Communicating with the Golden Rule

All communication reaches out to others for a specific purpose or benefit. Not all communication seeks the wellbeing of others. That's why so much of what is said is critical and negative rather than affirming and positive. When my objective is to build the character and self-esteem of others, then I am following the Golden Rule.

When negative, critical words are directed toward someone to reduce their self-esteem, the consequence should be an uneasy sense of guilt and shame. Communication was given by God to bring joy and pleasure to each person, which in turn ultimately contributes to a sense of belonging and completeness.

Success in relationships depends on a commitment to communicate openly and truthfully. What helps in times of stress is this prayer, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord my God." Communication is indeed a source of joy and wholeness when it’s pleasing to Christ Jesus.

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Then you must practice dealing with others as you would like for them to deal with you; for this is the summing up of the law and the prophets.

~Matthew 7:12 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

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A Long Look into the Mirror

Staying healthy and functioning in a turbulent world demands honesty with yourself and those with whom you share relationships. Honesty is obtained by looking long and hard in the mirror and asking yourself, “How far am I willing to go to satisfy my ambitions?”

A good friend ignored all the warning signs that told him to slow down and consider the price he was paying for his definition of success. He justified the absence of his inner peace by allowing ambition to sweep aside God’s word, “Do unto others as you would want them to do to you.” Did you get that?

At the peak of this friend's success and despair, God sent a messenger of hope, reminding him he could change and make amends for the wrongs he had committed. Ambition can be redirected for good rather than for purely selfish gain. Jesus’ ambition was to do his Father’s will regardless of the price, even death on the cross. It was for your benefit and your salvation that His ambition was realized. Give thanks to God for his grace and mercy.  

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Don’t do anything from selfish ambition or from a cheap desire to boast, but be humble toward one another, always considering others better than yourselves. And look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own. The attitude you should have is the one that Christ Jesus had.

~Philippians 2:3-5 Good News Bible

Now we see by a mirror and are puzzled, but then we’ll see face to face. Now I learn only a part of anything, but then I’ll know as He has known me.

~1 Corinthians 13:12 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

Values: Boundary Markers for Living - Part 1

Ernest Hemingway won the Pulitzer Prize and the Nobel Prize for Literature yet found it difficult at times to write a significant beginning sentence that portrayed a truth. While Hemingway is considered to have been a true American literary genius, his value system brought him intense pain and suffering which resulted in his eventual suicide.

Hemingway continuously sought to prove himself through his famous African safaris, his drinking ability, sportsmanship, and exploits with women, but discovered that permanent peace did not exist for him. A Quaker proverb addresses caring for and loving yourself. "It is true that each person has integrity that can be damaged and diminished by choices that person makes."

Your integrity is intricately connected to your value system, so your values either strengthen or weaken your integrity. Jesus posited a blueprint for guarding your integrity. "Love the Lord God with your whole being and your neighbor as yourself." "Do to others as you would have them do to you" is a choice God will bless while strengthening your integrity.

Golden Opportunities: Hard Choices - Part 2

When Jesus said, "Whatsoever you wish men would do to you, do so to them," he was teaching that the essence of righteousness is constructively doing good, not just avoiding sin. It means to create opportunities to do good by being proactive, earnestly seeking to incorporate this command into everyday life. It may require stretching to the limits of your sincerity, faith and patience.

Don't be fooled into thinking you can achieve this command in your own strength. It’s the presence of the Holy Spirit reminding, enabling and encouraging you to seize the moment. "Whatsoever you wish men would do to you," demands a desire to see good things happen to others.

The statement, "You never know what life is like for others until you have walked in their shoes," involves imagining yourself in that person’s position regardless of who that person happens to be. How about that? Would you even consider it? This is what the Golden Rule is asking you to practice each day.  

Must I Really Love THAT Person? - Part 1

Jesus taught that “the second part of the greatest command to love God with all your heart, soul and mind was to love your neighbor as yourself.” A neighbor could be anyone who is difficult to love. Who would that be in your life? Remember, what Jesus commands, he makes possible.

In George Bernard Shaw's play, The Ideal Husband, one character proclaims, "To love yourself is the beginning of a life-long romance with yourself." Is this what Jesus’ intended in his command to "love your neighbor as yourself? Not if loving yourself means extreme self-indulgence and self-centeredness.

Jesus intends for you to value and care for yourself as God's property. Some people refuse to take this command seriously until there's a crisis or it’s too late to do so. Jesus also said, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" for "I solemnly say to you, every time you do a good deed to one of these most insignificant people, you do it as a good deed for me." Something to think about and follow through on. 

Keep Your Values in Focus - Part 1

When values become an issue in the political arena, you can be sure the family, church, and schools have failed, either by choice or default. While values determine the fate of a family or nation, they coincidentally may be seldom practiced or nurtured. One way of explaining values is to speak of taking the high road or the low road throughout life.

Once when I went hunting with my father-in-law, to our dismay we discovered several dead deer along a country road. Someone had used a powerful spot light and rifle the night before to kill the deer just for fun. This senseless killing angered my father-in-law because it collided with his values.

