Can False Guilt Seem Real and Powerful?

Exceptionally nice people may have problems saying “no” to others even when it’s appropriate to do so. Conversely, a father of two explained that he says “yes” to his children as often as possible, but when he says “no,” that’s exactly what he means.

An issue with many people is feeling guilty for saying “no” because they believe they’ve violated the rule to be nice. Some children and adults are experts at creating feelings of guilt in others. Saying “no,” feeling guilt, then giving in, defines a vicious circle.

Guilt implies sin has taken place, and now punishment will surely follow – which creates fear and anxiety. Ask yourself, “What legitimate sin have I committed?” Clearly evaluate the answer. The purpose of “Christ in you” is to convict for sin which leads to repentance and forgiveness. False guilt is different, and “Christ in you” will show you the difference. Are you thankful for God’s faithfulness?  

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Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection.

~Romans 12:9-10 New Living Translation

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What Makes Apathy So Debilitating?

The danger of procrastination is that it can evolve into apathy. Apathy can be described as a lack of emotional caring about whether life is good or bad. Apathy can produce a lack of passion for life. 

When a person has passion for life, there is motivation for what has to be done.

The first step in turning procrastination into achievement is to change your attitude. God desires for you to achieve and be successful, so take ownership of what’s causing you to procrastinate. By your taking ownership, God is in a position to heal you spiritually and emotionally.

God designed you to achieve and care about your future. He never intended for you to be apathetic and uncaring. Listen to God’s word from Galatians 6:9: “So let us not become tired of doing good, for if we do not give up, a time will come when we will reap a harvest of blessings.” This attitude and the resulting action open the door for a new life filled with achievement.  

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Love sincerely. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Love one another tenderly as fellow Christians. Outdo one another in showing respect.

~Romans 12:9-10 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

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Does Difference of Opinion Equate to Conflict?

The cutting edge of anger is so sharp that it can damage trust and respect. The intent of anger is to take away power from those perceived as threatening. Fear, at some level, takes responsibility for creating and perpetuating anger. Fear creates a fight-or-flight reaction.

Two friends moved into an office to create a business they had talked about for years. How to furnish the office immediately became a point of contention. When anger and resentment became unresolvable, the friendship dissolved, with them each going their separate ways.

Differences of opinion do not have to be destructive when respect for each person is highly valued. Respect for one another can remain at the forefront of conflict by believing Jesus Christ lives in the heart and mind of each person with whom I disagree. Therefore I can be patient and kind, for God has not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and self-control. So live by that truth.  

                        

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Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

~Romans 12:9-10 The Message

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Can You Conquer Anger?

Anger is responsible for as much heartache and trouble as is any other emotion. While anger by itself is not a bad emotion, behaviors linked to it become the issue. There are individuals who continuously need to be in control of others and their environment, to the extent of utilizing anger to maintain that control.

Anger becomes destructive when persons possessing it believe they are justified in punishing another person or object. What drives anger is feeling threatened in ways apparent only to those who perceive themselves as vulnerable. So what can prevent anger from becoming reactive and out of control?

Immediately ask yourself, “What am I doing? Does God approve of  what I am compelled to do?” Assess the consequences of what you’re thinking. Listen to Romans 12:21. “Do not let evil get the best of you but conquer evil by doing good.” Pray that God will bless whoever is the object of your anger. 

                      

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But I tell you to … pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven.

~Matthew 6:44-45 Contemporary English Version

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Out of a Critical Pit

“Why do I always get blamed for all of our problems and troubles?” Could that be your predicament? Or perhaps you’re the one blaming and criticizing. Either way, your relationship is destined for trouble. A creative step for freeing yourself from this type of communicating is to realize it’s a habit that can be broken.

Criticism is defended by insinuating incorrectly that it's beneficial. Accusations and criticism portray a person who feels threatened, but it takes honesty and integrity to admit this is true. Criticism is used to deflate another person's self-esteem, but hurling criticism damages one's own integrity and self-respect.

It's possible to move creatively beyond this type of relating by seeing others as being created in God's image and deserving kindness and respect. In Psalm 40 David gives his testimony: "The Lord God lifted me out of a slimy pit. He gave me a new song to sing." God will lift you out of that same pit if you ask him. Why not do it?  

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Love must be completely sincere. Hate what is evil, hold on to what is good. Love one another warmly as Christians, and be eager to show respect for one another.

~Romans 12:9-10 Good News Bible

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