Is Belonging Required for Happiness?

“What does it take to make you happy?” is often asked out of frustration by a person who realizes they have failed to please somebody. The majority of human beings desire to be in relationships, for happiness is anchored to loving others and to belonging. From conception we are genetically linked to a mother and father.

Throughout life, belonging, accompanied by love is required for true happiness. To belong is more than being a part of an organization or family but reflects who we are as defined by our character. Belonging clearly distinguishes us from others by identifying our trustworthiness.

The wedding ring is a powerful symbol of belonging, security and love that is honored and respected by most people. By accepting God’s love, symbolized in Christ Jesus, we have his love, security and peace for all eternity. When we belong to Jesus Christ, joy and happiness will freely flow from us to others.            

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Christ encourages you, and his love comforts you. God’s Spirit unites you, and you are concerned for others. Now make me completely happy! Love in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person.

~Philippians 2:1-2 Contemporary English Version

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What Rates High on Your Hierarchy of Needs Scale?

What inspires western civilizations to put so much emphasis on the need for happiness? As basic physiological and safety needs are secured, more attention is given to happiness and the need for comfort and pleasure. When basic needs are threatened, happiness drops on the priority scale.

If you were to rate your happiness on a scale of zero to ten, what would be your actual score? Psychologist Abraham Maslow devised a hierarchy of needs scale, with physiological and safety needs coming first and the need for love and belonging being next. Yet, belonging to a family or other relationships may not generate happiness.

The wonderful thing about true happiness is, it’s contagious. Matthew 5:21 tells of a landowner who was so pleased with his servants that he invited them to share in his happiness. You can invite others to share in the happiness you enjoy as a Christian and in what it means to a be a son or daughter of the Lord God. 

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I hear about your faith in our Lord Jesus and about your love for all of God’s people. As you share your faith with others, I pray that they may come to know all the blessings Christ has given us. My friend, your love has make me happy and has greatly encouraged me. It has also cheered the hearts of God’s people.

~Philemon 1:5-7 Contemporary English Version

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Happiness or Joy? What's the Difference?

Happiness is not a requirement for being successful, and yet success will never be able to guarantee indefinite happiness. We dream of being able to acquire certain possessions that should bring us happiness, such as a home or a particular type of car. The hook is believing that what we yearn for will squelch our appetite for what is new and better.

It’s okay to do your part in keeping the economy healthy, but happiness is always subject to conditions that change without warning. Some folks believe happiness is related to wealth and social standing, but there is a deeper connection to God that must be nurtured.

True joy is an emotional stabilizer that is received from Christ Jesus. Deuteronomy 16:15 proclaims God’s promise to you: “For the Lord your God will bless you in all of your work, and your joy will be complete.” This means there are no gaps or loopholes in what God provides. He is never slack in his provision of joy.  

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Why is everyone hungry for more? “More, more,” they say. “More, more.” I have God’s more-than-enough. More joy in one ordinary day than they get in all their shopping sprees. At day’s end I’m ready for sound sleep, for you, God, have put my life back together.

~Psalm 4:6-8 The Message 

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How Can Unhappiness Motivate Change?

It’s impossible to be a member of society and never experience some unhappiness. Children do not always get what they want although they may tend to be overindulged. A young woman was sent to the university of her choice with a new sports car, the latest fashion, and credits cards, but after a semester of failing grades and being very unhappy, she refused to continue seeking a college degree.

Spoiled children and adults believe if they could acquire a particular object, place or position, they would surely be satisfied, contented, and happy. Yet they’re under constant pressure to keep the truth hidden behind a mask of distorted reality.

This method of thinking and feeling can eventually produce an emotional crisis. Unhappiness can be the motivation for reaching out to Christ Jesus and perhaps a Christian counselor. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ gives you courage to do what is good and right for yourself and others. Faith is God’s gift to you for managing unhappiness. 

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So get rid of your old self, which made you live as you used to – the old self that was being destroyed by its deceitful desires. Your hearts and minds must be made completely new, and you must put on the new self, which is created in God’s likeness and reveals itself in the true life that is upright and holy.  

~Ephesians 4:22-24 Good News Bible

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What Can Failure Teach Us?

Failure at some level will be experienced by everyone. Recovery prompts us to move forward and correct what contributed to the adversity we experienced. While failure gives temptation an opportunity to take advantage of our imperfections, it can be a strong signal that changes need to be made in our thinking patterns and behaviors.

If we deny that changes are required, then learning valuable lessons from failures will be sacrificed. Failure is an astute teacher when we are willing to face the truth, and it is forgivable when accompanied by a repentant attitude and commitment to make amends, as God prompts us to do.

Remember the cliché, “When at first you don’t succeed, try, and try again.” Taking responsibility for disappointment opens the door for a new beginning which God will provide. Ask him for wisdom to grasp what he offers you. This enables you to press onward toward God’s high calling. The Lord helps those who earnestly seek him. Do that now.          

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Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call upon him now while he is near. Let [people] cast off their wicked deeds, let them banish from their minds the very thought of doing wrong! Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy upon them, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon!

~Isaiah 55:6-7 The Living Bible

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Why Does God Permit Unhappiness?

Why God permits unhappiness to exist is a question that has been continuously asked because it intrudes into everyone’s peace of mind. A persistent cause of unhappiness is failure to live up to expectations. Failure is often unavoidable, for it’s impossible to succeed in every endeavor.

When children fail to live up to their potential, disappointment can last indefinitely without parental intervention and encouragement. It’s easy to rally around success, but helping children grieve through failure and loss is difficult, but possible. Helping them reach their potential is a God-given responsibility.

While God permits unhappiness to exist, he does not create it. If we  honestly, with God’s help, examine our lives, we will discover behaviors and mindsets responsible for our failures and unhappiness. James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins and failures to one another, for confession frees the soul and spirit to be healed by God.  

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[The Lord] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow].

~Psalm 147:3 Amplified Bible

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How to Heal from Deep Unhappiness

You don't have to live for an extended period of time before coming up against the cutting edge of unhappiness. Cutting-edge unhappiness pierces deep into your feelings. While unhappiness is not fatal, it may feel like you will never recover from the heartache caused by an important failure or loss.

When unhappiness strikes, the first reaction may be to believe the suffering that pierced your heart and soul will never end. In the darkness of unhappiness, pain can be so intense it’s often impossible to see your complicity in causing your suffering. The most appropriate action to take is to accept responsibility for what you know is yours to claim.

Eventually, healing from unhappiness is possible as you permit Jesus to administer the medicine of forgiveness into your heart and soul. Happy and blessed are you, who realize your helplessness and put your trust completely in Christ Jesus. He is capable of healing you and giving you joy for living.                             

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O send out your light and your truth, let them lead me; Let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling places. Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my exceeding joy. ...Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for him, for I shall again praise him, [who is] the help of my sad countenance and is my God.  

~Psalm 43:3-5 Amplified Bible

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