What Make a Family Gathering Joyful?

A young woman told me recently that she regrets going to her in-laws for family gatherings but feels obligated to do so or else her husband and children would be sad and confused. This clearly identifies how difficult it is to tolerate the lack of mutual compatibility between some family members.

Incompatibility creates negative expectations, even at the thought of sharing time together. If this is your situation, focus on what created the love your spouse’s family feel toward each other. Is this similar to how you feel toward your family?

Look for the loving attributes in each person and in yourself, and stay focused on those throughout a gathering. So consciously commit to loving others as God loves you and you will be blessed. 

While God’s way is not always easy, eventually attitudes will change prompted by the love of God that resides in you.                  

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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

~Romans 15:13 Revised Standard Version

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Is There a Productive Way to Express Anger?

Unresolved anger builds a wall between individuals who might love and care for each other. This wall may be unheeded initially but in time will create a barrier that appears impossible to penetrate. Anger can become layered in when there is no attempt to resolve issues that trigger this emotion.

Each eruption of anger can weaken the bond of trust. This is unfortunate because there’s a healthier way to manage an emotion that’s impossible to avoid. Some believe anger is the most convenient means for controlling situations and people, but this perception ignores the destructive nature of anger.

God’s anger as portrayed in Psalm 30:5 lasts only a moment, which implies anger is unavoidable but can be resolved immediately. Ask yourself, “Is the way I express anger productive or does it drive others away.” With God’s guidance and insight, walls created by anger can be dismantled.                

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Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.

~Ephesians 4:31-32 Contemporary English Version

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What Can Calm the Hook and Snare of Anger?

Anger is a snare that has the potential for wrecking the strongest commitment to remain calm and in control. Permitting anger to control a situation is what most people want to avoid. As a mother was checking out at the grocery store, her toddler grabbed a bar of candy and refused to put it back on the shelf.

The mother responded with a practical reason for denying him the candy. He promptly turned red in the face, began screaming, and intensified his grip on the candy bar. As others looked on, the mother’s face also turned red with embarrassment, which was a prelude to her anger.

A temper tantrum is common in childhood, but the adult’s temptation to give in and placate it must be avoided. Anger is not a bad emotion, but it can be disturbing to be hooked by your anger. Psalm 30:5 describes God’s anger as lasting only a moment, yet his kindness lasts a lifetime. You can control your anger by refusing to use it as a weapon or tool for managing difficult situations.      

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Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity. A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.

~Proverbs 14:29-30 The Message

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Integrity Guards Self-Respect - Part 3

Endurance tells us to stand firm when we feel like retreating.  Endurance encourages us to remain mentally and emotionally tough when we feel weak and tired. Endurance gives determination to be spiritually committed, for then we can be assured that God’s purpose will prevail. Faith and trust enable us to withstand every evil deterrent Satan hurls at us.

As endurance stands firm, self-respect and self-esteem become more entrenched. A reality some believers find unacceptable concerns suffering and having difficult days. So many question the reason God permits struggles and strife to invade their lives, forgetting that Christ Jesus gave up his life for them.

It’s not that we should look for suffering because suffering pursues everyone. The apostle Paul encourages us to endure suffering with patience, for when God gives us a reprieve, we are blessed with confidence. Endurance builds tolerance by knowing joy comes in the morning after a dark night of suffering. For that joy we offer heartfelt thanks to God.