Create Jealousy: Mission Accomplished

The fact that jealousy distorts reality is well known by those whose objective is to make others feel its pain. A woman confided to her friend, “If I want my husband to get in line, all I have to do is make him jealous.” Deliberately creating jealousy is dishonest and seldom achieves a worthy goal. Deliberately creating jealousy is also sinful.

 

There’s always danger of going too far in creating jealousy. Anyone deliberately made to feel jealous will know the pain of abandonment and distrust. Distrust eventually causes love to diminish and lose its power to control. Eventually jealousy leads to revenge and permanent withdrawal from a relationship; then grief comes to all involved.

A college student recounted how she lost her boyfriend when she made him feel jealous. "All I wanted to do was make sure he loved me. Now he will not let me apologize or forgive me." Jealousy is not kind, gentle or patient. It is not filled with joy, long-suffering or self-control, but God’s love and true love include all of these. 

Distorted Reality

Jealousy distorts the way we think, feel and believe. When David killed Goliath, Saul the king appointed him to a high position in the army. As David continued to prove himself in battle and the people began to sing his praises, Saul believed David was after his kingdom. Prompted by jealousy, Saul tried to kill him on several occasions.

As Saul’s thinking patterns became distorted by jealousy, David became his enemy instead of a faithful servant who loved and honored him. Resentment allied with jealousy made it possible for the king’s mind to distort just about everything in his world. Resentment is closely related to fear, and fear adds fuel to the fire of jealousy.

Saul failed to understand that he could be loved and respected on his own merits. Galatians 5:22 encourages us to permit the Holy Spirit to diminish the impact of jealousy. The Holy Spirit's power produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Why not yield to that power now?  

Subdue the Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy is difficult to own because it's perceived as a weakness. To recognize jealousy as a weakness is to own feelings of insecurity. In the play Othello, Shakespeare labeled jealousy as a green-eyed monster. Othello killed his wife because he wrongly believed she was unfaithful. Does that sound familiar?

Jealousy is like a green-eyed monster because it distorts a person’s imagination or relationship. A man sees a stranger talking to his wife at a party. If he feels insecure, jealousy surges forth. He can only imagine what they're talking about, and it’s here where distortion becomes allied with jealousy, giving credibility to the green-eyed monster.

St. Paul teaches in Romans 13:14 to fight jealousy by clothing yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ. This means surrendering all you are and all you have to Christ Jesus, including the object of your jealousy. Then take on his virtues of love, trust, truth and humility. Only this will subdue the green-eyed monster known as jealousy. 

Beware of Good Intentions

Good intentions covered over with DECEPTION never produce a

godly outcome but open the door to pain and suffering. Rebekah, the mother of Jacob and Esau, was determined that Jacob would receive their father Isaac’s blessing. She was willing to deceive her husband to make sure it happened.

Where there is lack of faith and trust, there is fear. Fear then gives rise to extreme self-centeredness and a fiery self-determination. There is no evidence Rebekah consulted God concerning her plan of deception. Isn’t it like us to act independently, setting our own plans in motion, only to experience the worse possible consequences?

When Rebekah informed Jacob of her scheme, he was initially reluctant, but her persuasive skills were too precisely honed to resist. So, he became a full participant in her deception, unaware of what it would cost him. Psalm 119 identifies the character strength of resistance we need. “I refuse to walk in the paths of evil.” This can be your choice. God will bless you.  

False Beliefs Diminish Trust

Who appreciates waiting indefinitely for something to happen? Most of us want instant gratification, and when it doesn’t happen, we become impatient, determined to push for what we need or want. Jacob seemed to be a man short on patience, unwilling to wait for God’s timing to get what he thought he deserved.

Jacob was self-centered and above considering other people’s needs and feelings. He believed in getting what he wanted by hook or crook and avoiding the consequences for his reckless behavior. Accepting a power greater than his own was only for convenience. It would take a life-changing crisis for him to build a bridge of confidence required for making changes.

False beliefs set him up to take unnecessary risks. He refused to consider the suffering he brought on others or what he would experience for his own lack of patience. God helps us gain patience so we can see how effective He is at working for our best good. He encourages us to be still and see that he is the Lord God. 

Selfish Ambition vs. Sacrificial Giving

SELFISHNESS can be an automatic, protective mindset and behavior when danger is apparent. Most often, however, it’s motivated by greed designed to satisfy deeper needs. Jacob wanted his brother’s birthright.  His attitude was, “I want all that's mine and what belongs to you.” He wanted his brother’s position and prestige.

What drives a person to develop a selfish disposition? Reckless ambition characterized Jacob’s life even though he had everything he needed. So instead of being greedy for more wealth, he wanted the acknowledgement that ownership of Esau’s birthright would give him. He would not live his life in obscurity by being in second place.

Jacob did not love his brother. Selfish ambition blindsided moral responsibility. He was thinking only of himself. Selfishness driven by greed grabs whatever is wanted. Jesus said, “Give and it shall be given to you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together will others give to you.” This is a basic life principle to live by.