What About Unresolved Anger?

Unresolved anger will not magically disappear but will be transformed into resentment. Anger stored away in memories where solutions are out of bounds clearly identifies resentment. Nurturing negative memories keeps hatred alive. Resentment is analogous to taking a tiger by the tail, realizing the consequence will be disastrous, but still being unable to let it go.

Resentment erodes self-esteem by destroying trust in the ones who should be valued and loved. Resentment kills friendship by destroying the capacity to trust and be honest. How does resentment get such a strong grip on us? Hurt feelings transformed into anger give birth to resentment.

What feeds resentment is the belief that you are being cut off from your desires and happiness. How can you let it go?  

Each time resentment surfaces, ask God to help you let it go. By asking God to give you the will to be forgiving, resentment loses its grip on you. This step opens the door to God’s blessings of security and safety.  

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A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.  

~Proverbs 14:29  The Living Bible

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Is There a Productive Way to Express Anger?

Unresolved anger builds a wall between individuals who might love and care for each other. This wall may be unheeded initially but in time will create a barrier that appears impossible to penetrate. Anger can become layered in when there is no attempt to resolve issues that trigger this emotion.

Each eruption of anger can weaken the bond of trust. This is unfortunate because there’s a healthier way to manage an emotion that’s impossible to avoid. Some believe anger is the most convenient means for controlling situations and people, but this perception ignores the destructive nature of anger.

God’s anger as portrayed in Psalm 30:5 lasts only a moment, which implies anger is unavoidable but can be resolved immediately. Ask yourself, “Is the way I express anger productive or does it drive others away.” With God’s guidance and insight, walls created by anger can be dismantled.                

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Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.

~Ephesians 4:31-32 Contemporary English Version

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