What Is a Possible Remedy for Complaining?

How individuals or couples function in a relationship determines satisfaction and enjoyment. Disagreements and arguments do not mean that a relationship is in trouble but can be an opportunity for expressing feelings and thoughts as well as discovering solutions to what is troubling each person.

It’s critically important to realize that registering a difference of opinion or expressing a simple complaint is miles apart from criticizing and attacking another’s character and integrity. Complaining can become habitual and is indicative of unhappiness with oneself, with another person or the relationship.

Asking an intimate other for suggestions on how to solve a problem is a strategy for remaining calm. Being willing to listen and consider solutions that vary from your own ideas is absolutely necessary. Proverbs 15:18 offers hope: “Hot tempered people stir up dissension, but patient people calm quarrels.” It is possible to be patient with each other.        

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Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.

~Proverbs 14:29 The Message 

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What About Unresolved Anger?

Unresolved anger will not magically disappear but will be transformed into resentment. Anger stored away in memories where solutions are out of bounds clearly identifies resentment. Nurturing negative memories keeps hatred alive. Resentment is analogous to taking a tiger by the tail, realizing the consequence will be disastrous, but still being unable to let it go.

Resentment erodes self-esteem by destroying trust in the ones who should be valued and loved. Resentment kills friendship by destroying the capacity to trust and be honest. How does resentment get such a strong grip on us? Hurt feelings transformed into anger give birth to resentment.

What feeds resentment is the belief that you are being cut off from your desires and happiness. How can you let it go?  

Each time resentment surfaces, ask God to help you let it go. By asking God to give you the will to be forgiving, resentment loses its grip on you. This step opens the door to God’s blessings of security and safety.  

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A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.  

~Proverbs 14:29  The Living Bible

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