Leaving Home

Jacob grew up feeling a deep sense of attachment to his mother. His brother Esau was close to the father. We see this same dynamic in contemporary families even though the circumstances and culture are different. Personality and temperament can influence a child to identify with one parent, which gives the appearance of favoritism and paves the way for sibling rivalry.

Favoritism most often opens the door for self-centeredness. Self-centeredness can be so deliberately expressed, there can be no mistake identifying it. On the other hand, self-centeredness can be expressed so creatively, you may feel that person is doing you a favor by using you for their good.

Self-centeredness can be linked to feelings of fear and inadequacy, leaving a person believing if they look right, act right, these feelings will remain concealed. When we commit our deficiencies to Christ Jesus, they lose their power to control our lives. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Have you committed your life to Jesus? Why not do it now?

Playing Favorites

It’s an awesome experience to know God's unconditional love as opposed to conditional love. What’s the difference? Conditional love requires approved behavior, meaning if you perform correctly you have approval and acceptance. If you do not meet this standard then you’re out of the circle of approval.  What does unconditional love mean to you?

Unconditional love means you do not have to be perfect to be approved, but that doesn’t give you a license to sin. Unconditional love builds a bridge to the desire to resist basic impulses while encouraging mature choices. Parental favoritism eliminates unconditional love because favoritism is filled with messages of conditional love.

Jacob and Esau grew up in a divided family. Jacob was Rebekah’s favorite and Esau was Isaac’s favorite. This dynamic set the stage for family members to be in permanent conflict. Unconditional love, as much as is humanly possible, pulls the family together by building a bridge to strong bonds that last a lifetime.  

An Unhealthy Alliance

Children are astute in observing parental responses to their personalities, behaviors and giftedness. A parent may give consent to unacceptable behavior knowing it builds a bridge to trouble. This dynamic existed between Rebekah and her favorite son Jacob. It was an unhealthy alliance that permitted Jacob to trade a bowl of soup for his brother Esau’s birthright.

 

You might side with Jacob and say Esau shouldn’t have been so stupid. That trade could be compared to swapping a four-year college education for a combo meal at a fast food restaurant. Anger and remorse are emotions felt toward oneself or others after an impulsive act, but Jacob apparently didn’t feel guilt or shame for his behavior.

Before the twins’ birth, God told Rebekah Jacob would rule over Esau, so she favored Jacob, which meant her love was stronger for him. This being the case, it had to have been obvious to both boys. God prefers parents love each child equally because his love is unconditional. Let us give thanks and praise to him for this wonderful blessing.