Bridge an Impasse with Communication

An impasse reflects a hopeless deadlock bound up in differences of opinion. Striving for control and power where self-esteem or feelings of self-worth appear in jeopardy is what creates an impasse. This does not mean that an issue is a life-or-death situation but that winning has become the issue.

Fran and Jesse have created a crisis of credit card debt. It takes all their extra funds just to pay the minimum on this debt. With absolutely no financial wiggle room, fighting over everything has become a daily occurrence. Jesse refuses to leave the job he loves for one with a higher-paying salary. Fran refuses to cut back on what she considers necessities.

Mistakes and bad judgments reflect immaturity, but where there’s a willingness to acknowledge mistakes and change behaviors, hope for a relationship can be secured. An impasse can be dislodged only as communication builds a bridge to insight and understanding. When God is given freedom to influence your heart and mind, he then will give you understanding and wisdom to do what is good and right. 

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Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin.

~James 4:17 New American Standard Bible

So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this, just keep on doing it.

~1 Thessalonians 5:11 The Message

Conflict: Deterrent or Encouragement to Change? - Part 1

The objective for desiring change can be to resolve conflicts created by unyielding points of view. Becoming comfortable with conflict seems improbable, but still it exists in relationships. A deterrent to change that often becomes a dead-end for relationships is growing contented with conflict. Yet most people long for a loving, fulfilling marriage and friendship.

Everyone experiences ambivalent, contrasting feelings which are simultaneously accompanied by contrasting thoughts. Someone might argue convincingly for an issue, then feel anxious about their argument. When conflict arises, anxiety can be a deterrent to resolution and change.

God’s word is clear about living in peace with everyone in as much as it is possible. Inner peace should be each believer’s objective, as God’s word indicates. “God will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts are fixed on him. Trust in the Lord God always for he is your strength.” This is the perfect means for change.

Greasing the Wheels of Change - Part 3

An impasse may be defined as a collision of ideas, where individuals are unwilling to accept a contrasting point of view. This is not uncommon in relationships where arguments evolve into conflicts. Reluctance to permit the existence of differing ideas produces derailment of communication that often points to immaturity and stubbornness.

To break out of an impasse, clearly define what created the impasse. Someone said: “I never give up, give in, or change my position.” What fashioned this attitude? Probably an intense compulsion to compete, a lack of compassion, immaturity or perhaps a resolve to win regardless of negative consequences to others.

God’s purpose for the Apostle Paul and Paul’s vision for himself collided. It took an encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus and temporary blindness for Paul to realize change was imminent. As Jesus spoke to Paul, he chose to listen and willingly changed his attitude to include God’s plan and purpose. God’s purpose and plan are always right and good.