Is It Too Costly to Stand for Your True Beliefs?

The majority of people want to be accepted by those within their preferred social groups. Most people know what it takes to draw people rather than repel them. In our culture the word nice defines a generous, helpful person who tries to avoid conflict.

Is it conceivable to be too nice and fall into a vicious circle trying to please everyone by agreeing with issues that are contrary to your personal values and beliefs? All too often being nice is more important than taking a stand for what is morally and biblically correct.

There were individuals who spoke harshly against Jesus because he did not always do what was considered nice. He touched people with  leprosy and socialized with tax collectors. He showed compassion toward a woman prostitute and challenged those who pretended to be above sin. Ask yourself, “How would Jesus respond if he were facing my current issues?” Take time to listen for a response. 

           

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Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

~James 4:17 New American Standard Bible

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Bridge an Impasse with Communication

An impasse reflects a hopeless deadlock bound up in differences of opinion. Striving for control and power where self-esteem or feelings of self-worth appear in jeopardy is what creates an impasse. This does not mean that an issue is a life-or-death situation but that winning has become the issue.

Fran and Jesse have created a crisis of credit card debt. It takes all their extra funds just to pay the minimum on this debt. With absolutely no financial wiggle room, fighting over everything has become a daily occurrence. Jesse refuses to leave the job he loves for one with a higher-paying salary. Fran refuses to cut back on what she considers necessities.

Mistakes and bad judgments reflect immaturity, but where there’s a willingness to acknowledge mistakes and change behaviors, hope for a relationship can be secured. An impasse can be dislodged only as communication builds a bridge to insight and understanding. When God is given freedom to influence your heart and mind, he then will give you understanding and wisdom to do what is good and right. 

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Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin.

~James 4:17 New American Standard Bible

So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this, just keep on doing it.

~1 Thessalonians 5:11 The Message

Integrity Guards Self-Respect - Part 2

Harper Lee in her novel To Kill a Mockingbird noted, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view, until you climb into their skin and walk around in it." In truth, understanding anyone requires having correct motives and being willing to respect and accept what is different or opposite of what we believe or think.

Self-respect is built on integrity. If true self-respect resides in a person, then the possibility of having respect from and for others will exist. Henry Amiel understood this when he said, "We only understand that which is already within us." Self-respect comes from knowing what is right and doing it. This brings honor to God, self and others.

An old Chinese proverb is instructive: "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." Self-respect and self-love are grounded in doing what is upright, good, and godly. Old habits are tenacious, but integrity and endurance must be sought after and practiced. God bless you as you commit to doing so.