Is It Possible to Remain Calm in the Presence of Strife?

Have you ever planned a vacation that included a long road trip to see parts of the country and that promised enjoyment and excitement? Our lives and relationships often are compared to a journey that’s comprised of  predictability, some surprises, unexpected struggles, and moments of love and fulfillment.

Struggles and strife can catch us unprepared and surprised. Over- reacting emotionally often is caused by being caught off-guard and sensing a situation as threatening. Remaining self-composed can be difficult in the presence of angry or loud, defensive language.

Is it possible to remain calm when you are struggling emotionally? Yes! 

Look beyond the moment to understand what’s more important than reacting. Claim this promise from 2 Timothy 1:7: “God has not given you a spirit of fear but a spirit of love, power, and self-control.” What better promise can help you remain calm? May you be blessed with the peace of Christ in your heart and mind this Easter season.      

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Our God says, “Calm down, and learn [Be still, and know] that I am God!” 

~Psalm 46:10 Contemporary English Version [New International Version]

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An Effective Strategy for Change

Determining to make significant changes can be impulsive, with little consideration given for what’s required to make change successful. Changing behaviors or thought patterns demands concentration as well as an effective strategy. People know when their life is out of balance and headed for trouble.

The Hollywood director John Huston knew his tobacco addiction would culminate in emphysema and eventually the inability to do the work he loved. Yet he refused to stop smoking, believing that pleasure now is worth the pain and suffering to be experienced later. Toward the end of his life, an oxygen tank and a wheelchair became his constant companions.

Resolving to change can be painful and inconvenient but will build a bridge to a better life. Listen carefully to the warning signals conveyed to you from God himself. “Be still and quiet and know He is God Almighty and personally loves you.” The Holy Spirit is always at work to help you know and do what is best.        

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Let the Spirit change your way of thinking and make you into a new person. You were created to be like God, and so you must please him and be truly holy.

~Ephesians 4:23-24 Contemporary English Version

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Is the Silence Golden?

Someone said silence is golden when it is used as a powerful technique for communications. Experts agree that silence can speak louder than the spoken word. Silence is not an indication of an inactive brain or a lack of thinking. Difficult issues are often resolved during periods of silence even in the healthiest relationships.

There is both a positive and negative dimension to silence. It can be destructive if someone refuses to address important issues. Silence can become destructive when it is used as a tool for punishment. It’s also destructive when used to secure emotional distance or to keep someone off balance. Silence that causes pain and suffering is destructive.

Silence can be helpful for soothing tension and regaining a healthy mental and emotional perspective. When silence is used for listening, it’s possible to hear more than mere words. This builds a bridge to understanding the other person. Jesus often retreated to a lonely, quiet place to connect with his Heavenly Father. Perhaps you should explore that option. 

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Be still and know that I am God... Be still and know that I am… Be still and know… Be still… Be…

~Psalm 46:10 New International Version

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Serious Conflict Requires Serious Sacrifice

Conflicts exist because of concerns that threaten a person or a relationship. Conflict may be incited when someone or something demands change that creates uncertainty and anxiety. What this demonstrates is that needed change has failed to take place, so confrontation is a natural consequence.

The American Revolutionist, Thomas Paine noted that, "What we obtain too cheaply, we tend to respect too flippantly." Only that which has value is worth fighting for. An engaged couple, both professionals, were offered career opportunities that set them on divergent pathways with extended periods of separation. Instead of giving and receiving encouragement, dissension created by anxiety and lack of trust ended their engagement. 

 

Conflict is indicative of competing needs. Serious conflict indicates serious sacrifices are necessary to ensure the stability of a relationship. Jesus was sacrificed to end the rebellion that sin created between mankind and God. What are you willing to sacrifice for peace?  

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“Stop fighting,” he says, “and know that I am God, supreme among the nations, supreme over the world.”

~Psalm 46:10 Good News Bible

And we know that Christ, God’s Son, has come to help us understand and find the true God. And now we are in God because we are in Jesus Christ his Son, who is the only true God; and he is eternal life.

~1 John 5:20 The Living Bible

The Ultimate Fraud: Self-Deception

The Greek philosopher Plato observed, "The worst of all deceptions is self-deception."  What makes it so bad is the lack of integrity that promotes dishonesty and lies. Self-deception sabotages openness and sincerity by substituting false pride and arrogance with “I’m above playing by the rules,” and "If I'm caught, I’ll wiggle loose."

  

Self-deception begins by pushing for what’s beyond your grasp. You might want a new car or house or a big screen TV, but these would jeopardize your finances. Still you persist in telling yourself everything is cool. You’ll get a second job. The money will come in. What comes next is convincing others to agree with you.

  

Sarah desperately wanted to give Abraham a child, so she convinced her maidservant Hagar to conceive a child in her place. To implement her plan, she persuaded Abraham to commit adultery with Hagar. She erroneously believed God would bless her decision. God encourages us to wait, to reconsider, for His way is always best. 

False Beliefs Diminish Trust

Who appreciates waiting indefinitely for something to happen? Most of us want instant gratification, and when it doesn’t happen, we become impatient, determined to push for what we need or want. Jacob seemed to be a man short on patience, unwilling to wait for God’s timing to get what he thought he deserved.

Jacob was self-centered and above considering other people’s needs and feelings. He believed in getting what he wanted by hook or crook and avoiding the consequences for his reckless behavior. Accepting a power greater than his own was only for convenience. It would take a life-changing crisis for him to build a bridge of confidence required for making changes.

False beliefs set him up to take unnecessary risks. He refused to consider the suffering he brought on others or what he would experience for his own lack of patience. God helps us gain patience so we can see how effective He is at working for our best good. He encourages us to be still and see that he is the Lord God. 

Transported through Trouble

Many people today live on the edge of emotional control. Is stress more prevalent in our time than ever before? Someone told me she got up an hour before anyone else to enjoy the peace and quiet, even though this deprived her of sleep. Sometimes calmness is a bridge to emotional sanity.

A song by Simon and Garfunkel was entitled “A Bridge Over Troubled Water.” Life is full of trouble, so we need friends, family and sometimes professional help to get across a bridge spanning troubled water. Calmness soothes the heart, so we need someone with a soft voice to speak with kindness and assurance.

I love Psalm 46:10, where God tells me to “be still and know that I am the Lord.” This will help you to settle down, relax a bit so you can believe and let God calm your troubled heart. No matter where you are or what you are facing at this very moment, you can be still and know God will transport you over your bridge of troubled water.