Communicating with the Golden Rule

All communication reaches out to others for a specific purpose or benefit. Not all communication seeks the wellbeing of others. That's why so much of what is said is critical and negative rather than affirming and positive. When my objective is to build the character and self-esteem of others, then I am following the Golden Rule.

When negative, critical words are directed toward someone to reduce their self-esteem, the consequence should be an uneasy sense of guilt and shame. Communication was given by God to bring joy and pleasure to each person, which in turn ultimately contributes to a sense of belonging and completeness.

Success in relationships depends on a commitment to communicate openly and truthfully. What helps in times of stress is this prayer, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord my God." Communication is indeed a source of joy and wholeness when it’s pleasing to Christ Jesus.

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Then you must practice dealing with others as you would like for them to deal with you; for this is the summing up of the law and the prophets.

~Matthew 7:12 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

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To Manage Conflict, Communicate Kindness

Joseph, the favorite son of Jacob, was not protected from the conflict he had to endure with his older brothers. This conflict was just a sample of what he would face as a young man far away from home in Egypt. Conflict invades everyone's life, so it’s not a matter of choosing whether conflict will be experienced, but how it will be managed.

By the end of adolescence most people have developed a system for coping with conflict regardless of how healthy each person may be. This does not imply that change and growth are out of the question. Personality type and temperament along with parental role models influence how conflict will be managed and consequently its success or failure.

Through respectful communication and compassionate understanding, conflict can bring people closer together. Genesis 13 illustrates how Abraham successfully negotiated an end to conflict with his nephew Lot by giving Lot two positive alternatives. God gives wisdom for resolving conflicts to those who earnestly seek it. 

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Then Abram said to Lot, “We are relatives, and your men and my men shouldn’t be quarreling. So let’s separate. You go one way, and I’ll go the other.”

~Genesis 13:8-9 Good News Bible

My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry. If you are angry, you cannot do any of the good things that God wants done.

~James 1:19-20 Contemporary English Version