievements spring from man's jealousy of his neighbors." He added, “This is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” 

Rachel's jealousy pushed her to outdo her sister, win at any cost, even destroying the bond of love that may have existed. Jealousy moves in progressive steps, spiraling ever upward, gaining intensity and power over rational and sensible thinking. When jealousy spirals into rage, turning back may become impossible.

It's critical to get immediate control of jealousy. Jealousy can be managed, so never let the sun go down harboring it in your thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge its presence and root by confessing it, then repent and turn away from it. Seek forgiveness by turning it over to God. He will heal you of this sickness.