Can Self-deception Be Avoided?

Self-deception becomes a major player in your life when you convince yourself it’s acceptable to engage in behaviors that betray a code of conduct honored by God and society. Betraying spiritual boundaries and Christian values to satisfy the desires of the heart should result in guilt and shame.

Self-deception is pervasive, whether it’s defined as insignificant or atrocious. Does God care what you think or do as long as you accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord? Galatians 6:3 issues this warning: “If anyone thinks he is something when he is not, he deceives himself. Each should test his own motives and actions.”

Listen to the truth of God’s word from Jesus: “Broad is the way that leads to destruction…but narrow is the way that leads to life.” God’s desire is that you face the truth and live within that truth. You are not alone in this difficult task. The Holy Spirit will strengthen and guide you as you commit yourself to continuously live for him. 

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Always do what the Word says; don’t merely listen to it and so deceive yourselves.

~James 1:22 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

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Does Delayed Action Set You Up for Failure?

Have you ever made a promise that was extremely difficult to keep? Most everyone will surely answer with a firm, yes. Perhaps it’s time to reassess your situation since keeping a promise back then was too problematic. However, delaying to take responsibility now will not dissolve feelings of guilt and shame.

Failing to keep a promise to yourself, others, and God often gives birth to negative consequences that can follow you for a lifetime. The most persistent emotions to surface after guilt and shame are anxiety and fear. To clear your conscience, it’s critically important to apologize and seek forgiveness.

This crucial step will include some degree of suffering but listen to Psalm 119:49-50. “O Lord, remember your promises to me your servant. They have given me hope. Even in my suffering I was comforted because your promise gave me life.” As you determine to keep your promises now, the Lord God will be your source of strength and courage to do what is right.    

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God made great and marvelous promises, so that his nature would become part of us. Then we could escape our evil desires and the corrupt influences of this world.

~2 Peter 1:4 Contemporary English Version

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Bridging a Wall of Isolation

Adam and Eve realized they were outside of God's favor after ignoring the boundaries set for them in the Garden. With a strange, new self-consciousness of guilt and shame, they covered their bodies and hid from God. They were now aware that their choices resulted in their loss of freedom and that forgiveness was the way for regaining that freedom.

Appropriate guilt and shame as well as empathy for the offended person creates the will to earnestly push toward forgiveness. If denials and rationalizations are allowed to overrule reality, then a wall of isolation gets constructed that will endanger a relationship.

 

Acknowledgment of an offense doesn't guarantee reconciliation. However, it gives the offender the option to seek forgiveness with hopes for reconciliation. Choosing to forgive or not to forgive is a choice between good and evil, but choosing forgiveness is choosing freedom from the burden of guilt and shame. The Holy Spirit creates in you the desire to seek forgiveness.  

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O Lord, our God, you answered your people; you showed them that you are a God who forgives, even though you punished them for their sins.

~Psalm 99:8 Good News Bible

So I confessed my sins and told them all to you. I said, “I’ll tell the Lord each one of my sins.” Then you forgave me and took away my guilt.

~Psalm 32:5 Contemporary English Version

From Jealousy to Generosity

Even the noblest person is subject to jealousy when circumstances become threatening. To be generous and noble toward someone who is the object of jealousy requires sincere acts of generosity to diminish its power. Jealousy is shameful because its objective is another's misery, which violates God’s law to love one another.

          The motivation for overcoming jealousy and envy is to avoid thoughts and acts of malice. Malice is a state of mind that seeks pain, suffering and injury to others. These behaviors result in guilt, and guilt demands pardon and forgiveness. 

          To be liberated from jealousy and envy requires a process of being made new spiritually in one's mind. Only as you permit your mind to be transformed by the saving power of Christ Jesus can you experience being made new. The Apostle Paul instructed us to be imitators of Christ Jesus, meaning to give ourselves to others as Jesus gave himself up for us. 

The Tragedy of Self-Deception

What lies at the core of self-deception? Usually it includes a desire for something that is unacceptable. Self-deception is comparable to experimenting with drugs and convincing oneself that getting hooked will not happen. Conventional wisdom declares, "If you play with fire, you’ll get burned." Self-deception's reply is, “Not me! I'm too smart."

 

Self-deception refuses to accept reality. A man or a woman agrees to an affair by being convinced it can be hidden and kept secret. A worse rationale is, "I’ll be able to handle it by extinguishing the fire if I get caught and convince others it didn’t mean anything." Some believe guilt and shame will be powerless and of no consequence.

The tragedy of self-deception is, it shuts down a part of you that is necessary to happiness and peace. It suffocates the potential for healthy relationship by closing down trust and truthfulness. Self-deception refuses to believe that God has a better plan, which is openness and honesty. Ask God to help you and he will. 

 

An Unhealthy Alliance

Children are astute in observing parental responses to their personalities, behaviors and giftedness. A parent may give consent to unacceptable behavior knowing it builds a bridge to trouble. This dynamic existed between Rebekah and her favorite son Jacob. It was an unhealthy alliance that permitted Jacob to trade a bowl of soup for his brother Esau’s birthright.

 

You might side with Jacob and say Esau shouldn’t have been so stupid. That trade could be compared to swapping a four-year college education for a combo meal at a fast food restaurant. Anger and remorse are emotions felt toward oneself or others after an impulsive act, but Jacob apparently didn’t feel guilt or shame for his behavior.

Before the twins’ birth, God told Rebekah Jacob would rule over Esau, so she favored Jacob, which meant her love was stronger for him. This being the case, it had to have been obvious to both boys. God prefers parents love each child equally because his love is unconditional. Let us give thanks and praise to him for this wonderful blessing.