Communicate with a Calm, Clear Head

When asked, "Would you like to be a more effective communicator?" the majority of respondents answer in the affirmative. An area where most individuals say they need to improve their communication skills is one where strong emotions push voices out of bounds and the need to remain calm and in control becomes absolutely necessary.

When communications deteriorate into loud voices, with each person defensively trying to over-talk the other, attempts to listen with empathy and understanding are lost. Social skills and effective communication tend to take a back seat as powerful emotions take sway of rationality. 

An essential principle for effective communication is to exhibit a calm demeanor and a clear head when loud voices and strong emotions attempt to block interactions. Jesus  intervened when Martha was angry at Mary for not sharing the workload. Jesus asked her to focus on the important issue rather than reacting with anger. This is possible with refocusing, patience, and prayer.  

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Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise.

~Proverbs 12:18 The Message

 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.

~Matthew 12:37 English Standard Version

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Sweet Speech vs. Spite

The way we talk and the words we use define our character. Our communication style and the tone of our voice give insight into the success or failure of the objectives we try to achieve with others. Listen to Proverbs 12:18: “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

The demands of spiteful, sarcastic language are never met. It's interesting to note that the Greek word for sarcasm means to "tear flesh", and tear is what it does – emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. So spiteful words poison a relationship, but you can change your speech.

Matthew 15:11 gives us wisdom from Jesus: “It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, you are polluted by words that come out of your mouth.” Proverbs 16:24 reminds us, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones”. The Holy Spirit longs to give you courage to apply God’s way to your speech so you will have peace with God and yourself.

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Mean people spread mean gossip; their words smart and burn.

~Proverbs 16:27 The Message

Make your words good – you will be glad you did.

~Proverbs 18:20 Contemporary English Version

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Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.