Is There Any Possible Benefit in Spoiling a Child?

A primary parental task is teaching children to say, “Thank you,” and to be sincerely thankful. This is a worthwhile goal because children tend to be self-centered. Sincere gratitude is learned where there are appropriate boundaries overlayed with kindness and gentleness as you model for them an attitude of gratitude for what God provides.

Parents mistakenly believe children feel worthwhile if they have everything they want. Providing for children in abundance will not make them appreciate you but may produce ingratitude that comes from over-indulging them and making extreme attempts to please them. Who is your role-model for parenting?

Most parents know what’s good and healthy for children and do their best to model for them values that will help them as adults. Jesus said in John 13:15, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” It’s not too late so begin displaying appreciation and thanksgiving to God for his goodness.                        

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Parents,…raise your children properly. Teach them and instruct them about the Lord.

~Ephesians 6:4 Contemporary English Version

 

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love and his kindness go on forever.

~1 Chronicles 16:34 The Living Bible

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Reset Priorities to Create Harmony and Acceptance

Competition exists in most loving relationships. Sibling rivalry is commonplace even though it fosters conflict. Marriage partners may compete for recognition, which can create discord within the marriage. Eddie and Joanne are high-achieving professionals driven to be successful. When they arrive home each evening, they continue working on projects, giving minimal time to their young daughters and each other.

Behavioral problems and dismal academic grades have forced Joanne and Eddie to seek counseling for their daughters. The two girls compete with each other for negative attention, which they consider better than being totally ignored and neglected. These sisters have everything materially. What is non-existent in their lives are expressions of love and affection and special time spent with their parents.

Remember, a husband or wife as well as children are special gifts from God to be cherished and loved rather than neglected. Realigning priorities is not only a possibility but a necessity, especially in a rushed and conflicted world. Ask God to help you be committed to this task.  

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Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?

~Psalm 127:3 The Message

And now a word to you parents: Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves.

~Ephesians 6:4 The Living Bible

You must be very careful not to forget the things you have seen God do for you. Keep reminding yourselves and tell your children and grandchildren as well.

~Deuteronomy 4:9 Contemporary English Version

The Awful Truth of Favoritism

Jacob was his mother’s favorite son, so he set up the same system with Joseph, his firstborn son with Rachel. The favoritism Jacob felt is stated in Genesis 37:3: “Now Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other sons and made him a beautiful ornate coat.” Jacob’s prejudice caused hatred and resentment to intensify between Joseph and his brothers. Hatred and resentment nourished by envy give rise to strife and alienation. 

Try to imagine parents today giving their youngest son or daughter an expensive sports car after passing down used family sedans to their older children. This favorite son or daughter is given credit cards while the older children work to pay for gas, insurance and repairs. 

Displaying favoritism hurts everyone. The favorite child often suffers from being indulged. If this child has a conscience, guilt will be an issue because he or she knows it isn't right. Parents have the responsibility to love their children with impartiality. God is impartial with us, so parents are summoned to follow his example.

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Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction.

~EPHESIANS 6:4 Good News Bible

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.

~JAMES 2:8-9 New International Version