External Help for Internal Conflict

Internal conflicts require acceptable solutions which may not be forthcoming from within oneself. In complex struggles between individuals, it's difficult to arrive at compatible remedies that meet each person’s needs. Mediators, attorneys and counselors are sought out to help each party agree on a compromise.

On the surface, outer circumstances may seem unchanged, but progress takes place when each person desires to end the chaos. A judge may order couples who want a divorce to get counseling to resolve child custody and finances. Marriage counseling can help couples work out conflicts before a divorce court becomes a necessity.

While conflict is unavoidable, it need not cause the relationship to fail. When there’s conflict, do your best to listen to all the other person has to say. Make an all-out effort to consider feelings from his or her point of view. Jesus in Matthew 5:25 encourages those in conflict to settle issues quickly while there is opportunity to do so. 

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The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of compassion and good deeds, free from doubts and insincerity. The harvest of uprightness is grown from the seed of peace by those who are peacemakers.

~James 3:17-18 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

If someone brings a lawsuit against you and takes you to court, settle the dispute while there is time, before you get to court.

~Matthew 5:25a Good News Bible

Impasse Ahead – Let's Talk

Conflict has a way of producing stubbornness, or one could say that stubbornness is responsible for creating or perpetuating disagreements. Conflict is unavoidable and eventually will make its presence known where all relationships exist. Clashes of personalities may result in tension or produce an impasse where hoped-for solutions seem out of sight.

An impasse occurs when a disagreement creates a stalemate. Jerry and Kate could not agree on how to discipline their son. Jerry believed a spanking was in order for severe infringement of rules. Kate either gave their son “time out” or ignored the infringement. Consequently, their fights left their son feeling anxious and guilty for causing so much trouble.

When two people are so stubborn that they refuse to compromise, the relationship may falter or become stagnant. Maturity sees an issue from another's perspective and can choose to follow God’s plan which encourages, "Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. Reasoning together builds a bridge to understanding and peace.  

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May God who gives patience, steadiness and encouragement help you to live in complete harmony with each other – each with the attitude of Christ toward the other.

~Romans 15:5 The Living Bible