What you value about life and God’s creation can measure what you value about yourself. Jesus gave this guideline for living, centered in the Golden Rule. "Do not do to others what would anger you, if the same were done to you." God loves all of creation enough to look forward to its redemption, so honor what God created and loves. 

Rich Rewards from the Golden Rule - Part 3

Why should anyone take the Golden Rule seriously? The Golden Rule negates selfishness, but moreover it saves a person from himself. "Do unto others" means extending yourself to others.  It means giving yourself to others, not only giving, but giving with the right attitude.

In his book, Thanks Be unto God, Robert Rodenmayer offers three kinds of giving: grudge giving, duty giving, and thanksgiving. “Grudge giving says, ‘I hate to;’ duty giving says, ‘I ought to;’ thanksgiving says, ‘I want to.’ Grudge giving comes with restraint, duty giving says I’m obligated, thanksgiving is done with a heart of gratitude and opens the gate to God’s love."

Link "do unto others" as giving with thanksgiving because it pleases God. It expresses gratitude for the blessings God has extended to you. It creates feelings of goodness in your heart and soul. You’re richer because it's collects treasures kept safe in heaven by God for you. It's an alternative to rage, stress, and the cares of life. 

Rich Rewards from the Golden Rule - Part 2

Every major religion has some form of the Golden Rule. Islam states: "No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself." Jesus commanded that we love our enemies and do good unto those who unjustly treat us. To do so is to put aside hate, anger, and fault-finding.

Robert Southey explains how he managed to develop values and comfort that have sustained him throughout his life. "In my youth I remembered my God, and now He has not forgotten me in my old age." When godly values are wrecked by the pursuit of a career, material goods, or anything imaginable, the Golden Rule must be reinstated in your life.

What's at issue is simply caring for others. Hudson Taylor provides this witness. "I used to ask God to help me. Then I asked that I might help him. I ended up by asking him to do his work through me." This attitude gave him a new direction and purpose.  

Rich Rewards from the Golden Rule - Part 1

Cultures fail because they lack basic moral and spiritual values. Arguments exist concerning the decline and fall of the Greek and Roman empires, but the central cause was the loss of differentiation between right and wrong, good and evil, which bears a direct correlation to values. Where was the voice then and now that stands against the encroachment of evil?

The French Revolution was caused by a decline in values. England in the same period escaped the carnage of revolution because of a spiritual revolution prompted by John Wesley and the resulting spiritual revival in the hearts and lives of ordinary citizens.

Ralph Waldo Emerson observed: "Every man takes care that his neighbor does not cheat him. But a day comes when he begins to care that he does not cheat his neighbor.” Listen to Romans 12:9: "Abhor that which is evil. Cleave to that which is good". Your core values should implore you to love others as Christ loves you. This is not easy, but possible. 

Teaching Values: Walk the Walk - Part 2

Nathaniel Taylor inquired concerning the Golden Rule, "Which feature is most obvious in human behavior, doing as we want others to do to us or doing as we have been done to?” It's difficult not to criticize when criticized, to refrain from retaliating when emotionally or physically hurt, or to refuse to be defensive when confronted with a defensive attitude.

Jesus preached, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and he was serious about putting it into practice. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, "Jesus preached to all people the gospel of the Golden Rule. He believed the deed and not the creed would help us in our greatest and ultimate need."

Today Longfellow could say, "Walk the walk, not just talk the talk” or “Don’t be all talk and no action." Listen to Ephesians 2:10. "For we are God's workman-ship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance that we should walk in them." Good works represent our faith in Christ Jesus as well as our values and our choices.  

Teaching Values: Walk the Walk - Part 1

Values are learned from significant others like parents, relatives, and friends. In the textbook Psychiatry and Ethics, the author relates how self-scrutiny and self-examination along with honesty and sincerity were the wellsprings for helping him understand his behavior and beliefs. Values define your character and the rules you live by each day.

Values reside in your conscience and determine the multitude of choices you have to make wherever you are. If a cashier at a store mistakenly failed to charge you enough for your purchase, what would you do? Your first impulse might be to rejoice and say nothing. Would honestly win the battle?

Joseph Parker said, "Following the Golden Rule would reconcile business and labor, all political disputes and turbulence, all selfishness and greed." It's hard to believe this, even harder to practice. Jesus said "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Would you in good faith try this for just one day? God will extend you a blessing that will make a difference.  

The Foundation for our Values: Jesus' Commands - Part 3

In defining the Golden Rule someone sarcastically responded, "Do unto others before they do it to you." However, Jesus taught in Matthew 7:12, "In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." Galatians 5:13 follows with, "You’ve been given freedom to love and serve others. Remember, the whole Law can be summed up with ‘love others as you love yourself.’"

It's not uncommon even for Christians to disregard Jesus’ commands. The issue for so many could be that they find it impossible to love themselves because of self-contempt, guilt, or misunderstanding of how to appropriately love one' self.

Personal values define how you live or if the Golden Rule is applied to your daily life. In his book, The Methods of Ethics, Henry Sidgwick tells us, "Reason shows me that if my happiness is desirable and good, the equal happiness of any other person must also be equally desirable." God has given us wonderful guidelines for managing ourselves and our relationships.